Stressed with Partner, Taking Out Issues on Children

It happens.  You are angry with your partner and out of the clear blue your children do something that upsets you and before long you are emotional with all.  The children are punished more than usual and your spouse is the last person you want to talk to.  But what started the madness?  Was it the tone of voice from you or a partner that morning?  A bit too much silent treatment could have aided in the emotional swing.  Sometimes repeated rejections from a partner who just doesn't want to have sex.  All this and more can affect one's interaction or lack thereof with children.

A spouse or partner doesn't always see how he or she is impacting the household due to any number of reasons: stubborn ways, mood swings, irritability with others outside the home and more.  We don't always have the mind capacity, energy, or time to deal with our partner's woes.  So when the rain starts to pour, it won't be long before yet another storm.

Consider the following if you are having your share of the blues at home:

1.  Take a break and be alone for as long as you can.  If this means you have to sneak away, then do so for a time.  Leave a note if you are going out of the home explaining why you really need some time to yourself.  Think about how you can make things better at home and with children.

2.  Don't always assume that a partner understands what you are going through.  Write yourself a note airing out everything that is bothering you, pray, and then throw your cares away.  This way you feel a little lighter and ready to face the world again and your family.  Talk to a trusted friend or professional if need be.

3.  Children will misbehave and you will not always be equipped to handle whatever they throw your way, so forgive yourself if you are a bit callous at times with them.  Come up with a system to handle some of those household issues.

4.  If you feel like you are obsessing about leaving the relationship, chances are you just might need to distance yourself from a partner.  Seek the counsel of an attorney before you say anything about a divorce to anyone.

5.  Keep in mind, you were once a child, would you want to walk on eggshells everyday around the family home?  Make children feel safe even if you don't feel secure sometimes.

6.  Note how you have been feeling since changing your diet, routine, a medicine, or something else.  You might be going through a myriad of emotions because your body is fighting up against change.

7.  If you feel you are losing your mind with a partner due to things he or she may be going through, communicate your concerns, but also take necessary action if there is no compromising.

May peace be restored within you and with those you love!

Nicholl McGuire

No More Family Drama: You Can Do It!

It's All In the Family: No More Family Drama: You Can Do It!: You don't want the family drama around you, so what better time to start then now?  Last year you had some difficult times, to the point...

Family Plans - When Things Just Don't Turn Out Like You had Hoped

From planning when to have a baby to when to send a child off to college, as much as a parent thinks he or she has everything figured out, along comes a surprise or two that throws everything off its course!  But before you give up, just know that there are always additional ways to achieve goals.  You don't have to let feelings of discouragement get in the way of your dreams.

1.  What is your Plan B, C, D...since Plan A is no longer doable?   Take a deep breath, with pen and paper in hand begin to write out what you need to do next.

2.  Check the Internet for new keyword phrases and other thoughts that come to mind related to your challenge. There may be answers in places that you least expect online.  (ie. yellow page directories, forums, videos, blog radio, online bible sites, free article web pages, and blogs like this one.)

3.  Seek out a source who "has been there, done that" to find out how he or she solved a similar dilemma.

4.  Walk away from the trouble.  Sometimes a trip away from the place that you first heard the bad news will clear your mind a bit.  When dealing with a troublesome individual, choose a different way to communicate with the person.  You might want to consider the help of a mediator.

5.  Re-evaluate your information.  At times we jump to conclusions without fully reading material or seeing the benefits of the challenges we face.

When you know that things are getting to be a bit difficult to plan/discuss, reconnect with yourself!  External people, places and things can rob you of your peace.  No matter what issue you are dealing with, try hard not to lose your mind in it!  Break down all tasks/issues into smaller things to do.  Keep away from those individuals who like to say, "What if...What are you going to do...If I were you...Why don't you..." far too often than you can handle their suggestions/concerns/problems.  The more you let their words permeate your ears, the more stressed you can become.

Have a good week!

Nicholl McGuire