Frequent Fussy Baby? Your Daily Baby Plan - Create It!

Everyday doesn't have to be drastically different than the last.  Sure, things will come up, but some part of the day should be routine when it comes to caring for your babies and toddlers.

Let's say that you have been to the doctor's with your baby and all is normal.  Yet, you notice your baby is often fussy at home.  It seems no matter what you do, there is an issue.  Now keep in mind, no two babies are a like.  Maybe your friend who also has that issue discovered it was something she was giving her baby and maybe another friend learned that the home environment was a cause of her baby often crying.  Sometimes there is no serious issue causing the fussy behavior, but what about the baby's routine or lack thereof?

Studies have shown that babies and children do quite well in routines.  Their expectation of when they will be fed, what typically happens in a day, and other things, makes them easier to manage.  In addition, you are better able to control your day. 

For instance, if your child typically eats at a certain time in the morning, but then for the next three days you were to feed him or her during the afternoon, what do you think will happen?  The child will become more fussy, irritable, and might possibly develop a health issue like gas.  But when the expectation is that he or she will eat at XYZ time, the baby is better able to handle his or her emotions because the little person knows the food is coming.

Sometimes parents get caught up in so many activities that they forget to look at the clock; therefore, it seems as if the day is going downhill.  However, no worries!  Even though you can't get the time back, you can slow things down or cut certain tasks out particularly when you have a fussy baby.  It is better to do that then to have to contend with whining, tantrums, and more especially in public!

If you don't have a baby plan, create one!  It is real simple and there are many calendars, tools, schedules, and more to help you.  Your baby plan is a guide that helps you stay on track with your child's activities during the day.  You list what you typically do, include times that you do it, and hang it up on a refrigerator or somewhere in your home that others can see.  This way, if you keep to the schedule, others who might have to watch your child will have no problem picking up where you left off.  Be sure to include things like: meal times, menus, diaper changing times, bath times, reading, swing time, floor play, etc.  By the week's end, review your schedule, if you keep to it, you might learn what patterns that might be contributing to your baby's fussy behavior.  For instance, I learned years ago that I wasn't changing my baby's diaper enough--go figure!?

May your days be well-planned and your baby less fussy!

Nicholl McGuire 

Childbirth - Not Every Mom Achieves This and Remains "Normal"

Ever wonder why some moms do the evil things they do to spouses and children after giving birth whether days or years ago? 

From bad-mouthing to deliberately doing deeds that put them in jail or six feet deep, for some moms their minds and bodies have been pushed beyond limits during childbirth.  Sooner or later their atmospheres are forever changed and so are their thoughts.  The idea of having a baby isn't as nice as it once was.  The relationship with a partner is much different and what one thought was love really wasn't.  Money woes push a new mother back to work before her mind can catch up. 

Personality disorders, anger outbursts, forgetfulness, hormonal challenges, sudden pain, decrease interest in sex, and more are experienced since having a baby or babies.  All of these issues tend to increase after putting the body through conception, pregnancy, delivery, recovery, and back to monthly menstrual cycles, perimenopause or menopause.  With so much happening with a new or old mother's mind, body and spirit, it isn't any wonder why so many women "lose it," so to speak. 

With childbirth occurring every moment of everyday around the world, many moms have smooth deliveries and short post-partum blues (or no problems at all); therefore, people don't think too much about the long-lasting effects as a result of childbirth related surgeries, emotional issues, and physical challenges.  Instead, the focus is on the new baby and his or her needs.  Meanwhile, mom is trying to get her mind and body back in shape, but one or both don't always come together as planned.

Typically a mother doesn't notice subtle changes in her personality, discerning people around her might have to point those differences out and encourage her to get help.  Yet, those who are not interested, empathetic, or concerned about mom and baby, will brush off whatever negative she has said and done.  They will simply ignore the signs and act as if what they saw or heard concerning that mother isn't very serious.  But once something bad happens and police are called, now relatives, friends and neighbors want to pay attention.  It could very well be too late by then.

Partners are usually the first to notice something isn't quite right with mom since giving birth, but usually don't say much or will argue.  Some, who are ill-equipped to handle a mother, will sweep things under the rug, pray about them, or ignore her cries.  When the writing is on the wall, read it!  Many negative scenarios between moms and children could have been prevented if people would have just taken notice when the mom was obviously showing signs she was overwhelmed.

When a mother is very young, barely old enough to take care of herself much less a child, why would anyone assume that her mind and body would be able to handle the demands of a baby upon delivery?  Yet, those who are disappointed that the poor child got pregnant in the first place will not be supportive.  The baby is her responsibility and she best take care of him or her or else face the wrath of a parent.

Childbirth trauma is a serious issue that doesn't just last within a seven day period after delivery, but goes on for months even years for many teens and women.  The stress of having to parent children for as long as they live under one's roof, increases over time depending on the age and health of the child. 

For many ladies, there is no break, no support system willing to watch children, no money to pay for help, etc. When there is no peace in an atmosphere that might not be even large enough to accommodate a family, there will be problems for mom.  She will feel as if she is going out of her mind.  Those observing her might notice the change within her, but then again, maybe not.  Seek counsel for whatever the issues and do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of children.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry   

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