Childbirth - Not Every Mom Achieves This and Remains "Normal"

Ever wonder why some moms do the evil things they do to spouses and children after giving birth whether days or years ago? 

From bad-mouthing to deliberately doing deeds that put them in jail or six feet deep, for some moms their minds and bodies have been pushed beyond limits during childbirth.  Sooner or later their atmospheres are forever changed and so are their thoughts.  The idea of having a baby isn't as nice as it once was.  The relationship with a partner is much different and what one thought was love really wasn't.  Money woes push a new mother back to work before her mind can catch up. 

Personality disorders, anger outbursts, forgetfulness, hormonal challenges, sudden pain, decrease interest in sex, and more are experienced since having a baby or babies.  All of these issues tend to increase after putting the body through conception, pregnancy, delivery, recovery, and back to monthly menstrual cycles, perimenopause or menopause.  With so much happening with a new or old mother's mind, body and spirit, it isn't any wonder why so many women "lose it," so to speak. 

With childbirth occurring every moment of everyday around the world, many moms have smooth deliveries and short post-partum blues (or no problems at all); therefore, people don't think too much about the long-lasting effects as a result of childbirth related surgeries, emotional issues, and physical challenges.  Instead, the focus is on the new baby and his or her needs.  Meanwhile, mom is trying to get her mind and body back in shape, but one or both don't always come together as planned.

Typically a mother doesn't notice subtle changes in her personality, discerning people around her might have to point those differences out and encourage her to get help.  Yet, those who are not interested, empathetic, or concerned about mom and baby, will brush off whatever negative she has said and done.  They will simply ignore the signs and act as if what they saw or heard concerning that mother isn't very serious.  But once something bad happens and police are called, now relatives, friends and neighbors want to pay attention.  It could very well be too late by then.

Partners are usually the first to notice something isn't quite right with mom since giving birth, but usually don't say much or will argue.  Some, who are ill-equipped to handle a mother, will sweep things under the rug, pray about them, or ignore her cries.  When the writing is on the wall, read it!  Many negative scenarios between moms and children could have been prevented if people would have just taken notice when the mom was obviously showing signs she was overwhelmed.

When a mother is very young, barely old enough to take care of herself much less a child, why would anyone assume that her mind and body would be able to handle the demands of a baby upon delivery?  Yet, those who are disappointed that the poor child got pregnant in the first place will not be supportive.  The baby is her responsibility and she best take care of him or her or else face the wrath of a parent.

Childbirth trauma is a serious issue that doesn't just last within a seven day period after delivery, but goes on for months even years for many teens and women.  The stress of having to parent children for as long as they live under one's roof, increases over time depending on the age and health of the child. 

For many ladies, there is no break, no support system willing to watch children, no money to pay for help, etc. When there is no peace in an atmosphere that might not be even large enough to accommodate a family, there will be problems for mom.  She will feel as if she is going out of her mind.  Those observing her might notice the change within her, but then again, maybe not.  Seek counsel for whatever the issues and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of children.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry   

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