6 Tips that Will Help Children Deal with Separation/Divorce
If you plan on separating from a partner or divorcing him or her, you may want to say and do some things that will alleviate at least some of the stress that children will experience as a result of not having a parent around anymore.
One. Remind your children that they will see their mother or father again. If possible, give them photos of mom or dad, show pictures of new home, familiar faces, neighborhood, etc. Explain to them they are getting more of everything like two houses, two holiday celebrations, more toys etc.
Two. Ask about how they feel and encourage them to keep talking while you listen. Avoid the temptation to interrupt.
Three. Be firm when it comes to establishing rules and getting children to adhere to them. As much as you will want to be that nice, friendly, sweet parent, you also don't want to be used and abused by children either.
Four. Communicate with partner about issues related to the children such as: who will be babysitting them, what they are eating, school challenges, etc. Keep away from conversations that have nothing to do with children. It might seem difficult at first, but with practice and constant self-talk, you will find yourself not caring about your exes personal life or what he or she thinks about yours--unless of course what you both say/do affects the children.
Five. Move on! Don't let relatives, in-laws, and others dictate how you are suppose to live your life with or without your children. Some will talk about "If I were you...and you shouldn't let...and what about the kids..." If any of these phrases and more are followed by so-called advice that doesn't help you raise children, positively add to your relationship with an exe, or better your lifestyle, ignore it. If you have a faith, now might be a good time to consult your heavenly Father, because you will face opposition as you draw further away from your exe.
Six. Encourage your children to visit relatives (on both sides) and others who have been supportive while you were married and assisted you with children. If this is not possible, have children call or write family members. This way you are letting all parties know you are not turning your children against loved ones, but if you are shutting out your in-laws even when they haven't acted ill toward your children, you are becoming a problem rather than a solution. You never know when you might need these individuals, so keep the lines of communication open.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
One. Remind your children that they will see their mother or father again. If possible, give them photos of mom or dad, show pictures of new home, familiar faces, neighborhood, etc. Explain to them they are getting more of everything like two houses, two holiday celebrations, more toys etc.
Two. Ask about how they feel and encourage them to keep talking while you listen. Avoid the temptation to interrupt.
Three. Be firm when it comes to establishing rules and getting children to adhere to them. As much as you will want to be that nice, friendly, sweet parent, you also don't want to be used and abused by children either.
Four. Communicate with partner about issues related to the children such as: who will be babysitting them, what they are eating, school challenges, etc. Keep away from conversations that have nothing to do with children. It might seem difficult at first, but with practice and constant self-talk, you will find yourself not caring about your exes personal life or what he or she thinks about yours--unless of course what you both say/do affects the children.
Five. Move on! Don't let relatives, in-laws, and others dictate how you are suppose to live your life with or without your children. Some will talk about "If I were you...and you shouldn't let...and what about the kids..." If any of these phrases and more are followed by so-called advice that doesn't help you raise children, positively add to your relationship with an exe, or better your lifestyle, ignore it. If you have a faith, now might be a good time to consult your heavenly Father, because you will face opposition as you draw further away from your exe.
Six. Encourage your children to visit relatives (on both sides) and others who have been supportive while you were married and assisted you with children. If this is not possible, have children call or write family members. This way you are letting all parties know you are not turning your children against loved ones, but if you are shutting out your in-laws even when they haven't acted ill toward your children, you are becoming a problem rather than a solution. You never know when you might need these individuals, so keep the lines of communication open.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
New Parents, Young Mothers: When Parenting Isn't What It is Cracked Up to Be
If you ever wanted to share how you really felt about being a parent, then you just might want to get Nicholl McGuire's book, When Mothers Cry. It is packed with insightful information on a variety of issues related to motherhood--some you know about and others you have yet to experience. It may not be wise or right to come out with everything that is on your mind right now about parenting. People have a way of taking what you say and do when it comes to babies and children and using it against you. In When Mothers Cry, Nicholl shares some of her experiences and how she was at times emotionally uplifted and other times negatively impacted due to a lack of support, finances, and the like when it came to her four children, work, spirituality, and relationships.Sometimes you will find that people who mean you well either forgot what it was like when they started out as a parent, avoid rehashing the past, or simply don't care too much about parenting, because they are in a different place now in their lives. Some will even chalk most things up with phrases like, "It is what it is...To each his own...I mind my own business." Maybe that is not what you want to hear. Maybe you are on the verge of losing it! Maybe you, dare I say it, resent being a parent and wish that you had made a different decision.
Wherever you are in life and whatever you feel, know that it is very common to have a variety of emotions when caring for a crying infant, arguing with an irritating mate, and trying to be a friend to everyone else.
Get When Mothers Cry today and hopefully you will utilize some of the material to help you keep fighting the good fight for the sake of your family and most of all for your own personal well-being!
Women: a biblical study/commentary on Rebekah
Sometimes the one true God has a funny way of showing yourself or others in the Bible. Watch as well as pray. Find someone in the Bible with whom you can relate. http://youtu.be/di8IhqjqmEg
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