Relationship
Set aside one-on-time to discuss school and other personal concerns.
Plan an activity with each individual child to help with better communication and fostering great relationships with others.
Note: Be sure that family time doesn't suffocate marital relationship. Set agreed upon date nights.
GOAL: To help them become the kind of men who value others thoughts/opinions/actions and develop positive feelings within for self. Be good!
Work Ethic
Set aside specific day and time to perform chores (daily, weekly and monthly).
Implement chores, follow-up. Preach consistency and taking their time to do a good job!
When chores are incomplete, no rewards until they are completed and well.
GOAL: To be future managers and employees who perform well for employers and take pride in their work.
Education
Notice the schoolwork they are bringing home. See weaknesses and successes. Plan to assist with areas they are falling short. School break time reserved for practicing, problem-solving and studying at least 30 minutes to an hour each day. Underperforming? No gaming, play dates, television, shopping, movies, etc.
GOAL: To help them be good students of life in the future always open to learning more.
Personal Finance
Assist with developing income streams for them such as: freelance work, part-time work, and paid tasks online.
Check in with children regarding how they are handling money. Communicate what money is being used for i.e. chore money is used for upcoming desired school activities and no longer for random toy shopping.
Ask them each time when they receive money where are we putting this? Note: We started off with an envelope system not online or offline bank accounts when they were pre-school age, because I wanted them to feel and see their money. They weren't impressed with viewing money on a computer screen initially.
- Save
- Invest
- Donate
- Spend
GOAL: To be good stewards of their wealth in the future.
Faith
Expose children to healthy spirituality programming based on faith based principles such as: ethics, kindness, charity, love, respect, nature, etc.
GOAL: To understand that they didn't just arrive on this planet, but that their Creator has a purpose and plan for their lives and His will is centered on good morals and other wisdom.
Friendship
Teach them how to discern healthy and unhealthy friendships. Check in with them about new friends.
GOAL: To establish healthy boundaries with all people and most of all to be a good friend!
Personal hygiene and other related health topics
Pay attention to how they look, smell, eat, etc. Share knowledge and watch to see if they are performing good practices. Note: Exercise, medicine, vitamins, doctor's appointments, and more were also valuable topics we shared our thoughts about.
GOAL: To be conscience of their body and not let it be a problem later for themselves as well as others. Note: The boys thought these discussions were fun and they had many laughs but they learned!
Ask yourself, "Have I discussed X topic? Have we set a timeline to complete a task, goals to achieve...? Have I listened and shared a follow up date? Have I met their needs?
End result: Are the children meeting goals? Are they displaying a better attitude? Is there something more serious going on that requires a medical appointment, correspondence with their educators, talk with the other parent or relatives, or a meeting with a friend's mom or dad?
Note your findings and jot down other goals that come to mind. Check back in a month or so to see if things are better.
I spent many years setting up "school time" from home and family meetings up to four hours long with various activities for them to perform. Two out of the four boys are young adults now and have various income streams as well as a life outside of work from reading to attending special events. They are described by those who come in contact with them to be: polite, respectful, and hard workers. It helps to be a strong disciplinarian and have an agreeing partner when they fall short of goals. I hope this inspires you to be the best parent you possibly can, you can do it!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, What Else Can I Do on the Internet? and many other books. She is also the owner of this blog.
