DYWW? - A Crying Baby Annoys The Entire Restaurant - Don't Do This.

Not everyone does well with baby cries.  Contrary to what is happening in this video, it would make sense to wait until the baby is mature enough to bring him or her to a restaurant.  Mothers as well as others who have had difficult times parenting children know full well there isn't anything pleasant about a crying baby.

A Word from the Blog Owner - Thank You for a Great Year!

I just wanted to take this moment to thank the contributors of this blog and all those who have shared their entries.  I am so glad that so many parents have found it useful.  I look forward to having an even better year!

At this time we are welcoming any contributors who would like to be featured for their parenting tips or challenges with having a mixed aged group family (newborn, toddler, tween, and teen) on this blog.  Also any individual or business who would like to purchase ad space, do make contact.

Feel free to reply to this post or contact me at nichollmcguire@gmail.com

Nicholl McGuire is the manager of this blog, a self-published author, inspirational speaker, and business owner originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has been a featured guest on television and radio talk shows such as networks CBS and WPXI Channel 11.

Just When I Thought They Were Old Enough to Do...

You anticipate the days when your children are independent and can do many things on their own and then they start doing much--yeah!  Then it's as if over night someone erased their brains and suddenly they can't do much. 

"Mom can you...Dad would you mind helping me with...?" 

Your stomach churns, your head hurts, and you go back to wondering, "When will you be on your own?"

The joys of parenthood (sigh).

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Should I Go to the Party? and other books.

Having a Family Will Change How You See Everything

You may have been at this "family thing" for awhile now or just getting started, and gradually some lightbulbs are clicking off about many issues related to family.  My awakening to the significance of having a family of my own began back in 1999 when I realized after my pregnancy announcement, how much people suddenly were more interested in my life.  The phone calls increased, a baby shower was being planned at the time, and relatives and friends started asking questions about my future, the father, and sharing advice about things we had never talked about before like parenting.

I will be the first to admit I have been forever changed since having my own family which increased from three to six members over the years then throw in extended relatives and in-laws and remarriages.  I don't even see the childhood family I grew up with in the same way I once did and neither did I go along with the programming either.  As my family grew in size over 10 plus years, so did my eye balls!  I started noticing everything that was wrong and right about things like: the way our society treats families, parenting practices, employment issues, relationship, entertainment, food, shelter, traditions, morals, spirituality, etc. 

Everything was up for speculation externally and internally more-so once my family came along.  I wanted to sincerely know whether what I had been fed over the years by all from family doctors to media was indeed factual.  I started thinking more about childhood, because I had four children who were relying on me to share honest, accurate and fair information with them that could help with learning more about themselves.  I yielded on some questionable knowledge given to me over decades and put it through a filter I created after I saw lie after lie show up during my personal, spiritual journey that my Lord moved me to go on before children got here.  I told myself, "Wait a minute, do I really want them to emulate my upbringing?  Do I want them to mirror my school experience?  Should I be ushering them in a direction just because it is familiar to me?"  The jury was out in my mind about these things, but when the verdict came in, "Guilty."  No, I couldn't give them a model of everyone and everything that had been present in my life and call it "good."  There were plenty of wrongs and these children deserved a chance at a better life, better start and more.  Isn't that what decent relatives and ancestors wanted for our generation?

Having family does impact your personal views as much as you would like to fight with the changes within.  We have to face the fact that our perceptions are not always grounded truth and we are just not as sweet, kind, and loving as we would like to think.  Children show us our true selves and sometimes all we can do is swallow our proud and work on being better to ourselves and those around us.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books and shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

Burnt Out Parents, Spouse: Recognize Warning Signs Before It's Too Late

Whether you or a partner is not his or her "normal" self for any number of reasons like:  financial challenges, midlife crisis, menopause, PMS, death of a relative, divorce, too many child related responsibilities, and other issues, the signs are there, he or she is just not able to handle children and/or grandchildren at this time.

What some partners will do is ignore the writing on the wall and proceed with family events, errands, chores, projects, Sunday services, and more anyway; therefore, inviting more family stress.  Then when the burnt out parent shows unbridled anger toward a child or children in front of others, he or she is scolded, abused, sent off to jail, etc.

The signs are always there before any explosive incident.  At first we claim we didn't see the volcano erupting, but when we think for a moment, the warning signs were building up with a loved one.  It is far more easier to create one's false perception of what could be happening to someone else while dismissing the obvious signs, but the truth is usually looking you right in the face, no need to analyze.  A burnt out parent is one who explodes over the littlest of things and there are other clues as well that he or she is headed toward a melt down:

1.  Often tired and never able to get any rest.
2.  Yelling in the car, at home, over the phone and elsewhere about almost anything that creates the slightest inconvenience.
3.  Impatient with loved ones.
4.  Nervousness.
5.  Rigid when touched and/or at family gatherings.
6.  Rude with very young children and the elderly.
7.  Offers to help others even though he or she can't afford to do it (i.e. money issues, little time, patience, etc.) then bad mouths those who needed assistance.

The over-the-top discipline with unruly children is sure to follow and it is at that point one must be watchful and helpful.  Protecting children and offering to assist the burnt out mother and/or father is the best thing one can do.  If need be, consult with professionals about every area of one's life to ensure he or she gets necessary help.  

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.  She shares spiritual insight on a variety of topics on YouTube, listen here.

Toxic Dad, Grandfather, Father-in-Law Might Not Be Good for You or Children

Sometimes we just don't want to admit when a familial relationship has run its course.  People change and they don't always remain so nice, friendly, and generous when life isn't so bright and cheery for them as it once was. 

What is overlooked in some families is how a toxic, demanding personality sucks the life out of room if you let it and how that same person just might be negatively impacting your children.  We focus a lot as a society on mothers and how they interact and care for children, but fathers if not pro-active and positive can wreck havoc whether they are in our lives or not.  Author, Speaker and Virtual Assistant Nicholl McGuire shares an excerpt out of her new book, Say Goodbye to Dad, do get the book and start working on correcting any "daddy issues" that might be affecting you and how you parent your children.  Click here to listen to audio.

5 Unflattering Things Expectant Dads Need to Know About Their Pregnant Partners

You might be going through much since the news, "We're pregnant."  Well-wishers just don't know how much things have changed mentally, spiritually, and physically for you.  You may be experiencing some of your partner's pain, mood swings, and other things.  There are thoughts going through your head and they aren't all positive.  So what does an expectant dad does with the mounting pregnancy related issues?  First, try your best to be empathetic, step up to the plate and help when you can, and realize that things will not go back to the way they were prior to having your child or children.  Grieve this fact and move on.  Stop being tempted to live in the past and hope for a similar future.  Your hormonal partner is going through much and you will need to have a support system that will keep you stable.  Consider a team of people who "have been there and done that."  They are available in hospitals, churches, schools, nonprofit groups, etc.  Perform research and include your city and state in the search engine to see what helpful resources are available for troubled expectant dads and their challenging pregnant wives/mates.   

So what might you ponder now when it comes to your pregnant partner?

1.  The expectant mom doesn't always like "that guy" who got her pregnant.  You aren't the same in her eyes at times especially when you act just as irritable as she does.  Of course, you know it takes two to argue, but she is thinking, "What did I do?  What did I do?  Who is this guy really and is he going to be a good dad?"   Sometimes the only thing that is on a pregnant woman's mind is food and pain.  Think about those times when you weren't yourself when you were hungry or having your share of aches.

2.  You're right, "She's crazy."  So what are you going to do about it?  Act crazy too?  Go find something to do to let off steam i.e.) bike ride, exercise, visit your mother/relatives, window shop, sit on a park bench and think about the positive.  View your photo albums and think about good times, but don't wish for them.  Use the present moments to make you stronger, wiser and a better human being.  Work a little later on some days if you just don't have the energy to come home right away. Visit a favorite place or read a good book.  The more you talk to her when she is emotional, sit on your behind when you know things need to be done around the home, her mind and yours will go places they have never gone before.  Too much of anyone or anything isn't good whether pregnant or not.  Lose the pride, you don't have to win any argument--leave her alone for awhile.  Offer to do some things around the place if she doesn't mind--some pregnant women might have issues with the way their mates do things.  You can always put your headphones on and watch TV or listen to music to avoid issues before they begin.  Mind your own business or care for children if you already have a couple.  Take them out of the home and let them run and rip in the park or elsewhere instead of keeping them around their mother when you know she is having a tough time.

3.  Weird things happen with her body, so when she isn't in the mood for a little affection and whatever else, be understanding.  Exercise some self control and focus on the fact you are both having a child.  Learn that your needs will not always be top priority anymore.  Distract yourself by doing some things that will keep you out of trouble.  Chatting with hot chics, talking about them to a woman who already has issues with her increasing weight, or acting more interested in every female but your pregnant partner will only cause more problems for you.  Think about your future child and what kind of example you are setting for him or her.  Cheating and lying will cause confusion and stress on the baby.  Most women sense when their men just aren't being truthful about their whereabouts and with who they were spending time.

4.  Don't be surprised if she or you becomes verbally or physically abusive especially if you are still using recreational drugs, drinking alcohol or smoking.  Mind-altering substances do impact the relationship.  In addition, if there is no healthy outlet for stress, an unsupportive network of family and friends, and other issues, you or she might be tempted to cross the line.  Notice what your trigger buttons are and avoid the drama by focusing on doing things that are positive, peaceful, and prosperous.  Get another job if you feel the need rather than complain about money.  Schedule some extracurricular activities if need be.  Attend church services.  Converse with your partner about how you feel.  Recognize the fact that she is changing and she just might not return to that person you once fell in love with.  Share your experiences with the family physician during the next prenatal appointment.  The doctor might be able to determine what is wrong with you and your partner or provide a resource.

5.  You aren't the only person who doesn't understand or like all that comes with your pregnant mate.  Chances are co-workers and relatives noticed changes too.  However, a family gossip session isn't going to help matters.  Stay loyal to your partner and offer to help her cope.  Maybe she needs bigger clothes, a place to rest her swollen feet, favorite snacks, help with chores and children, time off from work, etc. whatever the issues, address them in kind and loving ways.  If things are a bit too much and you simply can't handle the hormonal woman, then don't beat yourself or her up about it.  Speak with a doctor or therapist on or offline.  If you aren't mentally strong yourself, you may have to consider time away so that you can get your head together before the baby is born.  There may be some opposition about your decision coming from family and friends, but it is always better to leave than to stay and abuse.  If you are having crazy or dark thoughts, you can always express your concern for her safety and baby and then seek professional assistance on your own.

To all the men who read this, stay strong and God bless.  To the women who care about them and others, spread this message.  Keep the faith and always think about the well-being of your offspring when it comes to making major life decisions.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.   

Parenting isn't All Serious

Sometimes just sharing those minor irritations about your children end up being funny.  Laugh at those moments, because before you know it, they will be grown and might be laughing at elderly you.  See slideshow.

Teach Teens How to Make Financial Contributions to the Household

If you have teenagers, then you know how much time they spend doing all sorts of activities and none of them are income producing.  So with that said, if money is short in your home, there are websites that do welcome the 13 and older crowd, 16 year old participants and adults.  Listen to audio, perform searches and do check the description box of the YouTube box, it is extensive!

Rules for Dating My Daughter

One thing fathers are tempted to do when they have daughters is act overly strict.  Sooner or later one's child will end up doing everything you didn't want just because you were over-the-top.  We applaud Strong and Silent Dad, but we worry how much further will he go.  See here.   

Unexpected Emotions, Family Trials - It's All Good

Nothing could have prepared me for the many emotions that come with being a parent.  Sudden tears, worries, stress, and more.  I didn't anticipate the many financial, career, and location sacrifices I would have had to make.  No one told me about those times when you ponder divorcing a partner just because he or she acts more concerned about everyone else, but you.  Oh yes, there are challenges and if someone says anything different, pardon my harsh words, but he or she doesn't know what the hell they are talking about!

God and I became good friends before, during and after children came along.  I was a fool to think that many years prior I could have children one day without the need of God.  Have you ever had a difficult pregnancy, held a sick child in your hands, or see kids almost get hit by cars?  If you didn't have a faith, you sure got one!  Spiritual people are your best friends when you know your child is going through much.  They are saying things like, "I am praying for your family...I bind Satan's evil schemes...I know God is watching over your family...He told me to tell you this..."

As much as it all seems so common, routine, and unexciting about family at times, it is still a beautiful experience.  You and a partner were chosen to bring life into this world such a great achievement!  Your children will potentially be there for you (if you did right by them) when you are struggling with illnesses.  They may have your back when your loved ones and friends turn their backs on you.  Don't sleep on your intermediate loved ones!  You gave up much for partner and children, you may not have liked them or their ways, and there may have been moments where you felt you were losing your mind, yet you still have a capacity to love, so embrace it!  Those warm, fuzzy feelings, those acts of kindness, and those wonderful scenes that make you think, "What is wrong with me?"  Oh, the joy of love! 

No one could have prepared you for the love that you have inside for your family.  The cheers, sweet memories, funny stuff, and more.  You didn't anticipate those good times when you cried happy tears because you got blessed as a result of having children, relocated to a bigger and better place, and made a satisfying career change.  No one told me about those times when you ponder staying with a partner because you love him or her too much to let this special person go and you don't want to upset your children because you love them too.  Oh yes, there are easy-going days and if someone says anything different, pardon my harsh words, then there is a hell on earth and beyond for him or her.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic and other books.  

How to Get a Newborn to Latch

The Secret is Out - Some Parents Just Didn't Want Any Kids

In a society that has numerous family photos on and offline of happy parents with cute children, feature stories in media about kids, and family members who pressure newlyweds, "When are you going to have children, it isn't any wonder why so many couples are brainwashed into having kids even when they really know deep down inside they never really wanted any.

When we think of those who say, "I don't want kids," some of us parents will immediately judge them, others will think there is something wrong with singles, and then there are those who will respect couples' wishes and change the subject.  But isn't there a secret with some critical parents, the kind that they don't want to admit to, they really didn't want children, or let's just put it this way, they just weren't ready for them.

I candidly admitted in my book, When Mothers Cry, that I didn't want children, but I ended up with four handsome guys who sincerely did bring out the best (and at times worse) in me.  As a little girl, I knew that being a mom was not what I wanted.  But after a couple of decades of experiencing societal pressure on "...one day having your own family..." and thoughts of "Maybe one day..." coming in and out of my head, babies came before I could say, "Sure, this is what I want."

So if you are experiencing the parental blues, just know that you aren't alone.  You might want to examine those relationships you have with others especially if the couples don't have children or their children have long left the nest.  Sometimes those temporal feelings of "I wish I didn't have kids..." can really wear you down because you have connected with people that don't necessarily make you feel good about being a parent.  Also, when you are burned out with children, you will find yourself resenting being a parent, so take a break, share your concerns with someone or group that can help and most of all pray!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.

Mean Grandmother, Scapegoat and Golden Child - Tell Me Mother You're Sor...

Don't Coddle Your Teen - So What About that Attitude!

They will eye roll, deep sigh, answer you with "...that tone," and do other things that will annoy you, but stay cool Mom and Dad!  This too shall pass.  Just think parents, they will have to deal with your menopause and andropause one day, if not already (sigh).  Anyway, what is it that we might be doing to coddle these moody teens and how can we avoid hurting them in the process.

1.  We promise to buy them whatever they ask for.

Whether you have the money now or later, is it really necessary to say one thing and then later do another?  The teen is watching and no wonder they don't believe you will do anything that you say.  

2.  We don't talk to them about getting a job and making money now rather than later.

As long as you are cheering on the sidelines when they run, bounce, or throw a ball for free, then why should they work?  There is only so much time after school and on weekends.  What are they doing this summer?

3.  We assume that we will be paying for college.

As if there are no other alternatives? Why encourage debt that you know you have no intention of helping them pay off balances.  Notice I said, pay off, not carry balances.  If you can't afford college, say so.  Now redirect them toward more practical choices.  They will thank you later when they see their friends are swimming in debt, can't own a house, have children, and don't know if they will have enough money next month to pay for groceries.

4.  We believe that they will be alright even when the signs are saying otherwise.

Every parent wants to believe that their children will be a success in life.  But the truth is, how much time, money and energy are you investing in that mind, body and soul of your teen?  You see something isn't right, you get professional help.

5.  We enlist the help of others to aid in spoiling them.

Just because you have child-free relatives doesn't mean they are willing to help.  Not all grandparents enjoy having children around often.  So is it worth getting the good, bad, and ugly on board to spoil your child?  It all might come back to haunt you later.

6.  We let them stay in rooms for hours without speaking to them and then complain about them not speaking much or acting interested in the family.

Make up your mind on what you want to do.  There is a season for everything.  Remember those times when you couldn't wait until they grew up and stopped following you around the house?  Well those times are here, enjoy them. 

7.  We are not willing to compromise on the things that are important to them.

They have their lives, we have ours.  If the teen likes something that isn't harmful and may not be something you like, why discourage him or her?  Who knows, that just might be the calling on their life you asked God about. 

Guide your teen, don't control him or her.  A lesson we are all learning.  God bless you for reading.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.

Tantrums, Bedtime, "Daddy Time" & More! THE MOMMY TIPS TAG

Baby Anticipation...Some Things to Put in Perspective

For those who are thinking about having a baby and those who are watching the calendar ever so closely until it's time for delivery, you just might want to go down the checklist of your mind on what your needs are, your partner's, and of course the baby's.  Things might look a bit different since the last time you thought about certain things related to having a baby.

You have heard and witnessed how things change in relationships, on the job, and in other ways once babies are here.  As much as one would like to think things won't change much, they will greatly sooner or later.  So let's go down a mental checklist of how you might be feeling and what more you need to be doing before baby is arrives.

1.  If you aren't a parent yet, then don't rush it.  Sure, the pressure will be on if you are with someone who really wants a baby, but you know what is happening in your life right now and if the idea of having a baby is really grating on your nerves (or your partner's), don't agree to bring one into the world half-heartedly.  Protect yourself or you will be surprised one day whether you or your lover is ready or not!

2.  If you are already pregnant and awaiting the arrival, take it easy.  There is nothing to worry about because even if you messed up badly (bad selection in a mate, became ill due to not following doctor's orders, got into an accident, hurt yourself, baby issues...) and you felt the world was coming to an end, there will always be someone somewhere willing to help clean your mistakes up.  Reach out for help whatever the issue.  The worse thing you can do is keep secrets and wish later you hadn't.

3.  There will be those who will be supportive of whatever you do and others who won't.  Whatever your actions or inactions, you have to know who is friend and who is foe in your circle.  Keep those who stand by you close and others who are against you distant.  Don't reveal so much about your baby related thoughts especially when you aren't completely confident within.

4.  Don't make yourself love someone who doesn't love, respect and appreciate you.  Sometimes the dynamics of relationships change drastically when babies show up.  You might feel unloved, devalued, and more, when this happens, think strongly about living with a partner.  It will be stressful enough caring for a child (middle of the night wake up routines, money challenges, relatives and friends wanting to visit, job wanting you to come back soon...), so the last thing you need is an immature partner causing you additional stress.

5. Are the finances in order?  If not, re-evaluate you and your spending habits.  Your money is not your own exclusively.  You and your partner will have to set aside funds for those unexpected baby needs (like those hospital pictures for starters).  You will also want to research anything you didn't get during your baby shower (that is if you had one or are planning to have one) things like: maternity leave, health insurance for you and the baby, local childcare, diaper prices, lowest formula prices, clothing, cribs, baby changing tables, garbage pails, dressers, clothing, etc.

6.  Family and friends will want to know what is going on with baby plans or your baby's arrival.  Sometimes they can be pushy about things like:  wanting private information regarding baby thoughts, wanting to see the baby, helping you, getting your partner to be more engaging, etc.  Be prepared for the odd things some loved ones say and do.  Keep those you simply don't like or get along with distant if you don't want to have a major falling out with them.

7.  Be sure that you are in the know when it comes to the hospital procedures related to pregnancy, what is expected on the day of delivery, and more.  If you have yet to take any classes or read any books about pregnancy and baby milestones, start educating yourself.  There is always something new to learn.

Having a baby or planning to have one is a life-changing experience and you will want to do your best to think positively, but also anticipate the disappointments as well.  Sometimes things don't go as planned.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

Pushy Teachers - Parents Push Back

Pushy Teachers - Parents Push Back

In the above article, Nicholl, author of When Mothers Cry, noticed that there are some educators that are just as bad as controlling family members.  The kind of teachers that just don't want to take, "No" for an answer.  When you come across teachers like this, treat them like you do some of those relatives you don't like, distance yourself.  Sure, your child has to deal with them, but you don't have to.  Cut off time and money and if your child complains about the teacher wronging them, it's time to see his or her boss and other school officials.

On Being Kind to the Child-free

With so much fuss about your own children, sometimes parents can act like everyone is a parent especially if they see an overweight man or woman near a child.  Comments like, "These kids nowadays...You know how children can be...So how many children do you have?" can be off-putting with some child-free men and women.  Assuming everyone can related to one's parenting situation is often done, and it can also lead to unnecessary confusion especially when you mistakenly ask the opinion of someone who has never had children while they attempt to answer it.

Child-free adults either made their choice to remain child-less or it was made for them due to health issues.  But whatever the issue as to why they don't have children, it should have little to do with us and we should avoid the temptation to encourage or discourage raising children.  It is difficult enough to parent children, so why bother to ponder "the why" with someone who remains child-free?

Being understanding and kind toward those with no children is important when they are in our circles, sitting at our dinner tables, or seated next to us at events.  It is always better to have a conversation that both can relate to rather than one that doesn't suit someone's lifestyle.  It also doesn't make much sense to insult either child-free or a parent, because neither knows when they might be beneficial to one another.

There are pros and cons when it comes to being a parent and positives and negatives when one doesn't have children.  Most of us have been on both sides and sometimes we wish to go back to the child-free days.  Yet, we can't, so we keep on living, teaching, and growing and hopefully when the days finally come that we are free from child-rearing, we will appreciate that lifestyle a little more than we had in the past.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel:  nmenterprise7.

5 Things You Will Regret About Parenting If You Don't Get it Right Now

Parents who died with many regrets are buried six feet deep.  They didn't get it right while they lived no matter what nice things a pastor said about them.  But you are alive and you still have time to get it right with your partner and children!  Don't die with regrets, do what you can to parent children effectively and (God willing) they will thank you for your efforts later in life especially when they have their own children.  Also, consider what a partner is telling you when it comes to parenting, not as disrespectful criticism, but as wise counsel.

So what might some parents being doing wrong right now?

1.  Not spending enough time teaching children quality life lessons.

They can only learn but so much from television, educational devices, peers, teachers, and other relatives, but what about you?  What have you shared with your children today to help them do well in school, stand up for themselves, get along with others, maintain a clean and organized atmosphere, and plan for the future?

2.  Forgetting to note or record moving memories.

The action, image, or interesting thing a child says is right there and you did nothing.  You didn't even bother to recreate the moment.  Value it!  Most likely, what moves you now will move you later in life and who knows, be a life lesson for your son or daughter during a challenging time.  So have your recording device ready or jot down what you heard.

3.  Saving money for education or other child-related goals.

You know there are things you want them to do and they have shared with you goals, so what financial backing are you giving them other than lip service?  Don't be upset later in life when they aren't giving their all to something or forgot about dreams, you didn't pay for them!  You were too busy to research, and you didn't bother to network with others.  Parents and children that are above average go beyond daily responsibilities and find out what path they can put children on that will help them achieve personal goals while being productive members of society.  What could you put in the Google search engine this day that will help direct you and your children?   

4.  Establishing healthy partnerships with extended relatives.

So many parents overlook those relatives who are not in their circles.  There are second and third cousins, great aunts and uncles, and other family members who just might add value to your children's upbringing, yet you don't bother.  A simple letter with a photo will get a relationship going.  Attending a celebration or family reunion will build new connections.  These days DNA analysis will also help bridge gaps since Ancestry.com will connect you with relatives you didn't even know you had.  There is also Facebook too.  So look beyond your circle, not everyone is bad in your family, in the exes, on your mom or dad's side, and others!

5.  Showing love, kindness, generosity, and patience on a consistent basis.

Days will come and go some good, some bad.  You will need to discipline, correct, admonish, and more in your household.  However, your teachings will go a long way when you are loving, kind, and patient.  You will also need to be generous especially during times when the world has treated partner and children unkind.  Practice healthy ways of expressing love in your household and you will get it back sooner or later.  However, walk around with an iron fist and one day, everyone will want to overthrow the king or queen.  You might feel like everyone is against you now, think about what you are saying and doing to the relatives for them to want to build a coup against you.

There have been many generations blessed over the years because families put differences aside and they worked together.  They made right connections and severed the toxic ones.  They focused on achieving goals and did what they could to make family work.  If you love your family, you will do what you can to bring peace to your home.  It would be a pity to have such wisdom, but do nothing and end up on a death bed full of regrets, don't let this happen to you!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

Charting Your Child's Progress Doesn't Stop

When you are a new parent, you are provided with various tips and free calendars to help with charting your baby's progress  You watch his or her reach milestones and you are pleased with each accomplishment.  But tracking your child's progress really doesn't stop after baby and toddler years.  From the school testing him or her on skills to relatives watching your child's manners, he or she is still growing and developing right in front of your eyes and these achievements are worth noting.

You can stay one step ahead by video taping the things that he or she does.  We aren't talking about the typical, "Hi...say your name, what are you doing?" kind of videos.  But those where you are watching the child create, imagine, interview, build, and engage with others and use equipment. These detailed videos go a long way.  If something should occur in the future where you might need those images, your child's actions or in-actions in the videos will tell not just his or her story but yours as well.

Consider this, a couple divorces and there are some issues that arise about the child's environment, well-being, etc.  If each visit is documented, it will be hard to prove that the child is in a bad atmosphere, has nothing to play with and isn't well fed, or in clean clothes.  Show off the child's environment, what they do, how they feel etc. let the video do the talking without you prompting the child to say this or do that.

When it comes to education, it is always good to show your child's progress at home.  There are numerous games that will help parent's track quizzes and tests after a game is played.  You can also sit down and journal what your child is saying about his or her day and compare some of what he or she says to what the teacher says during the parent child conference.

It is always fun to discover more about your child.  Time goes by so quickly, before you know it, he or she will be videotaping their own children's progress.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.   

What is the Most Important Thing You Need to Know About Parenting Children?

They aren't yours to keep.  You train them, you enlist the help of others, and then you send them on their way.  If you can do this without being controlling, manipulative and abusive, then consider yourself a decent parent once the child becomes a man or woman.  Hopefully, they will thank you one day for your service.

Nicholl McGuire

Treasure Your Children's School Projects - Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day and others

They are getting older quickly, your children will one day be men and women working and raising children of their own.  The significance of cherishing quality memories will go a long way especially when they have their own children and will look to mom and dad for insight.

Imagine taking out a drawing they have made and using that to illustrate a life lesson years from now. Children are very creative and can sometimes predict the future in their artwork.  Treasure those drawings they spent much time creating particularly the ones that are evident they are sharing thought-provoking messages and that spiritually move you.

Those sweet Valentine's Day cards, creative Mother's day gifts and funny Father's day images of dad will warm your heart every time you see them.  They will also help you recall those innocent times before hearts were broken, death shook them, and beloved things are no more.  Children's personalities change with each issue they face and so does their inspiration to create.

Enjoy those fun things they design, put them in a safe place, and be prepared to take them back out later in life!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube Channel: nmenterprise7.

Frequent Fussy Baby? Your Daily Baby Plan - Create It!

Everyday doesn't have to be drastically different than the last.  Sure, things will come up, but some part of the day should be routine when it comes to caring for your babies and toddlers.

Let's say that you have been to the doctor's with your baby and all is normal.  Yet, you notice your baby is often fussy at home.  It seems no matter what you do, there is an issue.  Now keep in mind, no two babies are a like.  Maybe your friend who also has that issue discovered it was something she was giving her baby and maybe another friend learned that the home environment was a cause of her baby often crying.  Sometimes there is no serious issue causing the fussy behavior, but what about the baby's routine or lack thereof?

Studies have shown that babies and children do quite well in routines.  Their expectation of when they will be fed, what typically happens in a day, and other things, makes them easier to manage.  In addition, you are better able to control your day. 

For instance, if your child typically eats at a certain time in the morning, but then for the next three days you were to feed him or her during the afternoon, what do you think will happen?  The child will become more fussy, irritable, and might possibly develop a health issue like gas.  But when the expectation is that he or she will eat at XYZ time, the baby is better able to handle his or her emotions because the little person knows the food is coming.

Sometimes parents get caught up in so many activities that they forget to look at the clock; therefore, it seems as if the day is going downhill.  However, no worries!  Even though you can't get the time back, you can slow things down or cut certain tasks out particularly when you have a fussy baby.  It is better to do that then to have to contend with whining, tantrums, and more especially in public!

If you don't have a baby plan, create one!  It is real simple and there are many calendars, tools, schedules, and more to help you.  Your baby plan is a guide that helps you stay on track with your child's activities during the day.  You list what you typically do, include times that you do it, and hang it up on a refrigerator or somewhere in your home that others can see.  This way, if you keep to the schedule, others who might have to watch your child will have no problem picking up where you left off.  Be sure to include things like: meal times, menus, diaper changing times, bath times, reading, swing time, floor play, etc.  By the week's end, review your schedule, if you keep to it, you might learn what patterns that might be contributing to your baby's fussy behavior.  For instance, I learned years ago that I wasn't changing my baby's diaper enough--go figure!?

May your days be well-planned and your baby less fussy!

Nicholl McGuire 

Childbirth - Not Every Mom Achieves This and Remains "Normal"

Ever wonder why some moms do the evil things they do to spouses and children after giving birth whether days or years ago? 

From bad-mouthing to deliberately doing deeds that put them in jail or six feet deep, for some moms their minds and bodies have been pushed beyond limits during childbirth.  Sooner or later their atmospheres are forever changed and so are their thoughts.  The idea of having a baby isn't as nice as it once was.  The relationship with a partner is much different and what one thought was love really wasn't.  Money woes push a new mother back to work before her mind can catch up. 

Personality disorders, anger outbursts, forgetfulness, hormonal challenges, sudden pain, decrease interest in sex, and more are experienced since having a baby or babies.  All of these issues tend to increase after putting the body through conception, pregnancy, delivery, recovery, and back to monthly menstrual cycles, perimenopause or menopause.  With so much happening with a new or old mother's mind, body and spirit, it isn't any wonder why so many women "lose it," so to speak. 

With childbirth occurring every moment of everyday around the world, many moms have smooth deliveries and short post-partum blues (or no problems at all); therefore, people don't think too much about the long-lasting effects as a result of childbirth related surgeries, emotional issues, and physical challenges.  Instead, the focus is on the new baby and his or her needs.  Meanwhile, mom is trying to get her mind and body back in shape, but one or both don't always come together as planned.

Typically a mother doesn't notice subtle changes in her personality, discerning people around her might have to point those differences out and encourage her to get help.  Yet, those who are not interested, empathetic, or concerned about mom and baby, will brush off whatever negative she has said and done.  They will simply ignore the signs and act as if what they saw or heard concerning that mother isn't very serious.  But once something bad happens and police are called, now relatives, friends and neighbors want to pay attention.  It could very well be too late by then.

Partners are usually the first to notice something isn't quite right with mom since giving birth, but usually don't say much or will argue.  Some, who are ill-equipped to handle a mother, will sweep things under the rug, pray about them, or ignore her cries.  When the writing is on the wall, read it!  Many negative scenarios between moms and children could have been prevented if people would have just taken notice when the mom was obviously showing signs she was overwhelmed.

When a mother is very young, barely old enough to take care of herself much less a child, why would anyone assume that her mind and body would be able to handle the demands of a baby upon delivery?  Yet, those who are disappointed that the poor child got pregnant in the first place will not be supportive.  The baby is her responsibility and she best take care of him or her or else face the wrath of a parent.

Childbirth trauma is a serious issue that doesn't just last within a seven day period after delivery, but goes on for months even years for many teens and women.  The stress of having to parent children for as long as they live under one's roof, increases over time depending on the age and health of the child. 

For many ladies, there is no break, no support system willing to watch children, no money to pay for help, etc. When there is no peace in an atmosphere that might not be even large enough to accommodate a family, there will be problems for mom.  She will feel as if she is going out of her mind.  Those observing her might notice the change within her, but then again, maybe not.  Seek counsel for whatever the issues and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of children.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry   

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