Showing posts with label new parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new parents. Show all posts
The Secret is Out - Some Parents Just Didn't Want Any Kids
In a society that has numerous family photos on and offline of happy parents with cute children, feature stories in media about kids, and family members who pressure newlyweds, "When are you going to have children, it isn't any wonder why so many couples are brainwashed into having kids even when they really know deep down inside they never really wanted any.
When we think of those who say, "I don't want kids," some of us parents will immediately judge them, others will think there is something wrong with singles, and then there are those who will respect couples' wishes and change the subject. But isn't there a secret with some critical parents, the kind that they don't want to admit to, they really didn't want children, or let's just put it this way, they just weren't ready for them.
I candidly admitted in my book, When Mothers Cry, that I didn't want children, but I ended up with four handsome guys who sincerely did bring out the best (and at times worse) in me. As a little girl, I knew that being a mom was not what I wanted. But after a couple of decades of experiencing societal pressure on "...one day having your own family..." and thoughts of "Maybe one day..." coming in and out of my head, babies came before I could say, "Sure, this is what I want."
So if you are experiencing the parental blues, just know that you aren't alone. You might want to examine those relationships you have with others especially if the couples don't have children or their children have long left the nest. Sometimes those temporal feelings of "I wish I didn't have kids..." can really wear you down because you have connected with people that don't necessarily make you feel good about being a parent. Also, when you are burned out with children, you will find yourself resenting being a parent, so take a break, share your concerns with someone or group that can help and most of all pray!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.
When we think of those who say, "I don't want kids," some of us parents will immediately judge them, others will think there is something wrong with singles, and then there are those who will respect couples' wishes and change the subject. But isn't there a secret with some critical parents, the kind that they don't want to admit to, they really didn't want children, or let's just put it this way, they just weren't ready for them.
I candidly admitted in my book, When Mothers Cry, that I didn't want children, but I ended up with four handsome guys who sincerely did bring out the best (and at times worse) in me. As a little girl, I knew that being a mom was not what I wanted. But after a couple of decades of experiencing societal pressure on "...one day having your own family..." and thoughts of "Maybe one day..." coming in and out of my head, babies came before I could say, "Sure, this is what I want."
So if you are experiencing the parental blues, just know that you aren't alone. You might want to examine those relationships you have with others especially if the couples don't have children or their children have long left the nest. Sometimes those temporal feelings of "I wish I didn't have kids..." can really wear you down because you have connected with people that don't necessarily make you feel good about being a parent. Also, when you are burned out with children, you will find yourself resenting being a parent, so take a break, share your concerns with someone or group that can help and most of all pray!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.
12 Productive Things You Can Do When Your Children Aren't Around
When Mothers Cry: Showing Love to Mothers: Divorced, Single, Married and Depressed Moms: 12 Things You Can Do When Your Children Aren't Aro...: Are you constantly putting things off because your children keep disrupting the time you need to get things done? Soon you will have that ...
Don't Take a Chance, Avoid Leaving Children Alone
For some parents they can be very irresponsible when it comes to raising children. They leave babies alone for long periods of time, fail to control meal size and snack times, children are permitted to play with or near dangerous things, while others are allowed to participate in activities far too despicable to name here.
When confronted on obvious wrongs when it comes to children, some parents, especially those who have been exposed to all sorts of evil during childhood, will justify why, "It's okay...I turned out okay...I don't need anyone telling me how to raise my children, I know what I'm doing."
Years ago, I overheard some news about children who had been left alone and burned up in a house fire, it turned out to be relatives of mine. The mother was out doing God knows what! She told no one what she was up to that day.
I have heard all too often children being left in rooms for hours "to play" while adults were in other rooms only to find that an older child is demonstrating sexual acts on younger siblings.
The longer children are left alone, the probability that they will do something they have no business is likely. Older children know how to pretend like nothing has happened while parents are away. They learn how to clean up messes, tell lies, and blame others. I have heard countless stories of children participating in underage drinking, experimenting with drugs, viewing porn, and doing many other things while parents are busy working, visiting friends, shopping, traveling, and most of all sleep.
If you are a parent and haven't checked your children's phones and gaming devices lately, you might want to. If you haven't checked up on baby-sitters in awhile, you should. If it has been a long time since you sat down with children and had a real conversation with them, you should consider doing it. There are so many people in this world who blur the lines between good and evil and don't mind using children to help create a nonchalant culture.
Nicholl McGuire
When confronted on obvious wrongs when it comes to children, some parents, especially those who have been exposed to all sorts of evil during childhood, will justify why, "It's okay...I turned out okay...I don't need anyone telling me how to raise my children, I know what I'm doing."
Years ago, I overheard some news about children who had been left alone and burned up in a house fire, it turned out to be relatives of mine. The mother was out doing God knows what! She told no one what she was up to that day.
I have heard all too often children being left in rooms for hours "to play" while adults were in other rooms only to find that an older child is demonstrating sexual acts on younger siblings.
The longer children are left alone, the probability that they will do something they have no business is likely. Older children know how to pretend like nothing has happened while parents are away. They learn how to clean up messes, tell lies, and blame others. I have heard countless stories of children participating in underage drinking, experimenting with drugs, viewing porn, and doing many other things while parents are busy working, visiting friends, shopping, traveling, and most of all sleep.
If you are a parent and haven't checked your children's phones and gaming devices lately, you might want to. If you haven't checked up on baby-sitters in awhile, you should. If it has been a long time since you sat down with children and had a real conversation with them, you should consider doing it. There are so many people in this world who blur the lines between good and evil and don't mind using children to help create a nonchalant culture.
Nicholl McGuire
10 Memorable Things You Can Do For the Babies and Children
Everyone tells you, "They grow up fast!" If you are a parent with a baby or small child, you are seeing that everyday. For some of you, expectant parents, reading this, before you know it you will have a baby in your arms and will be commenting on "how beautiful, sweet, wonderful," etc. But then those whines will begin to take their toll and you will start to forget important moments, people, places, and things. Life gets in the way of the littlest of things, doesn't it? Therefore, the following is a simple "To Do" list just to remind you of some things you will want to do, if not for you, for your baby/child. Recording memories is one of the wisest things you can do, because it helps a son or daughter know one's history, appreciate family, welcome others into their inner circle, create closer bonds in the future with one's own children, and more! Here are some things you will want to do.
1. Invest in a good digital and video camera. Record milestones including photos of you and partner interacting with the baby. You might also want to get an Digital voice recorder to create mp3 Cds.
2. Create a traditional photo album/book offline. (Note: blogs get deleted, companies go out of business).
3. Save all collectible baby items, toys, shoes, etc. (if you don't know what is of value, check online).
4. Create a blog and include fond memories, personal challenges and wisdom for the future.
5. Visit as many relatives and friends as you can while the baby is still somewhat new, this way you will be building a network of support early on in case you and your son or daughter should ever need these people in the future. People are more open to newborns. Take photos with these individuals holding the baby, share them with your group, and keep thoughtful cards from these people. Organize their contact information, so that you can keep them up to date on your baby's progress. Preserve this information because one day your child will want to invite family and friends to things like: sporting events, graduation, weddings, etc.
6. Keep a baby book and include all health information in it including any necessary records.
7. Consider a calendar or some memento that tells them about how the world was when they were born.
8. Organize your child's creative work and protect it in things like frames, jars, etc.
9. Give gifts of t-shirts, cups and other fun things when grandparents and other relatives are far away so that they can treasure your child's memories as well.
10. Back up photos, scan documents and put what you can in a fire safe.
There are numerous other things you can do once your child becomes older and can draw. Do similar things as mentioned in this entry to preserve their work. Although some of these tasks might be tedious to some, know that your efforts will be appreciated by you one day, your child, a relative, or who knows, a group one day depending on how popular your child is and what kind of impact your son or daughter might make on society.
Nicholl McGuire
1. Invest in a good digital and video camera. Record milestones including photos of you and partner interacting with the baby. You might also want to get an Digital voice recorder to create mp3 Cds.
2. Create a traditional photo album/book offline. (Note: blogs get deleted, companies go out of business).
3. Save all collectible baby items, toys, shoes, etc. (if you don't know what is of value, check online).
4. Create a blog and include fond memories, personal challenges and wisdom for the future.
5. Visit as many relatives and friends as you can while the baby is still somewhat new, this way you will be building a network of support early on in case you and your son or daughter should ever need these people in the future. People are more open to newborns. Take photos with these individuals holding the baby, share them with your group, and keep thoughtful cards from these people. Organize their contact information, so that you can keep them up to date on your baby's progress. Preserve this information because one day your child will want to invite family and friends to things like: sporting events, graduation, weddings, etc.
6. Keep a baby book and include all health information in it including any necessary records.
7. Consider a calendar or some memento that tells them about how the world was when they were born.
8. Organize your child's creative work and protect it in things like frames, jars, etc.
9. Give gifts of t-shirts, cups and other fun things when grandparents and other relatives are far away so that they can treasure your child's memories as well.
10. Back up photos, scan documents and put what you can in a fire safe.
There are numerous other things you can do once your child becomes older and can draw. Do similar things as mentioned in this entry to preserve their work. Although some of these tasks might be tedious to some, know that your efforts will be appreciated by you one day, your child, a relative, or who knows, a group one day depending on how popular your child is and what kind of impact your son or daughter might make on society.
Nicholl McGuire
Believe it or Not, Doctors Don't Always Know Best
If I hear one more time a new mother say, "But the doctor said..." I will scream! They aren't gods especially those who have never had their own children. Sometimes the more education you get, the more common sense goes out the window. You see, it is easy to read out of a book "What to do when..." but whether the solution really solves your problem with your child is a whole 'nother problem!
When wise grandma tells you about a home remedy that worked for her eight plus children, new mothers should at least make a consideration. When dad says he knows a few tricks to get a colicky baby to go to sleep (outside the use of Tylenol every other day,) a new father should say, "I'm listening."
These defensive new parents who think they know-it-all because they read something somewhere, the doctor told them or they saw something on TV, should be quiet long enough to say, "Hmm I never tried that."
It isn't any wonder that some babies have diaper rash that never seems to go away, obesity issues, constant health problems and the like, the parents keep going to the same sources for information and coming up with nothing.
I made up in my mind a long time ago (back when I was in my terrible twenties) to at least hear the old folks out. I thought of a time when I tried a stinky herbal remedy for my fussy baby at my grandmother and mother's request. Then my mother-in-law at the time, who hadn't heard about it, had something to say negative, because she hadn't thought of it (but I digress lol.)
I recall when there was an old lady who made a comment about covering my baby's head when she noticed it was getting cooler out. I learned the hard way that evening when my firstborn son cried so much after having a little too much night air exposure on an uncovered head. There were moments when I was warned about candy, cookies and drinks prior to nap and bedtimes, I learned the hard way once again when I couldn't get two of my sons to settle down.
So I leave you with this new parents, value wisdom, it is far more valuable then anything you think you might know.
Nicholl McGuire
When wise grandma tells you about a home remedy that worked for her eight plus children, new mothers should at least make a consideration. When dad says he knows a few tricks to get a colicky baby to go to sleep (outside the use of Tylenol every other day,) a new father should say, "I'm listening."
These defensive new parents who think they know-it-all because they read something somewhere, the doctor told them or they saw something on TV, should be quiet long enough to say, "Hmm I never tried that."
It isn't any wonder that some babies have diaper rash that never seems to go away, obesity issues, constant health problems and the like, the parents keep going to the same sources for information and coming up with nothing.
I made up in my mind a long time ago (back when I was in my terrible twenties) to at least hear the old folks out. I thought of a time when I tried a stinky herbal remedy for my fussy baby at my grandmother and mother's request. Then my mother-in-law at the time, who hadn't heard about it, had something to say negative, because she hadn't thought of it (but I digress lol.)
I recall when there was an old lady who made a comment about covering my baby's head when she noticed it was getting cooler out. I learned the hard way that evening when my firstborn son cried so much after having a little too much night air exposure on an uncovered head. There were moments when I was warned about candy, cookies and drinks prior to nap and bedtimes, I learned the hard way once again when I couldn't get two of my sons to settle down.
So I leave you with this new parents, value wisdom, it is far more valuable then anything you think you might know.
Nicholl McGuire
What New Parents Or Parents-To-Be Ought To Know About Choosing Names For The Baby
It must be beautiful having a new baby or expecting one. You go through names again and again, trying to find one name that will fit your precious little baby. Yet, none seems good enough for your angel. One sounds weird, the one sounds silly. Nothing.
You need a guide. Almost all new parents need guides, so don’t you worry about it.
Try these simple tips:
• Close the baby names book or list you found on the net
Pick some that you like best without having to refer to those names in the book or list. Simply use your brain and heart. Make a list of five to ten names. This has to be done by both parents. After it’s done, check out each other’s list. Some are lucky enough to find a name that they both like.
• Find the meaning
For some culture a name can be a hope for the children. Yet, you wouldn’t want to have a child whose name might be cute or unique yet has a bad meaning. Now, it’s time to check out the book or some sites on the net.
• Check out the initial
Ok, now you have decided that the first name would be Rebecca. Your last name is Taylor. If you don’t want the initial to be R.A.T., don’t give Anna as the middle name.
• Get the right combination
Some names aren’t good together but some others don’t. So, make sure you make the right combination. The first, middle and last name should sound beautifully.
• Don’t choose a name that can cause frustration to your child
No, of course you don’t want that. That’s why you’d better think wisely about it. How would you feel if given such a name? If you don’t like it, neither would your child.
• No need to hurry
Take as much time you need.
David W Richards is a father of two. He likes sharing his parenting experiences. He also has some sites such as Insurance Jewelry.info, Graduate Mortgage.info, and Expat Mortgage.info
You need a guide. Almost all new parents need guides, so don’t you worry about it.
Try these simple tips:
• Close the baby names book or list you found on the net
Pick some that you like best without having to refer to those names in the book or list. Simply use your brain and heart. Make a list of five to ten names. This has to be done by both parents. After it’s done, check out each other’s list. Some are lucky enough to find a name that they both like.
• Find the meaning
For some culture a name can be a hope for the children. Yet, you wouldn’t want to have a child whose name might be cute or unique yet has a bad meaning. Now, it’s time to check out the book or some sites on the net.
• Check out the initial
Ok, now you have decided that the first name would be Rebecca. Your last name is Taylor. If you don’t want the initial to be R.A.T., don’t give Anna as the middle name.
• Get the right combination
Some names aren’t good together but some others don’t. So, make sure you make the right combination. The first, middle and last name should sound beautifully.
• Don’t choose a name that can cause frustration to your child
No, of course you don’t want that. That’s why you’d better think wisely about it. How would you feel if given such a name? If you don’t like it, neither would your child.
• No need to hurry
Take as much time you need.
David W Richards is a father of two. He likes sharing his parenting experiences. He also has some sites such as Insurance Jewelry.info, Graduate Mortgage.info, and Expat Mortgage.info
Blaming The Parents
It seems that nowadays that more and more people are blaming their parents for a bad childhood, and somehow that reasoning gives them a license to misbehave as adults.
Blaming your parents for your current behavior is irrational and irresponsible. One of the steps towards adulthood and self fulfillment is to understand that every person is responsible for their own actions. You are responsible for yourself.
Most people dutifully profess love towards their children and parents. The reality is that the love is only lip service to sooth the public consciousness. When in fact through many past and present irrationalities, conflicts, and demands there is no real love. Lack of respect for the others rights leads to loss of genuine love and enjoyment between parents and children. The lack of trust makes love impossible.
However with that said, we all must realize that an important step towards emotional growth is to acknowledge that no one has an actual duty to love another. Not even parents towards their children, or children towards their parents.
Genuine love occurs only voluntarily, through a mutual exchange of objectives and emotional values. Genuine love between parents and children can and does occur in those relationships in which objectives and values are exchanged and allowed to grow.
When there is no love between parents and children both are partially responsible for some problems experienced by certain adolescents and young adults. Major problems between parents and children are often the result of loss of trust and respect between them. Parents fail to treat children as human beings with individual rights. Parents often resort to force and physical violence under the euphemism of discipline, protection or control.
The cycle becomes sustaining, but can be corrected with effort. It all comes down to an act of defiance, followed by harsh discipline. What should happen is open communication to discover the cause of the defiance. Physical violence is proof of communication failure, and should be avoided.
Too often parents are blamed for their grown children’s faults and behavior. Once a person has reached the legal age they become irrevocably responsible for themselves. Blaming parents only hides or avoids self responsibility and the efforts needed to develop ones own self.
If children are never given respect, they never develop respect for their parents, for themselves or for values. Such children become the future problems as they do not value honesty with themselves or others. Always seeking to survive by usurping others, to get revenge for their upbringing while not taking responsibility for their own life.
The most valuable gift a parent can give to their children is the environment where they learn honesty, integrity, independence and the ability to use assertive effort to produce value for others. If your children are young enjoy them while you can, but respect them as fellow humans and they will grow to respect you and voluntarily love you.
If your children are grown and are still problems to them selves and society, tell them that you are not responsible for their actions, they are responsible for their actions. Give them a short explanation that they are independent human beings with individual rights and responsibilities. Tell them if you must that you apologize for their poor childhood, but the past is gone, all you have is now.
If you are an adult and you cannot talk to your parents, realize this; you are solely responsible for what you do and who you are. The past may have been less than desirable, but it is gone, over and done. You can be who you want to be!
So to sum up, treat each other as you would want to be treated, and the whole world becomes a better place.
Be Blessed
Written by Ralston Heath
Did You like what you saw? You can find more at: http://true-happiness.blogspot.com/
Blaming your parents for your current behavior is irrational and irresponsible. One of the steps towards adulthood and self fulfillment is to understand that every person is responsible for their own actions. You are responsible for yourself.
Most people dutifully profess love towards their children and parents. The reality is that the love is only lip service to sooth the public consciousness. When in fact through many past and present irrationalities, conflicts, and demands there is no real love. Lack of respect for the others rights leads to loss of genuine love and enjoyment between parents and children. The lack of trust makes love impossible.
However with that said, we all must realize that an important step towards emotional growth is to acknowledge that no one has an actual duty to love another. Not even parents towards their children, or children towards their parents.
Genuine love occurs only voluntarily, through a mutual exchange of objectives and emotional values. Genuine love between parents and children can and does occur in those relationships in which objectives and values are exchanged and allowed to grow.
When there is no love between parents and children both are partially responsible for some problems experienced by certain adolescents and young adults. Major problems between parents and children are often the result of loss of trust and respect between them. Parents fail to treat children as human beings with individual rights. Parents often resort to force and physical violence under the euphemism of discipline, protection or control.
The cycle becomes sustaining, but can be corrected with effort. It all comes down to an act of defiance, followed by harsh discipline. What should happen is open communication to discover the cause of the defiance. Physical violence is proof of communication failure, and should be avoided.
Too often parents are blamed for their grown children’s faults and behavior. Once a person has reached the legal age they become irrevocably responsible for themselves. Blaming parents only hides or avoids self responsibility and the efforts needed to develop ones own self.
If children are never given respect, they never develop respect for their parents, for themselves or for values. Such children become the future problems as they do not value honesty with themselves or others. Always seeking to survive by usurping others, to get revenge for their upbringing while not taking responsibility for their own life.
The most valuable gift a parent can give to their children is the environment where they learn honesty, integrity, independence and the ability to use assertive effort to produce value for others. If your children are young enjoy them while you can, but respect them as fellow humans and they will grow to respect you and voluntarily love you.
If your children are grown and are still problems to them selves and society, tell them that you are not responsible for their actions, they are responsible for their actions. Give them a short explanation that they are independent human beings with individual rights and responsibilities. Tell them if you must that you apologize for their poor childhood, but the past is gone, all you have is now.
If you are an adult and you cannot talk to your parents, realize this; you are solely responsible for what you do and who you are. The past may have been less than desirable, but it is gone, over and done. You can be who you want to be!
So to sum up, treat each other as you would want to be treated, and the whole world becomes a better place.
Be Blessed
Written by Ralston Heath
Did You like what you saw? You can find more at: http://true-happiness.blogspot.com/
What to Expect With a Newborn
Caring for a newborn can be an overwhelming task, even if the baby is not your first. The task is best approached with common sense, but common sense is most useful when rooted in experience. Fortunately, even if you are having your first child, there is plenty of experience to draw on - people have been having babies for as long as there have been people.
A newborn baby can bring about a whirlwind of activity, and be a source of excitement. Baby can also bring stress as well as tire you out. Adjusting to life with a newborn can be a major change, and round the clock care for a newborn baby can turn your life upside down. Your newborn will bring a lot of joy to your life, though. Enjoy it, and cope with the rest as it comes.
One thing you need to be sure to do is take care of yourself. You must resist the urge to over-indulge in caffeine. Drink lots of water, eat healthy foods, get fresh air, and if you can, get regular exercise. Also, for your sanity, do something you enjoy every day. You may need to have a little time to yourself to keep you balanced. It is important to take good care of yourself. This will give you the energy to take good care of your newborn baby.
Sleep is at a premium when you have a newborn baby, but get it when you can. If you can, sleep when your baby sleeps, and work out a coordinated schedule with your partner so both of you can rest and still take care of the baby.
No doubt your friends and especially your relatives are eager to spend as much time as possible admiring your new baby. It may make sense for you to establish visiting hours to help you maintain a schedule that works for you and your newborn. Let your visitors know what time is best, and make sure anyone who is not feeling well visits when they are healthy. After all, you don’t want anyone to pass a cold onto your new, vulnerable baby. Now is not the time for social graces; don’t be afraid to be direct. You can also take advantage of the interest in your baby and have friends and family help with household chores so you can get some rest every now and then.
It’s never too early to establish a routine, but you have to let your baby set the pace. Make sure you set aside plenty of time for nursing sessions, naps and crying spells. Don’t schedule too many activities; most of your time is now baby time. Give yourself extra time to pack and get items together when you do have to go somewhere.
Be prepared to have a roller coaster of emotions. You will of course admire your new baby and adore him or her, but there will be times when you grieve for your fatally wounded independence, and worry about your ability to care for a newborn. These may be seconds apart. It’s all part of the process. You will be back to your normal self shortly. It is always OK to ask for help if you need it, and your newborn will thrive as you do.
Maria Cummings is a devoted parent, wife and expert author on family matters and parenting. She is devoted to helping children's organizations and activities. Maria is also the Sales Manager for BustlingBaby.com which offers a variety of baby mobility products, from convertible car seats to lightweight strollers
A newborn baby can bring about a whirlwind of activity, and be a source of excitement. Baby can also bring stress as well as tire you out. Adjusting to life with a newborn can be a major change, and round the clock care for a newborn baby can turn your life upside down. Your newborn will bring a lot of joy to your life, though. Enjoy it, and cope with the rest as it comes.
One thing you need to be sure to do is take care of yourself. You must resist the urge to over-indulge in caffeine. Drink lots of water, eat healthy foods, get fresh air, and if you can, get regular exercise. Also, for your sanity, do something you enjoy every day. You may need to have a little time to yourself to keep you balanced. It is important to take good care of yourself. This will give you the energy to take good care of your newborn baby.
Sleep is at a premium when you have a newborn baby, but get it when you can. If you can, sleep when your baby sleeps, and work out a coordinated schedule with your partner so both of you can rest and still take care of the baby.
No doubt your friends and especially your relatives are eager to spend as much time as possible admiring your new baby. It may make sense for you to establish visiting hours to help you maintain a schedule that works for you and your newborn. Let your visitors know what time is best, and make sure anyone who is not feeling well visits when they are healthy. After all, you don’t want anyone to pass a cold onto your new, vulnerable baby. Now is not the time for social graces; don’t be afraid to be direct. You can also take advantage of the interest in your baby and have friends and family help with household chores so you can get some rest every now and then.
It’s never too early to establish a routine, but you have to let your baby set the pace. Make sure you set aside plenty of time for nursing sessions, naps and crying spells. Don’t schedule too many activities; most of your time is now baby time. Give yourself extra time to pack and get items together when you do have to go somewhere.
Be prepared to have a roller coaster of emotions. You will of course admire your new baby and adore him or her, but there will be times when you grieve for your fatally wounded independence, and worry about your ability to care for a newborn. These may be seconds apart. It’s all part of the process. You will be back to your normal self shortly. It is always OK to ask for help if you need it, and your newborn will thrive as you do.
Maria Cummings is a devoted parent, wife and expert author on family matters and parenting. She is devoted to helping children's organizations and activities. Maria is also the Sales Manager for BustlingBaby.com which offers a variety of baby mobility products, from convertible car seats to lightweight strollers
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