What I Don't Like About Being a Parent Sometimes

Sometimes as parents we have to say the kind of things that others are too fearful of saying.  But the truth is, there are many things I like about being a parent just like any other parent like: being able to teach, love, care, and do other things that assist my children and make me a better person.


As for the things I don't like:


1.  Feeling more like a maid, a babysitter, a teacher, and a friend, but not much of a mom at times.  But then again, aren't we everything to our families anyway (lol).
2.  Watching money leave my bank account as quick as I get it to pay for yet another thing related to children.
3.  Having to put off buying things for myself more times than I care to mention.  I recall years going by of wearing clothes from my 20s because I couldn't afford to buy a new wardrobe. Now I am back in that season again when the weight is increasing and things are getting tighter (sigh).
4.  I noticed that people seem to care about you more because you are a mother, those "dear children...sweet kids..." If the children weren't around that phone wouldn't ring as much and the generous giving wouldn't be unheard of--this was so true prior to having children.
5.  I feel pressure to overachieve at whatever I do from organizing to working a job, because of the children.  Yet, there is no appreciation, just more requests for more things.  I have to keep reminding them to say, "Thank you."
6.  Invites to activities, fliers from school, and catalogs in the mail child-related always asking for money/donations/volunteering.  Just teach my kids!  I have enough to do and my money can't cover everything, so don't put my children up to asking me!
7.  I seriously wouldn't deal with certain family members and in-laws or acknowledge a single holiday (including birthdays) if it wasn't for my children--can't wait until they get older--FREEDOM!
8.  Constantly reminding children to clean up, put up, shut up, get up, hold your head up...you know the rest while dad sighs.  "Look, I was fine until we pro-created, so get over it," my eyes warn.  "Better yet, you come over here and help with the children, thanks," my feet do my talking for me.


That's it, I'm done.  If you feel frustrated about being a parent sometimes, by all means, please share.  I don't know your family or your friends and besides, they wouldn't care because they are most likely having their share of issues too.  But what keeps many of us from speaking out loud or talking with a counselor, because there is always that one mom who has lost a child warning, "You best appreciate what you have because you never know one day you might lose a child."  So true.  But we are entitled to express times of frustration so that we aren't the ones on television one day walking with our hands behind our backs in handcuffs.


Hats off to all the moms who are at home with children during school breaks!  May God be with you and I! 


Nicholl McGuire, Author of When Mothers Cry

When I Had Babies...I Didn't Anticipate How Much My Life Would Change

From the person within to the fathers who helped me create life, I had no clue how much life would change. 
 
  • No more looking out for just me.
  • No more eating just for me.
  • There isn't a day that you don't think of your children.
  • Men change and don't see you, the mother, the same way.
  • Relatives and friends treat you differently (more respect, sometimes include your children, want to help...)
  • Career focus is not what it use to be.
  • Everything costs more.
  • You take your faith in God more seriously.
  • Bodily changes.
  • Friends come and go.
  • Jobs come and go.
 
As far as I remember, I didn't want the marriage and parenting side of life that God said I would have one day.  His message was prophetic back in 1997, as much as I thought I wouldn't be a mom and wife one day, God said, "But you will be." (Came to pass with the first child in 1999).  It wasn't his command, it was just a fact.  He knew things about me, that I didn't know.  Like feeling unloved, bored with life, desiring more, and looking to a man (or men) to fulfill voids.
 
In time (a period of 20 plus years), I didn't realize how much of myself got lost in relationships (married before, married again--children in both--dating in between).  There were babies--not just one, but four!  Different times in my life, usually the highs, brought on the news we were expecting.  It seemed that the babies came when I was trying to do more for me--they were like champagne toasts to humanity.
 
The dreams, plans, new faces, and challenges that came along in my world didn't show up without a baby bump, a baby walking, talking, or in school.  As their milestones showed up, so did mine.  In some cases, I improved emotionally and physically, but then there were those times that I didn't see anything positive--no progress just regress financially, spiritually and mentally. 
 
Back in the early stages of parenting, how could I see the light at the end of the tunnel when a dad fell into temptation too many times to count and brought unnecessary issues to our home?  Then there was the crying and needs of children that seemed to come in the middle of arguments, phone ringing, doorbell chiming, and aha moments.  Fast forward past the time of separation, divorce, new job, and relocation, and along comes another man in my life and two more babies on the way and far too many issues to count--I still am upset about some things as I write.  Prior to the birth of the second two babies, I will be the first to admit, I didn't leave any room for my Creator.  But when I realized that I couldn't do this parenting thing without a Savior, is when he made life a tad bit easier for me.
 
The closer I walked with my Lord, the more I could see purpose and the more I realized just how much these children were His than mine.  I was a mere vessel created for someone else's plan.  Now that my sons are no longer babies, I feel somehow empowered and overwhelmed with the desire to finally get it right for me, not for a man and not for them, but for me!  It's yet another journey, but this time I am willing to stick to the righteous path since I have young boys who are great motivators.
 
Nicholl McGuire
 

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