There is No Sharing the Babies - Battling with the Need to Keep Them Close

Whether your baby is a newborn or an adult, there is an innate need to want to protect your child.  You will not feel comfortable with who is in contact with him or her for awhile or maybe not ever.  There is nothing right or wrong with being protective, but overprotection coupled with controlling actions can cripple your baby (son or daughter) emotionally and physically as well as cause a disconnect with others.  Consider the many children who speak openly in the media about childhood and how some were not permitted to visit relatives or enjoy the company of those who may have been a different ethnicity, social class, etc.  With social networking, this is changing and children are finding out the good, bad and ugly about relatives all by themselves.


Some children have great relationships with extended relatives because parents took the time to connect with them.  They invited family out to the home or visited with children.  They asked for assistance when they needed someone to watch a child.  They also made the time to entertain loved ones over the phone, email, or social networking sites.  There was always some kind of family involvement.  Therefore, a relationship was built with kin.  However, those who didn't do these things due to any number of reasons including being protective of children, didn't bother to create a meaningful connection with relatives.


When one refuses to share babies, doesn't like or trust relatives, or even wishes to be alone on an island with a child, you have to wonder what personal issues are happening within?  Although they might be justified, one will need to strongly consider what might be the short or long term impact on the child when he or she is being isolated from others. 


As parents, we must choose who are the good guys and who might be the bad guys and act accordingly.  However, we also must be mindful not to allow our past issues with others dictate our children's present and future for we are not promised to outlive them all.  Bridge the gap where you can before it's too late!


Nicholl McGuire 

Women in the Bible: A Mother Who Played Favorites

Holidays - Children Get Overwhelmed with Toys, Relatives, Food, Noise

Sometimes parents can be so happy being amongst adults that they lose track of time and forget that their fussy baby, cranky tween, and angry teen are simply tired.


Children are excited when they know they have a day filled with fun activities and that excitement may not come down for hours, sometimes days!  They rise early, talk much, do unusual things, and can drive parents insane due to all their energy.  Oftentimes, they will want to stay up on most nights even when they should be sleeping.


Parents will need to plan accordingly.  When children are starting to overwhelm parents, it is time to put things away and direct them to bed.  At times, adults don't comprehend this especially when they don't have children at home.  They will sometimes encourage mayhem, rather than help alleviate challenging situations.


If you are a new parent, speak up and explain to those who insist on keeping children entertained that enough is enough, there is always tomorrow.  Invite them over the next day if they want to spend more time with your baby or children.  Enlist the help of those who could put toys away, help with kitchen clean up, start a bath, read a bedtime story, or do something else.


Most parents enjoy the company of all, but even the best parents grow weary of family and all that comes with them, and so do babies and children.


Nicholl McGuire is a mother of four boys and the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.  She offers spiritual insight on a number of topics on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

Take Control of the Toys

If you want some peace during the holiday season, be mindful of those loud, noisy toys.  They are cute, fun and might keep a child occupied for awhile, but they also can be very annoying.  These loud items can try one's patience and bring out the worst in anyone who isn't use to so much sound.  Rather than be tempted to defend the toy, be rude to adults, swear at your kid, or run out the house, make plans for the loud toys.


When dealing with noisy toys, try doing the following:


1.  Rotate the toys.  Allow the child to play with one at a time.
2.  Don't put batteries in all the toys at once.
3.  Avoid bombarding small children with so much.
4.  Take away toys they aren't playing with and hide them away until you are ready to rotate them.
5.  Don't argue with a spouse or relative about a toy he or she has bought.  All will get played with eventually, just not at that moment.  If the issue becomes a big deal, resolve in your mind to rid yourself of the problem.  Remember the land of the broken toys in the movie, Toy Story?
6.  If a toy doesn't work, take it back to the store and exchange it for one that doesn't make any noise.
7.  Put a time limit on how long a child will play with certain toys, be sure to have quieter replacements.


The more ways you come up with regulating the toys, the better you will feel.  It is never a good idea to allow children to run amuck playing with everything all at once.  Noisy toys will drive you crazy!


Nicholl McGuire also maintains the blog, When Mothers Cry, see here.

Baby and Toddler Milestones, Dr. Lisa Shulman