Raising a Disabled Child

As a teenager in the late 60's I couldn't have imagined my life as anything other than being a housewife and mother, a June Cleaver look-a-like. Maybe a "little" job that was cute and didn't require much work or brain power on my part. But that was not to be. Ultimately, I became the parent of a mentally challenged child.

My son was born with a heart defect that required surgery. A tissue graft in his heart failed and blocked blood to his lungs. He went through renal failure as a result. As a believer in a higher purpose, when my son was so near death after the second heart surgery, I swore an oath to take care of him despite my limited understanding that the "normal" child was gone and not sure what would be left.

During my son's crisis a black minister from Louisiana with a daughter facing a similar crisis, whispered these words of comfort "God gives no more than you can handle." When times have been difficult, that phrase has been my rock. I can handle whatever the trial, because God gives no more than I can handle.

My son's father couldn't "deal" with the residual health and learning disability issues and left a few years later. I was left with a special needs child and the courts back in the late 70's did nothing to protect his future needs.

The situation sounds grim, but we managed. I had to for my son and his sister's sake. As the saying goes, "failing was not an option". When I began my journey as a single parent I had a $7.00 an hour job in a flower shop and an order for child support that seldom came. We managed because I had no choice. Meanwhile, I became a better person for the struggle. A hobby a few years later became a livelihood and now makes an income six times that beginning salary.

My son and I still live together after all these years. I own my own house, I have a new car, and I have a career as a writer. My son and I travel together, go to movies and both our lives are filled with outside activities for each of us. I am a firm believer, you make your life what it is. I decided a long time ago to have a happy life despite the challenges thrown my way. Over the years I have faced my son's health crisis', job lay-offs and my daughter's diagnosis of being bi-polar. Despite it all I chose to be happy. I am a successful person on so many levels.

My crowning achievement is my son. He functions academically as a 8 or 9 year old. But as an adult, socially he is charming, personable and friendly. He is everything a parent could want in a son. He takes his job seriously. He is a hard working young man who still opens doors and isn't afraid to scrub the toilet while I do laundry.

Not everyone would consider my situation a blessing but I do. The struggles have been rewarded time and time again. I stood at my son's bedside and made a promise. That promise of "I'll endure whatever hardship" has turned out to be "heaped with blessings". My life is not what I expected, but it is richer than I could have ever imaged. Having a disabled child is not the end of the world, it's the beginning of a more rewarding life filled with unconditional love and great joy.

Charlotte Hoaks is a successful technical writer in the Houston area. She and her son are members of the Association of Retarded Citizens (ARC) a support organization for the disabled. Charlotte uses her skills as a writer to share information and inspire others to be more pro-active with assistance for the disabled. The disabled are the "silent" minority. They only have a voice when others advocate for them.

Symptoms of Autism - List of the Top Behaviors Parents Need to Watch For in Babies & Young Children

Autism affects many families in America and can affect a toddler in many different ways. It can hinder a babies development socially as well as his or her fine motor and communication skills. Autism is not the childhood illness it once was, where many autistic children were hidden away and not understood. There are many clinical and research studies being analyzed to help health care providers, educators and parents come up with better solutions to treat and manage it. Everyone agrees that acknowledging the signs of autism and getting early preventative care is necessary for a child's development. More and more health care providers and researchers believe that autistic traits can be seen in babes. When these symptoms become evident, is when early intervention should begin to help reduce the impact that the disorder can have on a child's growth progress. That is why it is so important for parents to be on the forefront of recognizing the signs and symptoms of autism.

Symptoms of autism are normally seen in a kid when he or she is between a year and half to 3 years old. Other, more benign symptoms may even be noticeable amid the first few months of a child's life. Parents need to be their child's cheerleader in this instance, and always monitor their developmental growth as the reach certain age related milestones. If a parent or a health care provider can distinctly see symptoms of autism in a child on or before their first birthday, then the child can get early treatment to minimize the devastating affects of this disorder.

Early onset symptoms are often not noticed simply because there is not a noticeable progression of abnormal behavior, but a lack of a child reaching those age appropriate developmental milestones. Babies who display autistic symptoms will not purposefully grab for toys nor will they try to get someone's attention. Parent's can often think that their baby is just really well behaved and since the infant does not interact as much as other babies do that he or she is not needy. But this can be an initial warning sign that a child is autistic. And while it is certainly true that a baby who does not cry often or is withdrawn from life is easier to handle, parents should be aware that something is organically wrong with their child if they do not need attention.

Parents need to be aware that autism can be controlled if caught early, but what exactly should they search for?

If you feel your baby is not attaining their developmental milestones, then here are some red flag signs that you may need to have your child analyzed. They include:

1. If a baby does not look you in the eye, does not look intently at toys, or will not search with their eyes when their name is called can be an early warning sign of autism.
2. A baby who shows no facial emotions, such as grimacing or exuberance or anger or fear.
3. A baby who doesn't mimic your actions, whether it's smiling, scowling or waving your hand.
4. A baby who will not try to create consonant sounds, or imitate the sounds you make when you talk to him or her.
5. A baby who is not energized by the objects he or she looks at.

Red flag warning traits for kids are:

1. The toddler has a uneasy time attempting to communicate to you about his or her wants and needs.
2. The kid no longer attempts to talk or interact with you.
3. The child is having trouble learning the finer points of speech skills.

Now, most parents will be concerned if they think that their toddler starts to have any of these warning symptoms. It's just natural. If you have witnessed that your baby or child is exhibiting any of these warning symptoms then it is a best bet for you to call for an appointment with your pediatrician or family physician. In fact, even if your child is hitting their developmental milestones, it is still a good idea to have them analyzed. Your child could be a highly functioning autistic for their age, but may face challenges as they get older because of the social situations they find themselves in.

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Has Your Child Been Recently Diagnosed with a Disability?

If so, you may want to click on the following link because you may be eligible for some government money! http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/10026.html#ssi-benefits