If you haven't noticed by now, this blog is dedicated to those households that have a baby, a toddler, a tween, and a teen all living under one roof! I have four boys that were at one time in all of these groups (well a few still are.) Anyway, I am considered old in my "hood" for having such young children. Most of my friends have teens and adult sons and daughters.
Now some people will comment when you are an older mom or dad in such a situation as mine, "They could be your grandchildren...I know you were surprised when you found out you were pregnant...I don't know what I would have done...So you started late in life, huh? I'm glad mine are grown!" Enough already! I think. Does this sound like encouraging words to you?
I didn't anticipate being a mom in my twenties or thirties and I share my experiences in my book,
When Mothers Cry.
There are those critics who act as if they are paying for your children when you have more than two. Don't walk down the street without the children's father pushing a stroller, there goes the looks from folks riding in cars or walking pass you and your family. Some smile, but some frown especially those who come from cultures that don't permit more than one child per family.
I have learned to recognize "the look" and I don't say anything, I just look straight ahead. My son noticed "the look" many times and asked me, "Why do people look at us so mean sometimes?"
It hurts when you or your family have done nothing wrong except exist and all a mean-spirited person can do is send out negative vibes! My oldest son is very perceptive. I talk to him about such people, and I tell him, "Don't be concerned, these people don't know you. We are going to have a good day. Besides, that man or woman is probably having a bad day." Sure, yeah right, one day we will revisit that topic except the next time we will talk about how some people have problems with one's skin color, but I digress. I do say to myself while making eye contact with some of these grumpy people, was the eye roll really necessary from a stranger or the mumble under one's breath, "...she got so many kids, all boys whew!?" The other day, someone asked me were two of my sons mine, then commented how we look alike, go figure!? Anyway...
So as I approach that age when the start of menopause begins, when the toddler becomes an elementary student, when the elementary student becomes a tween, and when the teen becomes a man, I will reassure myself, that the world isn't looking at me, they are just having a hard day.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Amazon.com
