Unexpected Children Expenses

This past year I did something different when it came to saving money for the children's immediate expenses.  I chose to put coins and dollars aside from shopping trips; rather than give them money every time a holiday or a request was made.  Instead, I added the money to separate accounts I had made for them in the past.  Once an unexpected need came up, I took from that money rather than from bill money.

Those unexpected expenses were not the large kind, just those little annoyances.  Like the event in school, the needed school supply, or some thing that suddenly came out of nowhere like some needed tutoring materials.  Talk about save for a rainy day.  By cutting down on the gifts during the holiday season, rewarding less (that too was breaking the budget) and turning the children down on many unnecessary requests, money was being saved for those unexpected expenses.  I can tell you that for far too many years I had been worried over not being able to get certain things for household, children and me, because I spent every dollar up on something that I or they only wanted, but didn't really need.

Consider saving some money for yourself too, but for wise future decisions.  Those unexpected expenses can come out of nowhere for you too!  Turn yourself down sometimes when you find yourself just wanting another bottle of perfume, lipstick, household gadget, or fast food meal.  Save that money for the pressing need that will come later, and trust me, it will come most likely sooner than later!

So if you haven't done something like this already for the children, here's a simple to-do list:

1.  Visit a site like Ing Direct and make separate savings accounts for the children.
2.  Name the accounts.
3.  Have an automatic deduction each month go into each account from your main checking account or some other account.
4.  Take change from store visits and put away in a place that doesn't advertise that you have money (ie. change jar, envelope).
5.  Add cash once a month to your change jar.  This way you have cash on hand as well as monies in the bank for those unexpected expenses.
6.  Consider putting a set amount of money on a pre-paid card for older children.

ADDITIONAL THINGS TO CONSIDER:
7.  Teach children to give at least a dollar away to a non-profit group or someone in need.
8.  Allow children to handle their own money when they show they are responsible.  However, limit responding to their requests for more money.
9.  Set up a chore list.
10. Find other ways to reward them for helping out and doing well in school that doesn't break your budget.

Nicholl McGuire Author of When Mothers Cry

If You Have a Mental Disorder...

If you come from a long family line of mental illness, then chances are your son or daughter will have the same or something related to a similar mental illness.  But how do you know for sure?  Try paying close attention to your child's habits.  Share your concerns with your child's pediatrician and if that doesn't work, always get a second and third opinion.  Do your homework.  Find out what are the alternatives to prescription drugs if in fact your child does have a mental issue.  I noticed that many males in my own family as well as on my child's father's side have behaviors very similar to bipolar disorder.  Only one man in our families actually got tested and we found out that he as well as three of his sons also have bipolar disorder.

Some parents refuse to admit that they have mental problems.  Others know they have them, but refuse to see issues with their children.  Why allow a son or daughter go through life wondering, "What is wrong with me?" and why let others assume they know what is wrong with your child?

Here are a few websites worth visiting when researching mental illness and other disorders in children.

Auditory Processing Disorders

Bipolar Disorder in Children & Teens

Mental Illness in Children

Connection Between Attention Problems and Video Games, TV

If you have ever noticed some children are walking talking TV shows and/or video game characters, it's because they have been exposed to more television and video games than most.  Therefore, some parents have more problems trying to raise their children.  Misbehaving children are often bored, easily excitable, angry, and play out many of their emotions especially after watching characters in video games and television do destructive things.  Visit two websites that show that attention problems with children are directly related to video game playing and television watching.

It happens...40 something with children and mid-life issues.

You may be at a place in your life where your career isn't what you want anymore, the family is getting the best of you, and you really don't know where you fit in life anymore.  This writer reminds you of what your purpose is in life even through the challenges of mid-life blues.  This is written from a Christian perspective.  Read here.

Use TV Time Wisely

When two of my four children were very young, I didn't have cable so they watched many children's videos.  To date, for my other two, I still allow them to watch videos despite having cable service and I also encourage public television shows.  I like the fact that all are commercial free, but cable, well that is another story!

I am appalled at the ugliness of so-called children's programming.  It isn't any wonder that many of these children who sit and watch cartoons and other shows all day and night don't become crazy.  The amount of TV and now video gaming that children spend is ridiculous!

When I saw that my own children were watching too much TV and playing video games, that's when I started cutting back the time for each.  I realize that oftentimes they were getting too much TV and gaming time because they were quiet.  What parent doesn't want a child to be off doing something and out of his or her hair for a time?

One of the things I did was create a chart and allowed the children to have a say on what time and days would be good for them to watch TV and play video games.  Of course, there was a limit and they couldn't do both back-to-back.  For the younger children, I just tell them when the TV comes on and when it goes off each day.  Since they are still small, we haven't really needed to set a video gaming time, because their attention span for that sort of stuff isn't very long.  I am surprised when they can stay at a computer screen longer than an hour.  The two younger ones are 3 and 4.  The two older ones are now 11 and 12.

When you feel like your children are spending far too much time watching TV and playing video games,  let them know and be open to their suggestions on how they can cut their time.  I realized that I had to incorporate other things during the days they were out of school to keep them busy.  I came up with the following:  reading time, practice worksheets, chores, exercise time (outdoor/indoor play), TV/video time, snack/meal times--of course, and then a favorite, I call, "Do Nothing Time."  They are to go to their rooms and relax.  This way I can have some peace and quiet to myself.  Sure, there is a lot of scheduling involved and yes, some have said, "That sounds like the military."  But it works!  Just think we all have routines in our days that require a certain amount of time to get tasks accomplished, so what's the difference?  The results over the years have been great!  My two older sons use my ideas when they go elsewhere.  My other two look forward to their scheduled times to get tasks completed.  Overall, everyone is happy.

So utilize the TV not as a babysitter, but as a privilege.  Make it work for you!  When children misbehave, cut it off.  When they continue to be disobedient, remove it out of their rooms.  Unlike what our society tries to portray when it comes to TV being a must-needed item, it is a mere luxury.  All of our children must understand that everything on that box isn't real, necessary or is the truth!

Nicholl McGuire
Read more about my experiences raising children here.