Anytime a parent is faced with a child that resorts to physical violence it can be very stressful. Although it may seem like a serious, deliberate action, that is not always the case. Before you jump to any conclusions or harsh punishments, step back and look at the entire situation. The most important thing you can do is to remain calm. Do not add to the chaos of the moment by shouting or becoming physical yourself.
It may sound kind of silly, but you need to ask yourself a series of questions to help you find the root cause of the outburst. In a case that involves hitting or another violent act, it should be stopped immediately before you begin to research the bigger issue. A number of different factors may have been at work that would cause a child to react in such a way. What happened the moments before the child lashed out? Did the child possess the vocabulary needed to express their anger or frustration? How do you as a parent react in explosive situations?
Your job as the parent will be to teach your child how to handle similar situations in the future. Children still need plenty of supervision and that may help to eliminate these types of situations. A parent or other supervisor will be able to stop a situation from escalating to the physical point. Those interventions can be used to educate the child about what kind of things he or she can do in the future when they are beginning to feel hostile. If a child continues to respond with violence, it may be necessary to seek out the help of a professional.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: Free Audio Recordings
Jason K Johnson (MSW) has worked with hundreds of toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, Bi-polar, and SEVERE emotional/behavioral issues.
Walmart Values of the Day
Every day Walmart features products that you can save big! They offer significantly reduced items in their clearance section! Find baby items, household goods, electronics and more! I personally check this site before I use any other. I hope this helps some of you save money today. Also take advantage of their free shipping charges by having the item sent to the store then pick it up once it arrives.
How Children Benefit From Bedtime Stories
For generations, the nightly ritual of bedtime stories has been a precious tradition of parents and children. The kids look forward to it especially if both parents have been away the whole day at work. Parents, on the other hand, see it as a way to give their kids their undivided attention.
Young children, especially toddlers are so active and hyped up throughout the day that getting them to settle down and prepare for sleep can be challenging. Reading bedtime stories is an effective calming activity. While they listen to mom and dad read them a story, they slowly wind down as their excess energy gradually dissipates.
Having a clear routine is important in a child's development. It forms the basis for self-discipline among other things. Reading bedtime stories helps in establishing routines. By constantly doing this routine at the same time every night, children will know that there is a time for playing and a time for sleeping.
As they look forward to this special bonding time with his parents, they will associate it with going to bed and sleeping. This slowly makes going to bed less of a struggle as they get used to the routine.
Listening to stories improves the child's listening skills and imagination, and thus helps in the development of the child's intellect. Curiosity is heightened and encouraged as they ask questions about the story they just heard.
Lastly, the basis of open communication between parent and child is also established through this nightly routine. Parents will learn their children's interests through their questions and choice of bedtime stories. On the part of the children, they learn to express to their parents their thoughts and feelings when they make comments, feedback, or questions on the story.
Beth Dedrick has been writing articles about children for the past four years. She also likes to write about paper products, including 5x7 envelopes and when it is appropriate to use colored envelopes.
Beth Dedrick
Staying Calm: Tips for Parents
My beloved car had just blown its engine, pregnancy was making
me crazy, and we had no money in our pockets (or anywhere else).
When I slammed our front door, I knocked the only plant I had
managed to keep alive all season off the windowsill. Just as
the pottery hit the floor and cracked, so did I. I lay face
down in black potting soil and pottery shards and let my Labrador
lick the tears off my dirty face.
That was just before the birth of our first child. Since
then, there have been countless times when I've wanted to
curl up on the carpet and scream, but the ever-watching kids
have made that a luxury I can no longer afford.
It's more difficult now, too. One of the biggest surprises
of parenthood is the absolute anger we
can feel in no time - and with very little provocation.
Start with a sleep-deprived parent, throw in a troubled
teenager, a whining child, or a colicky newborn, and even
the coolest cats can lose their minds.
Releasing our anger in the wrong ways can lead to emotional
and physical scars on our kids. When infants are shaken,
even for one heated moment, they can die. And it takes only
a moment to harm their little souls.
As they watch us, these young ones are paying particular
attention to the way we handle difficult situations. And
what we model for them will, in large part, determine their
success at controlling their own tempers as they grow up.
So, even in the face of total exasperation, we must stay
calm. For a long time, the advice has been to simply go
away for a moment and count to ten, but, as all parents know,
sometimes that's not so easy. A small child may be
frightened when mommy or daddy leaves to take a time-out. Sometimes
counting to ten just doesn't do it, and there's no time
to count to 100.
So here are a few more tips, compiled just for parents, to
help you deal with anger and stay calm with your kids.
PREVENTATIVE MEASURES
The best time to work on staying cool is before you're hot.
*Declare a zero-tolerance policy on the out-of-control temper.*
You must decide, for yourself, that behaving this way is
simply not okay. Remind yourself that it is possible to manage
your emotions. Think back to times when you were successful at
controlling your anger. Perhaps you bit your tongue rather
than hollering at the boss. Or you were just about to let it
fly at your husband when your in-laws called and suddenly you
couldn't believe the sweetness of your own voice. We all
have the power to suddenly change our mood.
*Be prepared.* Lots of things can go wrong each day; be ready
for them. For example, if you've got babies, pack a bag with at
least one extra shirt for everyone, a complete outfit
for each toddler, and several for the infants. Stow them in the
back of the car with extra diapers and plenty of baby wipes.
*Is there anything specific that triggers your anger?*
Keep a journal for those times when you feel like you're ready to
fly off the handle. Do you notice any patterns--time of day,
hunger level, lack of exercise, a full calendar? Even noise
from a TV or radio can contribute to a feeling of over-stimulation,
which can set off an emotional explosion. Create a nurturing
environment for yourself.
*Take care of yourself.* We're more likely to react to a situation
- rather than to simply act - when we haven't gotten enough
sleep or we haven't been eating right. Start your day with a light
breakfast that includes carbohydrates and protein. Then continue
to eat for energy throughout the day.
*Daily exercise* provides a physical release to help you control
anxiety and aggression throughout the day. A half-hour of
kickboxing can release tension you didn't even know you had.
*A regular routine of prayer and meditation* can calm a chaotic
mind. Sit quietly for at least 15 minutes a day. Practice a
few yoga stretches when things get tense.
*Decide how you'll deal with certain situationS before they arise.*
What makes you want to blow your top? Whether it's toddler temper
tantrums or the preschooler's occasional whine, determine how you
will handle those things beforehand - while you're calm.
*Understand your child.* Read up on child development and put
yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself: "What's it like to be
two and not have the skills to express what you want?" "What's
it like for a newborn who finds herself with a gut-wrenching
bellyful of gas and doesn't understand why it hurts?" Kids
act the way they do for a reason. Often, there's a developmental
milestone associated with a child's behavior. Understanding the
reasons behind our kids' actions can go a long way in helping
us develop a sense of empathy, compassion and, ultimately,
tolerance.
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT
*Take a few deep breaths.* Diaphragmatic breathing helps reduce
stress. This will also give you a time-out, long enough to make
a rational assessment of the situation and to help you regain a
sense of control.
*Visualize* yourself as the cool, calm, person you strive to be.
Whom do you know who embodies these traits? Imagine this person's
reaction to the situation.
*Stop. Think. Then speak.* Remind yourself of the importance of
keeping yourself under control. If you feel anger building inside,
don't pick up a baby. Ask for help or wait until you are calm.
*Consciously lower your voice.* Yelling will only make a child
angry and defensive, and it can scare a young child. A soft
tone says you're in control.
*Don't catastrophize.* Resist the temptation to blow something
out of proportion. Avoid using the words "always" and "never"
when you talk to yourself and others.
*Distract yourself.* Is there any way you can laugh about the
situation? Ask yourself: what is the real significance of the
situation that triggered my rage? It's more important to
model a healthy approach to stress than it is to win certain
battles. Choose those battles carefully.
Afterwards, reinforce your love for the child and retreat to
assess the way you handled the situation. What did you do
right? What will you do differently next time?
About the author: Susie Cortright is the founder of momscape.com - http://www.momscape.com - a website devoted to helping busy parents find balance. Read her reviews about behavior modification programs, including programs designed to help you eat for health and enjoy exercising here:http://www.momscape.com/thinkrightnow/reviews.htm |
Diagnosis Down Syndrome - How to Handle the News That Your Baby Has DS
If you are interested in reading about the condition known as Down syndrome, by now, you have probably read the definitions and history of Langdon Down's identification of the syndrome. You have probably read medial articles that explain the symptoms of Down syndrome, both physical and mental. You understand that the genetic condition causes significant developmental delays. You have probably seen pictures of both adults and children with DS.
But no investigation into the topic of Down syndrome is complete without delving into the actual lives of people and families who have been involved with a person who has Down syndrome, or meeting a few people who have the condition themselves. Viewing such folks on television does not count.
If you have a new baby who has been diagnosed with Downs, or have had prenatal testing that indicates that your child has Downs syndrome, do yourself a favor and find out what the condition means in the real world. When you find out what it is really like to live with a child or an adult who has Down syndrome, you will be better able to cope with the reality of the situation.
Clinical and educational information is all well and good, but does not thoroughly inform you.
First, read up on the subject. Read articles written by the parents of children with Down syndrome. Then, contact local organizations that can put you in touch with families affected by Down syndrome. Talk to the parents of children with this developmental disability. It may be very helpful to you to meet a person who actually has Downs syndrome.
Forty years ago, a family who had a new baby or young child with Downs was routinely encouraged to place the child in an institution. Today, prospective parents who receive the diagnosis through prenatal tests are often encouraged to abort the child. Both instances can be viewed as equally inhumane, in that the personhood of the child is not considered.
As medical technology has advanced, and society has advanced toward a more considerate appreciate and acceptance of differences and disabilities, the prospect of aborting a child with Down syndrome seems backward thinking and inhumane.
If you are pregnant and your doctor has suggested prenatal testing, go for it. Even if you are staunchly pro-life, the knowledge that you gain is valuable. Imagine, not having the tests, and suddenly being confronted with such a frightening diagnosis for you new baby. Chances are you would be shocked and confused.
But, if you are prepared ahead of time, you can research al the aspects of Downs syndrome so that you can greet your new baby without prejudice, without worry, or the feat that can be devastating without preparation.
Any child should be welcomed into the world with acceptance and joy. A new baby deserves unconditional love and should not be introduced to the world by anxious, fearful parents.
In this life, we are all flawed. A child with Down syndrome is first a child, everything else is secondary.
In any event, information will make life easier for you and your child.
http://hubpages.com/hub/10-Ways-A-Baby-With-Down-Syndrome-Will-Improve-Your-Life is an article by a mother who had a child with Down syndrome 37 years ago. She tells how her life has benefited from living with her daughter and relates the positive aspects of dealing with a child with a developmental disability. http://hubpages.com/hub/Down-Syndrome---Strategies-for-Raising-a-Child-With-Down-Syndrome is an article that suggests ways to help your child with Downs syndrome lead a healthy and fulfilling life. |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Custom Search