How to Tell Your Spouse You Need Time Away from the Children

You may be the parent who is always doing for the children while your partner is working, while he or she is away on business, and anything else he or she is doing. You organize and clean the household, you run errands, and you do other things to keep the house operating smoothly. However, lately you have been feeling burdened by the demands and all you want is an outlet -- a place to go and things to do that have nothing to do with children.

Well I have some suggestions based on things I have actually did before I had another nervous breakdown (That's right I had a nervous breakdown as a result of all of the stress managing the children and my business woes.)

First, meet with your partner being sure to specifically express how you feel. Second, communicate what you desire to do. General conversation just won't do. Someone who is logical wants the bottom line. "What do you want from me?" He or she will be thinking. What you will need to do is ask, not tell them what you need. "I was thinking would you be willing to ask your parents to assist with the children while I go out of town to XYZ?" You will then explain what you will be doing and why you must leave at said time. Will your selfish partner object at first? Yes. This is when you move into the next step. Third, reiterate why the needed free time is important to you and how long you will be gone. Lastly, be sure that you will protect your trip or anything else you desire to do. What I mean by that is you don't want him or her to sabotage your efforts in getting away. So buy the travel insurance, be sure you are dropping the children off rather than waiting on him or her, and make sure that you have the money to do what you want BEFORE you announce your trip. He or she will most likely make a stink about how you were already planning and you didn't care about what he or she thought, but for your own peace of mind, you do what you must!

I personally believe that the reason why so many parents end up committing suicide or murdering their children, co-workers etc. Is because selfish people never bothered to read the signs. They were too busy asking, "Well could you stay longer for me? Work later for me? Postpone return going to school for me? Watch the children just one more week for me? Buy this for me? Your answer should be, "No, no, no!"

Stand up for your mental health, because if you don't, no one else will!
Nicholl McGuire

Children: What to Do With Them When You Have Had It Up to Here!

If you are seeking tips on how to gain some peace and quiet from the children for awhile then I can tell you some of the interesting things I did with my first two sons.

If you are a couple that needs time together, time to take those in your family up on their offers to watch your children. Let them know at least two weeks in advance on what you need from them, save a little cash to give them for helping out, and plan a local getaway or just stay in the bed all weekend with your partner!

If you are a single mother, you may consider taking a personal day from work while the kids are in daycare. This needed time will recharge you if you feel overworked, underpaid, and stressed. You can also use this time to interview for that coveted job you have been eyeballing for weeks now!

If you are a single dad, you may consider using a date or two to help you with the children. Although you may disagree, this is a good test to see if this is definitely the person you want in your family's life. How will she act under pressure? Your children will be more than happy to inform you. Meanwhile, you can catch a movie or do some shopping without the children in tote. (Be sure she has been in your life for at least six months or more and that she is perfectly comfortable being alone with your children. Also, you may want to pre-warn the other parent too about her helping you out with the children every now and then.)

If you are a grandmother (watching your grandchildren), it doesn't hurt to tell your children you have had enough of the grandchildren staying with you. Call your children up as soon as you feel like you can't take another day with them, make arrangements to either drop them off or they come by. Don't make any plans at the time to see them again until you can get yourself together.

Some more things you can do to gain the free time you need include:

Putting the children in separate rooms with their favorite toys while you complete tasks around the house.

Allow children to color or work with fun drawing tools at the table that won't damage furniture.

Ask a high school student to come over afterschool for a few hours to assist with the children.

Invite a friend over to help you manage the care of the children.

Call a social service agency to find out what programs are in the area for children such as after school programs, childcare, summer camps, etc.

Attend church, PTA meetings and other places parents hang out to find out how they are coping with being with their children so often.

I hope these tips help!

Nicholl McGuire is a Freelance Writer, Author & Poet. Her latest book is When Mothers Cry at

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