In a society that has numerous family photos on and offline of happy parents with cute children, feature stories in media about kids, and family members who pressure newlyweds, "When are you going to have children, it isn't any wonder why so many couples are brainwashed into having kids even when they really know deep down inside they never really wanted any.
When we think of those who say, "I don't want kids," some of us parents will immediately judge them, others will think there is something wrong with singles, and then there are those who will respect couples' wishes and change the subject. But isn't there a secret with some critical parents, the kind that they don't want to admit to, they really didn't want children, or let's just put it this way, they just weren't ready for them.
I candidly admitted in my book, When Mothers Cry, that I didn't want children, but I ended up with four handsome guys who sincerely did bring out the best (and at times worse) in me. As a little girl, I knew that being a mom was not what I wanted. But after a couple of decades of experiencing societal pressure on "...one day having your own family..." and thoughts of "Maybe one day..." coming in and out of my head, babies came before I could say, "Sure, this is what I want."
So if you are experiencing the parental blues, just know that you aren't alone. You might want to examine those relationships you have with others especially if the couples don't have children or their children have long left the nest. Sometimes those temporal feelings of "I wish I didn't have kids..." can really wear you down because you have connected with people that don't necessarily make you feel good about being a parent. Also, when you are burned out with children, you will find yourself resenting being a parent, so take a break, share your concerns with someone or group that can help and most of all pray!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.
When we think of those who say, "I don't want kids," some of us parents will immediately judge them, others will think there is something wrong with singles, and then there are those who will respect couples' wishes and change the subject. But isn't there a secret with some critical parents, the kind that they don't want to admit to, they really didn't want children, or let's just put it this way, they just weren't ready for them.
I candidly admitted in my book, When Mothers Cry, that I didn't want children, but I ended up with four handsome guys who sincerely did bring out the best (and at times worse) in me. As a little girl, I knew that being a mom was not what I wanted. But after a couple of decades of experiencing societal pressure on "...one day having your own family..." and thoughts of "Maybe one day..." coming in and out of my head, babies came before I could say, "Sure, this is what I want."
So if you are experiencing the parental blues, just know that you aren't alone. You might want to examine those relationships you have with others especially if the couples don't have children or their children have long left the nest. Sometimes those temporal feelings of "I wish I didn't have kids..." can really wear you down because you have connected with people that don't necessarily make you feel good about being a parent. Also, when you are burned out with children, you will find yourself resenting being a parent, so take a break, share your concerns with someone or group that can help and most of all pray!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.
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