As a teenager in the late 60's I couldn't have imagined my life as anything other than being a housewife and mother, a June Cleaver look-a-like. Maybe a "little" job that was cute and didn't require much work or brain power on my part. But that was not to be. Ultimately, I became the parent of a mentally challenged child.
My son was born with a heart defect that required surgery. A tissue graft in his heart failed and blocked blood to his lungs. He went through renal failure as a result. As a believer in a higher purpose, when my son was so near death after the second heart surgery, I swore an oath to take care of him despite my limited understanding that the "normal" child was gone and not sure what would be left.
During my son's crisis a black minister from Louisiana with a daughter facing a similar crisis, whispered these words of comfort "God gives no more than you can handle." When times have been difficult, that phrase has been my rock. I can handle whatever the trial, because God gives no more than I can handle.
My son's father couldn't "deal" with the residual health and learning disability issues and left a few years later. I was left with a special needs child and the courts back in the late 70's did nothing to protect his future needs.
The situation sounds grim, but we managed. I had to for my son and his sister's sake. As the saying goes, "failing was not an option". When I began my journey as a single parent I had a $7.00 an hour job in a flower shop and an order for child support that seldom came. We managed because I had no choice. Meanwhile, I became a better person for the struggle. A hobby a few years later became a livelihood and now makes an income six times that beginning salary.
My son and I still live together after all these years. I own my own house, I have a new car, and I have a career as a writer. My son and I travel together, go to movies and both our lives are filled with outside activities for each of us. I am a firm believer, you make your life what it is. I decided a long time ago to have a happy life despite the challenges thrown my way. Over the years I have faced my son's health crisis', job lay-offs and my daughter's diagnosis of being bi-polar. Despite it all I chose to be happy. I am a successful person on so many levels.
My crowning achievement is my son. He functions academically as a 8 or 9 year old. But as an adult, socially he is charming, personable and friendly. He is everything a parent could want in a son. He takes his job seriously. He is a hard working young man who still opens doors and isn't afraid to scrub the toilet while I do laundry.
Not everyone would consider my situation a blessing but I do. The struggles have been rewarded time and time again. I stood at my son's bedside and made a promise. That promise of "I'll endure whatever hardship" has turned out to be "heaped with blessings". My life is not what I expected, but it is richer than I could have ever imaged. Having a disabled child is not the end of the world, it's the beginning of a more rewarding life filled with unconditional love and great joy.
Charlotte Hoaks is a successful technical writer in the Houston area. She and her son are members of the Association of Retarded Citizens (ARC) a support organization for the disabled. Charlotte uses her skills as a writer to share information and inspire others to be more pro-active with assistance for the disabled. The disabled are the "silent" minority. They only have a voice when others advocate for them.
5 Things a Single Father Should Know About Their Kid's School
Single fathers can feel cut out of the picture when it comes to staying on top of the events and procedures at their kids' schools. There is plenty of information to handle, from homework to after school activities. Some announcements may come home with kids and get lost. But these ten tips can make life much easier for everyone:
First, make sure teachers know that the kids have a single father so there won't be any misunderstanding. Don't depend on the kids to relay this information. Make the information known and be clear about it.
The second step is to be sure to make it to Back to School night, PTA meetings and any other opportunities to meet and connect with school administrators and teachers. At Back to School Night teachers may describe classroom rules and leave contact numbers. They may even describe the course curriculum. Back to school night gives single fathers a chance to gauge the tone of the school, general procedures and the appearance and layout of each of their children's classrooms. It is an important way to learn about a school.
A third point? Be sure to ask about free tutoring service or resource rooms in the school. Many schools offer after school tutoring for free. Sometimes, teachers can recommend names of experienced tutors. Busy parents sometimes can use these services to help their children succeed. Find out where resource centers are located and where free tutoring takes place.
The fourth step? Be pro-active and be sure to check for papers and announcements that come home with children. Have a file folder set up for each class as well as school activities. If there are permission slips to be signed, due dates for major projects or other information, stick it in the appropriate folder and consider having sticky tabs with due dates for important papers. Know if the school has a procedure for clear communication about homework and due dates.
Finally, it is vital to understand a school's policy about absences or missed school days. Some won't let children return to school without a permission slip. Other schools have policies that allow only so many sick days per semester or year.
O'Neil is a eager internet newbie in the art of writing articles. His newest interest is in girl games. So come visit his recommended where you can play girl games. You can venture it his most popular section of games, dress up games.
First, make sure teachers know that the kids have a single father so there won't be any misunderstanding. Don't depend on the kids to relay this information. Make the information known and be clear about it.
The second step is to be sure to make it to Back to School night, PTA meetings and any other opportunities to meet and connect with school administrators and teachers. At Back to School Night teachers may describe classroom rules and leave contact numbers. They may even describe the course curriculum. Back to school night gives single fathers a chance to gauge the tone of the school, general procedures and the appearance and layout of each of their children's classrooms. It is an important way to learn about a school.
A third point? Be sure to ask about free tutoring service or resource rooms in the school. Many schools offer after school tutoring for free. Sometimes, teachers can recommend names of experienced tutors. Busy parents sometimes can use these services to help their children succeed. Find out where resource centers are located and where free tutoring takes place.
The fourth step? Be pro-active and be sure to check for papers and announcements that come home with children. Have a file folder set up for each class as well as school activities. If there are permission slips to be signed, due dates for major projects or other information, stick it in the appropriate folder and consider having sticky tabs with due dates for important papers. Know if the school has a procedure for clear communication about homework and due dates.
Finally, it is vital to understand a school's policy about absences or missed school days. Some won't let children return to school without a permission slip. Other schools have policies that allow only so many sick days per semester or year.
O'Neil is a eager internet newbie in the art of writing articles. His newest interest is in girl games. So come visit his recommended where you can play girl games. You can venture it his most popular section of games, dress up games.
Dating Tips For Single Parents
It is not easy balancing being a single parent with dating. Single parents face many other challenges than those who are just single and dating. Single parents may feel apprehensive when beginning to date. Here are some dating tips for single parents to help ease that nervousness.
For those who have already taken the plunge into dating; some single parenting tips to help you discuss your new dating life with your children follow the dating tips for single parents.
List
Make a list of qualities your dating partner must have, qualities you would like them to possess and qualities that absolutely will not work for you.
Some desirable qualities might include patience with children. If a long term relationship is your goal; a desire to have a family might be important. Common interests and mutual hobbies could be qualities you would like but are not necessarily required. Qualities that you do not want may include a party lifestyle or lack of motivation. You may also want someone who has an understanding of the demands of parenthood or at least a desire to learn about those demands.
Mindful
Be mindful of your appearance when in social settings. Try not to wear attire that is provocative. You don't want to give the impression that you are readily available. Conduct yourself in a manner that says you have respect for yourself and others will respond accordingly.
Sex
Sex is usually an awkward subject when you are a parent. Professional dating advice for single parents recommend that you do not engage in sexual activities on the first date. In fact, their dating advice for single parents caution against sexual activity until you have established a relationship that is intimate and shows promise of developing into something long term. Sexual relations too early in a relationship that then ends can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem.
Friendship
Work on building a social framework of friends. Participating in social activities with friends is a good way to meet people with like interests in a nonthreatening group environment. Don't be afraid to initiate conversation and introduce yourself to someone you are interested in.
Dates
If friends want to set you up with a blind date; ask for the persons email. Begin corresponding with the person via email so you can begin to learn about the person. Conversation will flow more easily when you already have an idea of the person's interests. This will help ease nervousness on the first date; and hopefully you will have a more enjoyable date.
Explaining dating to your children may seem difficult and awkward. It needn't be stressful. For parents already dating; single parenting tips to help you follow.
1. Graphic details of your dating are not necessary. A simple response that you are spending time with a close friend will suffice in the beginning. If a relationship progresses into more; you can begin to discuss you dating partner with your children. Omit intimate details even if you have a teenager.
2. If dating begins to turn into a more long term relationship; you may consider an introduction. Prepare in advance for the meeting. Professionals recommend to parents dating, this single parenting tip: public areas such as a parks or a zoo make neutral places to introduce a dating partner to your children.
3. Give your children time to adapt to this new person who is getting so much of your attention. Expect your children to have questions and concerns. Answer their questions honestly and keep the communication lines open. Reassure your children they are still your priority and you dating does not change how you feel or take care of them.
Hopefully when you begin dating; these single parenting tips [http://www.singleparentdatingadvice.com/dating-tips-for-single-parents.html] will make the transition for your children go more smoothly.
Pieter West travels the world on a regular basis and have written about numerous subjects. He has an extensive knowledge about, finances, DIY, parenting advice and many more subjects.
For those who have already taken the plunge into dating; some single parenting tips to help you discuss your new dating life with your children follow the dating tips for single parents.
List
Make a list of qualities your dating partner must have, qualities you would like them to possess and qualities that absolutely will not work for you.
Some desirable qualities might include patience with children. If a long term relationship is your goal; a desire to have a family might be important. Common interests and mutual hobbies could be qualities you would like but are not necessarily required. Qualities that you do not want may include a party lifestyle or lack of motivation. You may also want someone who has an understanding of the demands of parenthood or at least a desire to learn about those demands.
Mindful
Be mindful of your appearance when in social settings. Try not to wear attire that is provocative. You don't want to give the impression that you are readily available. Conduct yourself in a manner that says you have respect for yourself and others will respond accordingly.
Sex
Sex is usually an awkward subject when you are a parent. Professional dating advice for single parents recommend that you do not engage in sexual activities on the first date. In fact, their dating advice for single parents caution against sexual activity until you have established a relationship that is intimate and shows promise of developing into something long term. Sexual relations too early in a relationship that then ends can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem.
Friendship
Work on building a social framework of friends. Participating in social activities with friends is a good way to meet people with like interests in a nonthreatening group environment. Don't be afraid to initiate conversation and introduce yourself to someone you are interested in.
Dates
If friends want to set you up with a blind date; ask for the persons email. Begin corresponding with the person via email so you can begin to learn about the person. Conversation will flow more easily when you already have an idea of the person's interests. This will help ease nervousness on the first date; and hopefully you will have a more enjoyable date.
Explaining dating to your children may seem difficult and awkward. It needn't be stressful. For parents already dating; single parenting tips to help you follow.
1. Graphic details of your dating are not necessary. A simple response that you are spending time with a close friend will suffice in the beginning. If a relationship progresses into more; you can begin to discuss you dating partner with your children. Omit intimate details even if you have a teenager.
2. If dating begins to turn into a more long term relationship; you may consider an introduction. Prepare in advance for the meeting. Professionals recommend to parents dating, this single parenting tip: public areas such as a parks or a zoo make neutral places to introduce a dating partner to your children.
3. Give your children time to adapt to this new person who is getting so much of your attention. Expect your children to have questions and concerns. Answer their questions honestly and keep the communication lines open. Reassure your children they are still your priority and you dating does not change how you feel or take care of them.
Hopefully when you begin dating; these single parenting tips [http://www.singleparentdatingadvice.com/dating-tips-for-single-parents.html] will make the transition for your children go more smoothly.
Pieter West travels the world on a regular basis and have written about numerous subjects. He has an extensive knowledge about, finances, DIY, parenting advice and many more subjects.
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Parenting Your Teen Book Written By Renowned Parenting Experts
How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. Ebook & Audio Book, DVDs, CDs, Transcripts & Reports.
Parenting Classes Are Widely Accepted Online Across The Nation. Online Classes Are Perfect For Court Mandated Requirements, Legal Obligations Or For Personal And Parenting Skills. Take The 4 Hour Online Class To Receive A Certificate Of Completion.
Are You Co-parenting With Someone Who Is Crazy, Diagnosed With Mental Illness Or A Substance Abuser? Are You Constantly In Court Fighting Over Child Custody Or Visitation Issues? Learn Strategies To Help You And Your Children Cope With A Tough Situation. Click Here!
Avoid Sun Exposure For Children
The hotter months is a period available for almost all varieties of family free-spirited pursuit. Yet, children, in particular, are vulnerable anytime that they are subjected to sunshine and one should really have simple steps to give protection to them.
The earliest and most obvious main issue is, surely, that surrounding sunburn. The epidermis of a kid is hypersensitive and affords a poor screen towards the detrimental ultraviolet rays of the day. The consequence is sometimes super fast and hurtful skin impairment in the form of burning.
It is, obviously, wrong to always maintain small children totally enveloped by clothing or coverings in the outside any time the sun is out even if that would always be the approach to deliver the most complete defence to sun exposure. Yet, the unsafe rays from the sun could instill serious soreness and long lasting injury to youngsters.
There does exist a primary associated link concerning too much sun and the progress of skin cancers later in life. The greater and more numerous the exposure, the greater the risk of critical complications in the future.
Sunshine is at its most intense close to noon. Here is the perfect time frame to prevent direct exposure. Keep in the shade or cover up a little one with protective clothing during these times. It may well take only 10 or 15 minutes for irreversible damage to take place at this time of the day and before you can blink your boy or girl is vulnerable.
Too much sun will probably end up being extremely sore for any youngster. Quick remedies, which include the employment of drinking water or aftersun lotions, may ease the discomfort for some time however it will come back shortly after. Therefore, it is most effective to avoid this scenario if at all possible and to cover up and always keep in the shade during periods of strong sunshine.
Bear in mind, too, that when there is a wind or even a mild air flow, the surroundings may feel chillier. However the sun's rays will probably still damage the skin with the very same high intensity. The same applies to bathing, as sun light can permeate water extremely effectively.
The answer for staying away from harmful skin injury generated by the sun's rays is straightforward. Steer clear of direct exposure at instances of maximum strength by using the shade or clothing and, at other times, always keep exposure to a minimum.
By Dr. Mark ClaysonVisit Health Disease Prevention for more health related information
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