The Faces of Motherhood

Mother, Mommie, Moma, Mom, Mamie, Madea. Whatever the choice, this time the dictionary just cannot do justice to the role. For most of us, from the day we find out that inside of us a seed, a life has been planted and given to our care, a bond begins that is simply indescribable.

As we run the course and watch our bellies grow, without an actual awareness our heart strings become more and more taunt for that little kick, or the flutter of movement that we can now claim as ours. Throwing up, swollen feet, backaches, wow, what a way to start a race. Oh too soon comes the pain which in that moment you feel is as worst as pain can be, then out comes our rite to be called a mother, aka "our little bundle of joy"...we'll see!

For the next months, and into years motherhood brings a salad of emotions. Fear acting as croutons, instinct as the cream de la cream of lettuces, with the contents of our salad of motherhood being fatigue, confusion, experiments, and tears. Now since most salads are just not as good without dressing, we dress ourselves in love. Not the love you have for your man, or your moma. This one is much different, much deeper, so much more attached to your soul. At times it is actually scary because you feel as if there is nothing that can come to change what is between you and your baby.

Giving time, time. We move through the days of teething, diarrhea, fevers, falling, walking, and talking until our little one begins to grow into their own. They suddenly have a way of doing "them." What "they" want, and being who they are, your warnings and your "no" is tested to the limits and we begin to blame it on their fathers side of the family or the kids at daycare, anything, anyone but our babies.

Years begin to fly by and on the first day of kindergarten your heart breaks as they go walking inside, just so independent, waving and smiling; tears begin to fall from your eyes that you can't really explain, the first time of many more to come, but its love.

As life would have it time passes, and days and nights come and go and you begin to see your baby growing like a weed. The next thing you know high school is kicking down the door and boys or girls are ringing the phone off the hook, hormones are raging and necks roll with attitude. Suddenly your advice sounds like a foreign language to them and all of a sudden they seem to think you appeared on the scene just recently and with absolutely no experience or knowledge of what, when or how things work in life.

Your days and nights begin to be filled with wondering if you have said the right things, done the right things. Do they really know how much you love them?

Sooner or later they become young women and young men that make choices, some good, and some bad. Some days you lend your opinion and they take it, others they seem to turn a deaf ear. You find yourself back in the days of when they first started to try to walk and you would let them go, your hands and arms posed around their little world of uncertainty, and they would wobble back and forth and you wobbled back and forth with them to try to keep them from falling. Even back then sometimes they fell, and if they did it hurt you and them, sometimes they took steps with great success and you cheered them on proudly.

Mistakes are made, incidents happen, lies are told (and yes, your child has lied to you too). Motherhood brings such a gambit of emotion that it's hard to define them all. Love for a child that creates hopes and dreams that are sometimes dashed and discounted as if you are a total stranger, yet love forges on.

Nights when they stay out longer than they are suppose to without calling and your mind takes you on a trip through hell, your stomach in knots you walk the floor and pray Gods protection, and its love that drives you. In they come finally and they just can't seem to understand why you're so upset, "I'm fine, moma, stop worrying so much" and off to bed they go, or at least that's what they try to do, in my house things went down a little different. Voices came from the dark asking where in the hell you've been, or just when you thought you made it safely in without her hearing you, if you were lucky, the thrown shoe would miss you, yet it's love that drives her.

Young adulthood and adulthood are real special places where you begin to find out who your children really are. Your lives bring changes in your conversations and you realize that they are not just your children; they are people with their own minds and lives. Motherhood now means loving them enough to let them go, let them be who they are, what they are, right where they are whether you like it or not. You do it out of love.

I would just like to take a moment and acknowledge the mothers who may have lost a child, you are warriors! Despite your hurt you march on, living, and loving. You epitomize motherhood; your love can not be stopped not even in loss. The faces of motherhood are many; they give, give, and give out of love, out of need, out of want. They take, take, take when they think they can give no more, they take love to the next level, and the next level.

Motherhood is a gift, a privilege given by God, a task that requires what no book can teach, Dr. Spock can give all the advice he wants and nothing, nothing can or will prepare you for the journey of motherhood. As sistas walk out motherhood we all need, and require a word of support, encouragement and advice to make it through, your road may help another mother make a decision or see things a little different. Share your words, your failures, and your triumphs at Sista's Common Sense Corner, http://www.sistascommonsensecorner.com.

Simple Summer Fun For Children

As a mom, you want your kids to stay active during the summer months. You definitely don't want them moping around the house, staring at the TV or playing video games. Here are some great outdoor games for kids that are sure to keep them active and busy all season long.

Remember when you were a kid and spent most of the summer playing outside with your brothers and sisters and the rest of the neighborhood. Remember the simple games you played? Most likely your kids will enjoy those summer activities as well.

Bring on the Water - Summer is hot, no doubt about it. But instead of letting the kids sit inside the air conditioning all day, bring out the water play. Fill up some balloons with water and let them have at it. You can also buy some inexpensive water guns and keep them stocked by leaving a plastic pitcher or two outside. Just remind kids never to throw water balloons or aim at someone's head or face.

You can also have races using balloons. Take a filled water balloon and have two players line up side by side. Place the water below between their heads and have them race to the finish line without bursting the balloon.

Old-Fashioned Fun Another fun outdoor children's game is hopscotch. You can get a quick refresher course on the rules by checking online. Use sidewalk chalk to make the hopscotch board on your driveway or sidewalk and have the kids get hopping.

Another popular outdoor game for kids is capture the flag. Play is simple. Divide the kids into two teams and give each team a different colored cloth to use as a home base. Set the bases at opposite ends of the yard. Set up two areas for jails or outs. As the kids try to capture the flag and get tagged, they are "out" and get sent to jail. If a player reaches the out base without being tagged, she can free all the other kids. The point of the game is to capture or steal the other team's flag without being tagged.

Egg and Spoon Races - Note - use raw eggs for this one. Give each child an egg and spoon. Create a race course, ideally with some obstacles like cones or balls that the kids need to dodge around. The kids will need to go all the way to the finish line and return again - without breaking the egg.

Hey - you knew there were plenty of great outdoor games for children that will keep them busy in the fresh air and away from the TV. Get them started and you will soon be excited to discover all the other fun summer activities kids will come up with on their own.

Andrea Stein is the founder of GirlMogul.com an online community for encouraging successful tween girls. Go to GirlMogul.com for your free book Girls Can Change the World and and find out about our free Girl Power Club for Tweens.

Keeping Your Children Entertained This Summer!

It can be difficult to know what to do with your children through the summer holidays. It's a long amount of time to keep them occupied and we all know that they need plenty of it! The following article has been written to help parents, baby sitter and child minders or the following summer holiday.

Don't forget that there are plenty of companies who sell children's toys and crafts for next to nothing. Don't think that you will have to pay a fortune to get things to keep the children occupied. You can also create craft materials from old house hold objects.

It is a good idea to keep the children away from computer games and the TV for a proportion of the day. If it's sunny there is no reason why the children cannot play outside or play a board game or craft on the patio or grass.

By purchasing craft packs you not only stimulate their mind and improve their hand-eye co-ordination but you create a fun activity. It's far better for their mental health to be doing craft and board activities as opposed to sitting in front of video games.

I would recommend searching on the net for deals on games for the children over the holidays. You can often get voucher codes and cash back options.

Don't forget that you can also take them out to feed the ducks or collect wild flowers. You can teach them about wildlife and also show them different types of flowers. Not only do you teach them something different but they are outside in the fresh air and communicating with people and wildlife.

Have fun this summer and don't forget that there are simple and cheap options to keep your child entertained this summer. I hope you enjoy yourself!

Joan Smith purchased from Baker Ross

What to Do When Your Child Screams and Cries Every Day at Preschool

A mom told me about her son who is three and has just started preschool. She described him as a kid who isn't normally really clingy, but when they even talk about going to school, he starts to scream. According to his teacher he screamed and cries for the full 2.5 hours for the first two weeks. She wondered if this is normal or is he just not ready?

Unfortunately for this mom and the child's teachers, the situation is difficult, but not that unusual. Without knowing this child personally, there are actually two conflicting answers I suggested. I asked her to think about each one, knowing that other parents have done both and felt confident in their decisions.

The solution I recommend most is to try to stick it out. I know how tough it is. A couple of things you might try, are to bring him to school during a time when he isn't in class. For example, if he goes three mornings, bring him in the afternoon or on an off day. Let him show you all around his classroom, pointing out the things that he likes best. Make a big deal about his cubby, his circle time mat, etc. Let him play with you on the playground. If he isn't anxious because he knows you aren't going to leave, he may enjoy himself. Then, when you bring him to school the next day, be sure to talk about something specific that he showed you in the classroom. Tell him you can't wait until he comes home to tell you how he enjoyed it in school.

Also tell him how lucky he is now that he's a big three year old and he gets to have special time with new friends and new experiences. You have jobs you have to do (pick something he doesn't like, such as going to a store) and he doesn't have to go with you to do your job. School is his special time and you are so proud of him because you know it's a little scary to go to a new place by yourself. Ask him to make you a picture that you can't wait to hang on your refrigerator. Be sure to ask his teacher to give him time to make that picture. They should also make a big fuss over the special picture he is making just for you.

Ask his teacher if he can bring a blanket, stuffed toy or other comfort item that he's allowed to keep with him. Slowly his teachers can wean him off of that item. One more thing you can do is have a play date with a child in his class. If he develops a friendship, he might be more excited about playing with this child in school and may look forward to playing with him again after school.

Not to confuse you, but I know another parent who went through a similar situation, and after two weeks she decided to pull her son out of school. She believed he just wasn't ready yet. He had some speech delays, and she chose to use that year to enroll him in speech. She also formed a play group so he could begin to meet and become friends with the children he would ultimately go to school with. She worked with him on the pre-reading and pre-math skills he would be missing in the three year old program, so he didn't "fall behind."

Her son is now in his twenties and she is sure she made the right decision at that time. In fact, she teaches in the same preschool where I teach. If you decide to do this, it won't be popular among other parents. You need to be strong in your conviction that you are doing the best thing for your child. At three years old, he has plenty of time left for school.

By Terri Akman

A bit about myself: I produced the Romper Room and Friends TV show and Bowling for Dollars when I worked for Claster Television in the '80's and '90's. With three kids of my own, I stopped working there in 1996. Today I am a freelance writer and preschool teacher and I am in the process of publishing my first book about preschool advice for parents. Please check out my blog at http://www.preschoolteach.blogspot.com

What to Do When Your Kids Eating Habits Are Out of Control

This is a common problem with families across the board. Obesity in children is on the rise and we need to help our children now, before they reach adulthood and start the bad eating cycle with their own families. Healthy eating starts at a young age. if you start your toddler off on healthy snacks like fresh fruits and veggie snacks you will start them off right. Now this is not to say that they will never touch junk food. Of course they will! But the important thing is that they will eat less of it. However sometimes no matter how hard you try your child's eating habits do get out of control and so does their weight.

Here are 5 things to do when your child's eating habits are way out of control.

Educate yourself: you and your family need to understand the reasons for bad eating habits and what healthy eating really means. The best way I know to get this accomplished is to read up about this on the Internet. I know that this takes a little time and effort but it is worth it for the health of your child and family.

It does not take a lot of expensive books and manuals to learn how to eat in a healthy way. You do not have to obsess about it just make a few adjustments and use common sense. Then examine your family's eating habits and you will understand why your child is getting into bad eating habits.

Lead by example: In order to take control of bad eating habits you will need to get the whole family involved. Many bad eating habits are simply learned from home. Children learn from examples and contrary to many people's opinions not all these habits come from peers.

So the first thing to do is to get all the family involved. Once the entire family is eating in a better way you will be surprised to see that your child will often follow the same example. Now this will not solve the complete problem but will go a long way to resolving the situation. When all the family are eating in a healthy way your child will not feel that they are being singled out and they will feel that they have support and can change their eating habits.

Do not nag your child this will only make matters worse: The biggest mistake in getting your child back on the healthy eating track is to be continuously reminding them that they are overweight and should stop eating junk. Constant nagging will push them to defy you and eat even more junk. I know because I have done this mistake myself.

Get rid of unhealthy food from the house: This is a hard thing to do. Go through all the food in the house and get rid of all the junk food. You know what they are...chips, candy, cakes and cookies etc. Do not forget to get rid of soda. The important thing to remember when you do this is that once you have got rid of the junk food you must be very sure not to buy any more from the grocery store.

Offer alternatives to junk food and soda: of course you cannot expect your family just to "cold turkey" when you get rid of junk food you will need to replace those tasty snacks with other things. Fruits are a good alternative. Sugar free drinks can replace juices and sodas. Try to encourage your family to drink more water. Sugar free ice cream can be taken in moderation. You can make fun veggie snacks; there are many quick recipes for healthy snacks on the Internet. Make use of a slow cooker to prepare a good meal for your family which will be ready when you come back from work. This will eliminate the fast food habit.

If you take action today you can get your child's eating habits back in control and when they lose those extra pounds you will both be happy that you made the sacrifices. Do not forget to compliment your child on their weight loss as this will make them realize that they have achieved something and will make them feel better about themselves.

Cathy Q is giving away a free mini course "5 Strategies to Lose Weight Fast and Keep It Off" to take advantage of this offer please visit http://lose10lbamonth.com