Showing posts with label teach children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teach children. Show all posts
When to Stop Doing So Much for Children?
As a parent, you will know when it is time to pull back from giving children so much when you realize they can do some things on their own. When I finally came to the revelation that I could encourage my sons to be more responsible is when I couldn't do everything for them. From stomach cramps to headaches, there are those times when mom is not going to be able to stand on her feet to cook, clean, wash dishes, take out the trash, and do other things. So it was then that I thought, these boys can do something to help out around our residence from the toddler to the tween back in 2011.
In time, I found other things they could do even when I wasn't sick. I taught the little ones how to fold clothes, get a snack out for themselves, and I showed the older ones how to wipe down walls and cabinets, run the vacuums, dust, microwave a meal, and keep the younger ones entertained. They know how to do far more than what is listed, but this was my start at teaching them responsibility as well as earning money and other things they wanted. To date, the older ones are very independent, the younger ones are getting there, but sometimes dad sets them back especially when, "I don't want to..." followed with a crying outburst comes from them.
I understand that some parents want to keep children young forever, but the time will be here before you know it when you will cry out, "Is there anything you can do for yourself?" Start directing your children on that independent path for their own survival. We parents are just not promised to be here tomorrow. So do remember that the next time you attempt to do something for your child that he or she is perfectly capable of doing themselves.
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual messages to inspire on YouTube.
In time, I found other things they could do even when I wasn't sick. I taught the little ones how to fold clothes, get a snack out for themselves, and I showed the older ones how to wipe down walls and cabinets, run the vacuums, dust, microwave a meal, and keep the younger ones entertained. They know how to do far more than what is listed, but this was my start at teaching them responsibility as well as earning money and other things they wanted. To date, the older ones are very independent, the younger ones are getting there, but sometimes dad sets them back especially when, "I don't want to..." followed with a crying outburst comes from them.
I understand that some parents want to keep children young forever, but the time will be here before you know it when you will cry out, "Is there anything you can do for yourself?" Start directing your children on that independent path for their own survival. We parents are just not promised to be here tomorrow. So do remember that the next time you attempt to do something for your child that he or she is perfectly capable of doing themselves.
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual messages to inspire on YouTube.
Household Chores You Can Teach Children
There are adults who don’t use common sense when it comes to operating certain equipment; could it be that these irresponsible, accident prone adults were never shown how to do anything by their parents? Well you don’t have to be that way; here are some great teaching tools to help your child help you get some household chores done. If you have noticed your child can’t carry a cup across the floor without spilling it, then he may be too young to take on these responsibilities. Teach him or her how to master the spills first, before beginning these tasks.
The ideas following will not mention using the stove simply because it can be a bit intimidating for a small child. So I am sticking with the fun items they usually see on those infomercials on the weekends.
Handheld and Regular Vacuum
Now I must admit I have had my children using these since they were two. I think it makes them responsible for their messes. Why should I have to vacuum the crumbs out the chairs with the handheld vacuum? Then moments later I have to vacuum more crumbs that have fallen to the floor. One time I counted almost five times in one day cleaning behind my four little boys who rushed to eat at the dining room table back in the summer and then rushed off. Instead of making it an occasional chore, it was one of the main chores on the 7 and 8 year olds list. Now the two year old is using the As Seen on TV Cordless Sweeper to clean up his mess.
Steam mop
Now I can tell you that this is an absolute blessing! I am not dumping buckets of water in the toilet. Nor, am I wringing out a dirty mop. So I thought if it is this easy for me, surely we can let the kids in on it. They were happy to use it since they saw it on TV. They just press a button to let out some water, let off it when you have your desired amount and let the steam work its magic. They were glad to see the steam mop because they knew that would be more money for them.
Toaster
Now the toaster is absolutely my very best friend on those days with the children want to get up before the birds chirp. I tell them, “Grab a piece of fruit out of the fridge and drop some toast in the toaster!” They have been dropping toast in the toaster since 5 years along with making their own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Bathroom Wipes
Now these are a godsend! You strap those little hands with some gloves give them some wipes and tell them, “Just like I use to wipe your butt when you had poop on it, I want you to wipe the toilet seat first, then throw it away, get a fresh wipe and clean the sink, another for the counter top, and another for all the knobs in the bathroom.” You see that is a start, then when their arms get a little longer or you can do like I did since I couldn’t wait for their arms to get any longer, I bought a squeegee, you know that handy tool that you use to clean your windows at the gas station, and I showed them how to clean the tiled walls, the glass door, and tubs with it. It’s fun for them and another great time saver for me.
Now I have no problem giving money to my children for household chores that are outside of their room. However, chores within their rooms are not up for pay. It is automatically expected that at least once a week, they should be checking their room for anything that needs to be thrown out, vacuumed, donated, dusted, and more.
Dusting
The children do help with the dusting. They will come and tell me sometimes when they see dust and ask me, “Can I get an old rag and wipe that off?” They don’t have to ask me twice, “Sure and here’s a dollar or two because I didn’t have to ask you.”
Laundry, Fold Clothes and Put Them Away
I personally knew how to wash clothes at a very young age and I will tell you I remember it was scary in the basement, but it was a comfort to put those clothes in the machine and turn it on. There was something about turning on the machine that killed that eerie silence in the basement. But I digress, so what have I been doing lately to get them ready for this chore is what I call “The Monkey See, Monkey Do” principal. It pretty much goes like this, “Watch what I use, how I measure, and where I place things.” They no to check every pocket before they put something in the laundry and then recheck before the clothes go in the machine. Now the dryer is a little bit tricky because they have to remember to clean the lint tray before (in case someone forgot) and then after. They also have to learn how to feel around to be sure all clothes are dry. That’s it. So sooner or later I will be able to trust them to do it all by themselves.
Now other things I plan to show them in the future is Dishwasher Loading and Hand Washing Dishes 101, Stovetop Cooking 102 (the oldest knows how to scramble eggs), and I’m sure if they spend any length of time with other members of the family they will be learning, Gardening 101, Cutting Grass 101, and “Could you help me pick up my tools?” 501, oh that’s me. I grew up with the landscaping classes and I hate them.
You see when you have a house with more than one child, you need to start putting the children who are old enough to turn on the television, pick up the remote and select their favorite show, to work. Too many mothers are absolutely burnt out because their man isn’t cleaning, the children aren’t cleaning, and anyone who doesn’t live there isn’t offering to help. She has to be the one to put the dishes away, tend to the little ones, cook, do laundry, and so on and so forth while everyone else is usually seated in front of the idiot box watching the game. I think not! Everyone has a weekly chore or two or three to do in my house.
So how do you get these folks to participate? You manage to get the older children to do things by reminding them about what is in your wallet. If you have taught them well about the power of money, then they will be more than happy to help out. You get the preschoolers to work by reminding them of that toy they saw on TV, the favorite snack they want, or some other thing they absolutely love. As for the husband, well you know if you come to bed exhausted enough, then he will see a pattern and start pitching in or making them help (if you have a lazy child or two) because he is missing out on the things he wants too! Know what I mean!? It takes some training, but once the children see you aren’t a wishy-washy parent --you mean what you say, and your spouse sees that you can really use the help; they will all respect you and do their chores. Otherwise, you can always go on a long vacation.
How to Determine Whether Keeping the Children After a Separation or Divorce is the Best Thing to Do
You have successfully ended the relationship with the mother or father of your children. It was successful for many of you reading this article, because you no longer have to subject your children to the screaming matches, fighting, or unexplained tension in the air. Yet, having accomplished this feat there is still another battle looming and that is making the decision to fight for the children in court.
Many parents think they are exceptional in raising their children; however, thinking and actually doing are two different subject areas. If you are completely honest with yourself, you know what is best for the children. The following advice will help you confirm whether keeping the children or arranging visitation is best for you and the family.
Do you have mental problems and/or battling with substance abuse? Whether you are undergoing treatment or are quietly struggling with your demons, you need to think of how the stress of raising your children may affect you. The reality is that your burdens will not get any lighter keeping the children. If anything they will become heavy, very heavy. Reflect on how their negative behavior impacted you during the marriage and how both you and your spouse handled the children when these issues arose. Know what you can tolerate and honestly look at how you do or don't discipline your children. Read about parenting issues and seek counseling for the things you don't understand.
How would you rate your finances on a five-point scale? If managing your finances is not one of your strong suits than consider getting counseling. Raising children requires skillful budgeting if you want them to have a great future. Know how to save emergency money, funds for education, clothes and shoes, food, and shelter.
Do you have a stable employment history? If not, then now is the time to consider creating one. No judge will award children to someone who can't keep a job.
Do you plan on relocating? When you plan on keeping children, you also have to consider that you will not be moving anytime soon as well if they are already enrolled in school. Relocating is difficult for all parties involved and children don't always do well when they have to adjust to a new environment and develop new friends.
How is the school district where you live as compared to the one your former spouse lives in? Know what the educational system in your area has to offer. Low school test scores, inadequate funding for books and extracurricular activities, and rising crime are reasons not to take the children unless you plan on relocating.
Do you have a support system? Family, babysitters, childcare, after school programs, church and more are essential in helping your children become productive members in society. Without positive people around them, they will surely get themselves involved with the wrong crowd. Be certain that you can provide them with much needed love and support from the community.
Are you still holding grudges with the former spouse? If past unresolved issues between you and your mate are still affecting you presently, then you will need to find a way to be at peace. If not, your negative influence will rub off on the children resulting in friction between them and their father and mother. No matter how much you think the mother or father needs to be punished for breaking up the marriage, it gives you no right to use the children to get even.
How would people around you describe you? Teaching children requires a high degree of patience, if you know that you can fly off the handle over just waiting in line, then you may want to think strongly about taking on the daily responsibility of caring for the children. Yelling at them for not understanding their homework or punishing them because they can't seem to complete tasks you ask them to do correctly will not help their self esteem in the short term and cause greater distance between you both in the long term. If you find that everyone keeps telling you the same thing about yourself such as "you are so negative. Why must you be so bitter? Why are you so angry all the time?" Be honest with yourself, it is better for the children to visit you until you can put your emotions in check.
Are you really happy about being a parent? The truth of the matter there are many parents who never really accepted the news that they are the proud parent of a child. It bothered them the day they found out they were pregnant and it continues to bother them long after. If you find yourself complaining a lot about your children being a "problem" and they are "keeping you away from achieving your goals," then you do not want to take on the responsibility of caring for them on a regular basis. You will regret it, because you haven't come to terms with the reality that you are a parent.
When no one is looking, how do you really treat your children? Anyone can smile at those around them and brag how much they love their children, but when you are by yourself with your children you know how you can get with them. If you are calling them names, physically assaulting them (we aren't talking spankings either), yell at them often, put off feeding them for long periods of time, leave them home alone knowing you are breaking the law, and dropping them off with whoever you can whenever, then you know that you can't simply handle raising them. Don't make yourself do something you know you aren't equipped to do no matter what anyone tells you. The person who is telling you what to do is most likely unavailable to help you raise the children - do what you know is right and if you know that the other parent can do a better job then let them. Your children will be grateful that you did, rather than take them through unnecessary heartache. In the future, you just may have a greater bond with your children because you made the sacrifice.
For more articles by Nicholl McGuire, Click Here!
Many parents think they are exceptional in raising their children; however, thinking and actually doing are two different subject areas. If you are completely honest with yourself, you know what is best for the children. The following advice will help you confirm whether keeping the children or arranging visitation is best for you and the family.
Do you have mental problems and/or battling with substance abuse? Whether you are undergoing treatment or are quietly struggling with your demons, you need to think of how the stress of raising your children may affect you. The reality is that your burdens will not get any lighter keeping the children. If anything they will become heavy, very heavy. Reflect on how their negative behavior impacted you during the marriage and how both you and your spouse handled the children when these issues arose. Know what you can tolerate and honestly look at how you do or don't discipline your children. Read about parenting issues and seek counseling for the things you don't understand.
How would you rate your finances on a five-point scale? If managing your finances is not one of your strong suits than consider getting counseling. Raising children requires skillful budgeting if you want them to have a great future. Know how to save emergency money, funds for education, clothes and shoes, food, and shelter.
Do you have a stable employment history? If not, then now is the time to consider creating one. No judge will award children to someone who can't keep a job.
Do you plan on relocating? When you plan on keeping children, you also have to consider that you will not be moving anytime soon as well if they are already enrolled in school. Relocating is difficult for all parties involved and children don't always do well when they have to adjust to a new environment and develop new friends.
How is the school district where you live as compared to the one your former spouse lives in? Know what the educational system in your area has to offer. Low school test scores, inadequate funding for books and extracurricular activities, and rising crime are reasons not to take the children unless you plan on relocating.
Do you have a support system? Family, babysitters, childcare, after school programs, church and more are essential in helping your children become productive members in society. Without positive people around them, they will surely get themselves involved with the wrong crowd. Be certain that you can provide them with much needed love and support from the community.
Are you still holding grudges with the former spouse? If past unresolved issues between you and your mate are still affecting you presently, then you will need to find a way to be at peace. If not, your negative influence will rub off on the children resulting in friction between them and their father and mother. No matter how much you think the mother or father needs to be punished for breaking up the marriage, it gives you no right to use the children to get even.
How would people around you describe you? Teaching children requires a high degree of patience, if you know that you can fly off the handle over just waiting in line, then you may want to think strongly about taking on the daily responsibility of caring for the children. Yelling at them for not understanding their homework or punishing them because they can't seem to complete tasks you ask them to do correctly will not help their self esteem in the short term and cause greater distance between you both in the long term. If you find that everyone keeps telling you the same thing about yourself such as "you are so negative. Why must you be so bitter? Why are you so angry all the time?" Be honest with yourself, it is better for the children to visit you until you can put your emotions in check.
Are you really happy about being a parent? The truth of the matter there are many parents who never really accepted the news that they are the proud parent of a child. It bothered them the day they found out they were pregnant and it continues to bother them long after. If you find yourself complaining a lot about your children being a "problem" and they are "keeping you away from achieving your goals," then you do not want to take on the responsibility of caring for them on a regular basis. You will regret it, because you haven't come to terms with the reality that you are a parent.
When no one is looking, how do you really treat your children? Anyone can smile at those around them and brag how much they love their children, but when you are by yourself with your children you know how you can get with them. If you are calling them names, physically assaulting them (we aren't talking spankings either), yell at them often, put off feeding them for long periods of time, leave them home alone knowing you are breaking the law, and dropping them off with whoever you can whenever, then you know that you can't simply handle raising them. Don't make yourself do something you know you aren't equipped to do no matter what anyone tells you. The person who is telling you what to do is most likely unavailable to help you raise the children - do what you know is right and if you know that the other parent can do a better job then let them. Your children will be grateful that you did, rather than take them through unnecessary heartache. In the future, you just may have a greater bond with your children because you made the sacrifice.
For more articles by Nicholl McGuire, Click Here!
Pasadena Mothers' Support Group Holds Open House
he Pasadena Chapter of Mothers & More will hold its annual Open House on Thursday, October 16 from 7:30-9:30 p.m. in the Conference Room (North/ West area of the Parking Lot Level 1) of the Whole Foods Market, 465 South Arroyo Parkway, Pasadena, CA 91105.
The Open House will introduce women to the many services Mothers & More provides. Some of which are: resources designed to raise awareness on societal barriers that hinder a mother's ability to succeed, leadership opportunities, on line forums, and other information. All prospective members may attend with no obligation to join. The event will be held without children and will feature refreshments from Whole Foods Market, door prize giveaways from Dream Dinners and others.
The Pasadena chapter offers two evening meetings a month with topical discussions and/or guest speakers, in addition to moms' nights out, playgroups, book club, opportunities to reach out to other mothers, and other social events and activities. Mothers & More offers a place where mothers can talk honestly about the ups and downs of motherhood and receive the support, friendship and affirmation of their many roles as a mother, a woman, and a unique person.
Serving over 6000 members in the US and beyond, Mothers and More is a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the lives of mothers through support, education, and advocacy. It addresses mothers' needs as individuals and members of society, and promotes the value of all the work mothers do. For more information or to join on line, log onto www.mothersandmore.org.
To learn about the Pasadena chapter of Mothers & More, log on to the chapter website at http://mandmpas.tripod.com or call (866) 206-9068 #3921
The Open House will introduce women to the many services Mothers & More provides. Some of which are: resources designed to raise awareness on societal barriers that hinder a mother's ability to succeed, leadership opportunities, on line forums, and other information. All prospective members may attend with no obligation to join. The event will be held without children and will feature refreshments from Whole Foods Market, door prize giveaways from Dream Dinners and others.
The Pasadena chapter offers two evening meetings a month with topical discussions and/or guest speakers, in addition to moms' nights out, playgroups, book club, opportunities to reach out to other mothers, and other social events and activities. Mothers & More offers a place where mothers can talk honestly about the ups and downs of motherhood and receive the support, friendship and affirmation of their many roles as a mother, a woman, and a unique person.
Serving over 6000 members in the US and beyond, Mothers and More is a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the lives of mothers through support, education, and advocacy. It addresses mothers' needs as individuals and members of society, and promotes the value of all the work mothers do. For more information or to join on line, log onto www.mothersandmore.org.
To learn about the Pasadena chapter of Mothers & More, log on to the chapter website at http://mandmpas.tripod.com or call (866) 206-9068 #3921
Why Do We Want Children
Why do we want children? To answer this question from a deep spiritual level and not from some careless place of opinions influenced by the world around us, we want them, in fact some of us need them, because they are our legacy. Think about that for a moment.
Legacy is defined as something left to a person by will, inheritance or request. It is also defined as something that has come from an ancestor or predecessor or the past, according to the Webster’s New Ideal Dictionary. Now apply that definition to why we want children? We desire to have them because in everything we do to contribute to this world materially, it just isn’t enough for some people, to die and not leave a human life.
How awesome is this concept! It doesn’t matter to those who desire children to see them in the store crying out loud for a bottle, screaming to play with a toy in aisle four or running away from mom in a dangerous parking lot. People who truly love children and want to give back to a supernatural power that gave them life understand the significance. Of course, there are those individuals who want children for selfish reasons such as using them to accomplish dreams that they chose not to pursue, didn’t qualify for or simply failed at, a tax write-off, or to abuse or misuse because of some deep mental illness. Whatever the reason, children are meant to be here on planet earth to pick up where we left off. All are born and pre-programmed with a divine plan and it is up to parents to find out what their talents are and direct them on how to best utilize them to make the world a better place. However, when parents ignore their responsibilities by involving themselves with so much activity outside of raising their children, they fail them from the start. There are those exceptions; however, when children are given everything and still miss out on their divine calling. Once that has occurred, a parent can only focus on the fact that he or she did the best that they could. Parents should make themselves available to provide wisdom and support, when necessary, to get his or her adult child back on track.
As for those people who don’t and will never have children, there are so many ways that they can be a part of the legacy. They can assist another who has children by offering to care for them, provide for children whose parents can’t raise them, and support them by counseling or educating them. The sky is the limit! There is no commandment anywhere that states, “Thou must have children.” It doesn’t matter how one interprets the Bible or any other book, this is not a requirement and if it were, wouldn’t everyone be able to have children from their own bodies?
Children are our legacy -- an inheritance to this world. They are more powerful than money, real estate, businesses and cars. When children are carefully studied, anyone can see something within their self that is flawed and needs to be changed. Why do you think we get nervous around talkative children?
Children are a reminder of our innocence when we were young and provide us the answers on how to achieve that inner joy we once had. Why do you think we easily fall in love with a child’s laughter? They are our beginning and end, a glimpse of the history of our ancestors to arouse our own curiosity and a conclusion of what we could have been and seen if we would have been a little more adventurous.
Legacy is defined as something left to a person by will, inheritance or request. It is also defined as something that has come from an ancestor or predecessor or the past, according to the Webster’s New Ideal Dictionary. Now apply that definition to why we want children? We desire to have them because in everything we do to contribute to this world materially, it just isn’t enough for some people, to die and not leave a human life.
How awesome is this concept! It doesn’t matter to those who desire children to see them in the store crying out loud for a bottle, screaming to play with a toy in aisle four or running away from mom in a dangerous parking lot. People who truly love children and want to give back to a supernatural power that gave them life understand the significance. Of course, there are those individuals who want children for selfish reasons such as using them to accomplish dreams that they chose not to pursue, didn’t qualify for or simply failed at, a tax write-off, or to abuse or misuse because of some deep mental illness. Whatever the reason, children are meant to be here on planet earth to pick up where we left off. All are born and pre-programmed with a divine plan and it is up to parents to find out what their talents are and direct them on how to best utilize them to make the world a better place. However, when parents ignore their responsibilities by involving themselves with so much activity outside of raising their children, they fail them from the start. There are those exceptions; however, when children are given everything and still miss out on their divine calling. Once that has occurred, a parent can only focus on the fact that he or she did the best that they could. Parents should make themselves available to provide wisdom and support, when necessary, to get his or her adult child back on track.
As for those people who don’t and will never have children, there are so many ways that they can be a part of the legacy. They can assist another who has children by offering to care for them, provide for children whose parents can’t raise them, and support them by counseling or educating them. The sky is the limit! There is no commandment anywhere that states, “Thou must have children.” It doesn’t matter how one interprets the Bible or any other book, this is not a requirement and if it were, wouldn’t everyone be able to have children from their own bodies?
Children are our legacy -- an inheritance to this world. They are more powerful than money, real estate, businesses and cars. When children are carefully studied, anyone can see something within their self that is flawed and needs to be changed. Why do you think we get nervous around talkative children?
Children are a reminder of our innocence when we were young and provide us the answers on how to achieve that inner joy we once had. Why do you think we easily fall in love with a child’s laughter? They are our beginning and end, a glimpse of the history of our ancestors to arouse our own curiosity and a conclusion of what we could have been and seen if we would have been a little more adventurous.
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