It happens. You are angry with your partner and out of the clear blue your children do something that upsets you and before long you are emotional with all. The children are punished more than usual and your spouse is the last person you want to talk to. But what started the madness? Was it the tone of voice from you or a partner that morning? A bit too much silent treatment could have aided in the emotional swing. Sometimes repeated rejections from a partner who just doesn't want to have sex. All this and more can affect one's interaction or lack thereof with children.
A spouse or partner doesn't always see how he or she is impacting the household due to any number of reasons: stubborn ways, mood swings, irritability with others outside the home and more. We don't always have the mind capacity, energy, or time to deal with our partner's woes. So when the rain starts to pour, it won't be long before yet another storm.
Consider the following if you are having your share of the blues at home:
1. Take a break and be alone for as long as you can. If this means you have to sneak away, then do so for a time. Leave a note if you are going out of the home explaining why you really need some time to yourself. Think about how you can make things better at home and with children.
2. Don't always assume that a partner understands what you are going through. Write yourself a note airing out everything that is bothering you, pray, and then throw your cares away. This way you feel a little lighter and ready to face the world again and your family. Talk to a trusted friend or professional if need be.
3. Children will misbehave and you will not always be equipped to handle whatever they throw your way, so forgive yourself if you are a bit callous at times with them. Come up with a system to handle some of those household issues.
4. If you feel like you are obsessing about leaving the relationship, chances are you just might need to distance yourself from a partner. Seek the counsel of an attorney before you say anything about a divorce to anyone.
5. Keep in mind, you were once a child, would you want to walk on eggshells everyday around the family home? Make children feel safe even if you don't feel secure sometimes.
6. Note how you have been feeling since changing your diet, routine, a medicine, or something else. You might be going through a myriad of emotions because your body is fighting up against change.
7. If you feel you are losing your mind with a partner due to things he or she may be going through, communicate your concerns, but also take necessary action if there is no compromising.
May peace be restored within you and with those you love!
Nicholl McGuire
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