When Life Throws You a (Parenting) Curve Ball

I have heard my share of negative stories from parents about their children.  They talked as if they weren't responsible for anything concerning their children's behaviors.  Broken relationships, dysfunctional parenting, and lots of blame.  "I just don't know why my daughter acts like that...I can't believe my son did such a thing...My kids are just like their no-good daddy...I can't stand my children's mother!"

Life threw these parents unexpected curve balls and rather than work to catch them, they dropped their balls giving the devil an easy run to home base.  As effective parents we fight for what is right concerning our children, we go after those dropped balls and work to get that devil out!  Ineffective parents don't care and most often look for excuses to get out of playing the game.

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When one lays down with another and procreates he or she doesn't think too deeply prior to the love-making just how much his or her life might be affected if one becomes pregnant.  Before long, a newborn is being held in the arms of parents he or she trusts wholeheartedly that his or her emotional and physical needs might be met.  Yet, sometimes things happen, unexpected things that leave us heartbroken and stressed to the point that we feel like we are going to snap!  We don't anticipate family illnesses, job losses, major expenses, disabilities, depression, break-ups, death, or much else. All we choose to see is what we deem is beautiful, sweet, nice, and doesn't inconvenience us too much--oh that sweet little baby.  Then here comes yet another trial to throw us out of those blissful times that never seem to last as long as those troubling ones.

Parenting isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be too difficult.  Sometimes we manufacture our own challenges and downfalls simply by not being present, pro-active, and daring when it comes to raising children. For instance, we receive a phone call about our children misbehaving at school and the issues need our immediate attention. The bad news breaks our routine of having an ordinarily peaceful lunch at work.  It is at that moment the voice on the other end of the phone is waiting to see what we might do.  Leave a job, discipline the child in-person or via phone, or hurriedly excuse ourselves from the call, remain at work and wish the problem away.

Before children, we were primarily concerned about ourselves and when things suddenly happened we dealt with them without thinking too much.  But isn't it interesting how much we ponder once we have children and whether what they say or do is worth acting upon, "How much is it going to cost to fix, and what more might I have to do if I should say yes to something I am not completely convinced about?"  We carefully manage situations, talk with others (or vent) about our parental concerns, and other times we wonder, "Now why would the Creator of the universe pick me to be a parent?"

Nicholl