Common Parenting Mistakes After Work: How to Connect with Your Kids

After a long day at work, many parents find themselves rushing to transition back into family life. It’s easy to fall into habits that can unintentionally create distance between you and your children. Here are some common mistakes parents often make when they come home from work, along with relatable tips to improve your family connection.

1. Rushing the Transition

It’s common to walk through the door feeling exhausted and immediately dive into household chores or screen time. This hurried approach can leave kids feeling neglected and craving attention.

Tip: Take a few minutes to unwind before jumping into tasks. Spend a moment reconnecting with your child—ask about their day or share a quick hug.

2. Overlooking Quality Time

After a busy day, it’s tempting to prioritize chores over quality time with your family. However, kids need undivided attention and connection.

Tip: Designate specific times each evening for family activities, like dinner or game night. This ensures everyone feels valued and strengthens your bond.

3. Using Screens as a Default

While it’s okay to let kids enjoy screens occasionally, relying on them as a default can lead to disconnection.

Tip: Encourage family activities that involve everyone, like cooking together or going for a walk. These interactions foster shared experiences and deeper connections.

4. Ignoring Emotional Check-Ins

After a hectic day, both parents and kids may have pent-up emotions. Ignoring these feelings can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

Tip: Make emotional check-ins a routine. Ask your child how they feel about their day, and share your own feelings in return. This practice can help everyone feel heard and understood.

5. Neglecting Self-Care

In the hustle and bustle of family life, parents often prioritize everyone else over themselves, which can lead to burnout.

Tip: Carve out time for self-care, whether it’s indulging in a hobby, exercising, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with a book. Remember, a happy parent is better equipped to be present for their child.

Transitioning from work to home can be challenging, but by being mindful of these common pitfalls, you can significantly enhance your parenting experience. Reconnecting with your child and prioritizing your well-being are essential steps toward nurturing a healthy family dynamic.

Take small steps to create a more connected family life, and enjoy the precious moments you share together!

Introverted Children: Why They Don't Share Much

Getting introverted children to open up can sometimes feel like trying to crack a safe. They often keep their thoughts and feelings close to their chests, which can be frustrating for parents eager to connect. Understanding why they might not share much about their day or feelings can help you foster a more open dialogue.

1. Personality Traits: Introverted children often prefer to process their thoughts internally. They may not feel the need to verbalize every experience, especially if they are comfortable with their own thoughts [3]. Unlike extroverted peers, who thrive on social interaction, introverts recharge through solitude and may find social situations draining.

2. Fear of Judgment: Many children, introverted or not, worry about how their thoughts will be received. They might fear being judged or misunderstood, which can lead to silence [3]. This is particularly true in school settings where peer dynamics can be intense.

3. Hormonal Changes: As children grow, hormonal changes can affect their mood and communication styles. During adolescence, for instance, fluctuations in hormones can lead to increased sensitivity and a desire for privacy, making them less likely to share their feelings or experiences [3].

According to experts, it’s crucial to create a safe space for introverted children to express themselves. Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, in her book "The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child," emphasizes that introverted kids often have rich inner worlds and may need encouragement to share their thoughts [2].

• Share Your Own Stories: Open up about your day or past experiences. This can help your child feel more comfortable sharing their own thoughts. Relating personal anecdotes can show them that it’s okay to be vulnerable [1].

• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of yes-or-no questions, try asking questions that require more thought. For example, “What was the best part of your day?” encourages them to elaborate rather than just respond with a simple answer.

• Give Them Time: Don’t rush them to respond. Introverted children often need a bit more time to formulate their thoughts before sharing. Allowing them this space can lead to deeper conversations [2].

• Create a Routine: Establish a regular time for family discussions, like during dinner. This can help normalize sharing and make it a part of their daily routine.

Understanding the dynamics of introversion and the factors that influence your child’s willingness to share can significantly improve communication. By fostering a supportive environment and being patient, you can help your introverted child feel more comfortable opening up about their thoughts and experiences.

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Learn more:

1. How to Raise a Confident Introverted Child
2. Helping Your Introverted Child Make Friends at School - Motherly
3. Advice for Parenting Introverted Children - Washington Parent

The Dinner Table Secret: A Habit Every Parent Should Know

Between carpools, homework, and trying to figure out what on earth kids will eat this week, modern parenting can feel like juggling flaming swords—on a trampoline. It’s easy to get caught up in milestones, rules, and routines. But there’s one simple, often-overlooked habit that can quietly transform family life: sharing meals together.

This isn’t about gourmet dinners or perfectly plated vegetables. It’s about presence—creating a space where kids feel safe, heard, and connected. Whether it's a full-course meal or microwaved leftovers, consistent family meals have a unique ability to strengthen emotional bonds and provide a sense of stability.

Research backs it up. According to The Journal of Adolescent Health, teens who regularly eat dinner with their families are more likely to experience higher self-esteem, better academic performance, and fewer behavioral issues.¹ And yet, the average American family eats together just "three times a week".² That’s a missed opportunity for connection.

What makes family meals so powerful? It’s the unfiltered conversations, the spontaneous laughter, and those surprising moments when a child opens up about something important—often right between bites of pasta. These casual moments become the building blocks of trust and emotional well-being.

The good news? It doesn’t have to be fancy. Light a candle, play a playlist, ask everyone to share a high and low from their day—or invent the most ridiculous food-themed superhero. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence.

So, to every parent wondering if the little things really matter: they do. Especially this one.  

Add one more shared meal to the week. Make it a space where messes are okay and stories are welcome. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what’s on the table—it’s about who’s around it.  

Keep going. You're creating something meaningful, one meal at a time.  

Everything You Need to Know Team

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¹ Journal of Adolescent Health, 2012. "Family Meals and Child Well-Being."  

² National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, Columbia University, 2011.  

Welcome to Our Parenting Advice Blog | Simple Tips for Success

Welcome to our parenting advice blog, where we focus on providing significant and simple tips for families with mixed-aged children. Raising kids of different ages can be both rewarding and challenging. Our goal is to share practical advice that makes parenting easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Understanding Mixed-Aged Families

Mixed-aged families often have children at different developmental stages, which can lead to unique challenges. Whether you’re managing siblings, step-siblings, or children from different backgrounds, our tips will help you navigate the complexities of family life.

Simple Tips for Success

1. Foster Communication

Encourage open dialogue among family members. Create a safe space where everyone can express their feelings and concerns. This helps build trust and understanding.

2. Promote Teamwork

Involve all children in household chores or activities. Assign age-appropriate tasks that require collaboration. This not only fosters a sense of responsibility but also strengthens sibling bonds.

3. Set Up Family Meetings

Regular family meetings can be a great way to discuss schedules, plan activities, and address any issues. Allow each child to voice their opinions and suggestions, making them feel valued.

4. Celebrate Individuality

Recognize and celebrate the unique interests and strengths of each child. This helps them feel special and appreciated, regardless of their age or role in the family.

5. Establish Routines

Create consistent daily routines that accommodate the needs of all children. This predictability provides security and helps reduce conflicts.

6. Encourage Peer Relationships

Facilitate friendships between children of different ages. Organize playdates or activities that allow for interaction, fostering empathy and social skills.

7. Be Flexible

Understand that what works for one child may not work for another. Be willing to adjust your approach based on individual needs and circumstances.

8. Share Responsibilities

Teach older children to help care for younger siblings. This not only lightens your load but also encourages nurturing behaviors in the older kids.

9. Use Positive Reinforcement

Recognize and reward positive behavior, whether it’s cooperation, kindness, or completing chores. This motivates children and promotes a positive family atmosphere.

10. Prioritize Quality Time

Make time for individual and family activities. Whether it’s game nights, movie marathons, or outdoor adventures, these moments create lasting memories and strengthen family ties.

Conclusion

Parenting a mixed-aged group can be a fulfilling journey filled with challenges and joys. By implementing these simple tips, you can create a harmonious family environment where all children feel valued and supported. We’re excited to accompany you on this journey and look forward to sharing more insights in future posts!

Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, or questions in the comments. Let’s support each other in this wonderful adventure of parenting!

Everything You Need to Know Team

Exploring the Online World with Kids in Mind: Protecting Children from Inappropriate Content

In the age we live in today, smartphones play a crucial role in our everyday routines particularly when it comes to our kids. With a smartphone at their fingertips, children can interact with others acquire knowledge, and discover things like never before. However, this accessibility also brings with it a threat; the possibility of coming across content that could negatively impact their growth and well-being. 

The Difficulty of Accessibility

Just picture your kid exploring and wanting to discover things while browsing through an ending stream of content online! According to a 2023 Pew Research Center study, 95% of teens in the U.S. have access to a smartphone, and over half use it for schoolwork.  Although these phones can be beneficial for learning purposes, they also provide access to inappropriate content with just a few taps.

Many popular websites and social networks do not have age verification measures in place. This makes it disturbingly simple for minors to stumble upon content with a quick search. Parents may remain oblivious to the online encounters their children could face as a result. 

How Learning is Affected

The impact of having access to smartphones is significant. A report from the National Center for Education Statistics reported that 77 percent of U.S. schools had prohibited cell phones for nonacademic purposes back in 2020. Supporters of these initiatives have linked smartphone use, bullying, and social isolation to hurting educational studies.

When children engage with content online it can impact their focus, school achievements, and even their perception of relationships. This highlights the importance for parents to understand that these online diversions could have long-term effects on their child’s development.

Introducing MM Guardian

In this era of technological advancements and digital dominance how can parents effectively monitor their children’s activities and ensure their safety? Introducing the MMGuardian phone, designed with child safety in mind, this device isn’t just another smartphone. It is aimed at assisting parents in looking out for their kid’s well-being. With comprehensive parental controls, parents can block content and monitor messages. The AI-powered Safety alerts notify parents about issues such as online predators, inappropriate photos, school shootings, and more. Children are unable to bypass these controls, even with safe mode or factory resets.

The MMGuardian phone employs a content filtering system to prevent children from accessing risqué websites and applications making it safe for browsing.

Parents can actively monitor their child’s online behavior making it easy to have discussions about their experiences using popular platforms like Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, and more.

When children use the MMGuardian, parents can set usage limits. They can restrict screen time to assist youngsters in striking a balance between their internet engagements and other hobbies. Parents find comfort in using GPS tracking to keep tabs and ensure the safety of their children by knowing their whereabouts.

Designed for All Ages

Whether this is your child’s first phone and you want to lock it down, or it is a phone for a teen, with MM Guardian’s Safety Alerts you will be kept informed, you can set the phone up based on your parenting style.

Cost

The MMGuardian Phone is unlocked, parents can choose a plan with their preferred carrier or opt-out for one of the affordable options from MMGuardian’s partner US Mobile (SIM included as an option). With pricing starting at just $9.99 per month, it’s an affordable option compared to competitors.

An Icebreaker for Starting a Conversation

With the MM Guardian phone in hand, parents can play a part in guiding their kid's online experiences effectively and responsibly. The phone is more than just keeping tabs on their kid’s phone activities but also encourages communication about their digital encounters and discoveries.

In today’s technology-driven society, parents need to be involved and informed. By taking an approach and utilizing resources, like MMGuardian, we can support our children in navigating the world safely and promoting positive behaviors that will benefit them in the long run.  

Take action today! Don't wait until it's too late, help your child with the MMGuardian phone. Visit the website to learn more, check out affordable plans, and sign up today! MMGuardian 

Striking a Balance: Nurturing Your Career and Family

 Creating a work life balance is something that many parents struggle with. It can be difficult to juggle the needs of your children and still find time to focus on your job. However, it is possible to create an environment in which both family and work commitments can coexist without one taking precedence over the other.

One way to achieve a healthy work life balance is to set boundaries between work and family time. This could mean not checking emails at home or cutting back on the hours you put in after your children have gone to bed. It may also mean taking advantage of flexible working arrangements if available, such as setting specific times when you’re able to leave early or arrive late so that you can pick up your children from school or attend a club meeting.

Making time for yourself is also important in order to maintain your own mental and physical wellbeing. Whether it’s taking a few minutes each day to read, go for a walk or even just take a break from the chaos of parenting, having some ‘me-time’ can help refresh and recharge you.

It's also important to remember that being a parent doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to pursue your own interests or career aspirations; it just means doing so in a way that won't leave you feeling spread too thin. For example, if you have the opportunity to take on additional responsibility at work but know it will take away from the time you spend with your children, it might be worth considering if this is a sacrifice you’re willing to make.

Ultimately, creating a work life balance that works for both your family and career can be a difficult task and there may have to be some sacrifices along the way. But with careful planning and consideration, it is possible to create an environment where both your work and parenting commitments can coexist.

So how do you create a healthy work life balance? Do you have any tips for other parents struggling to find the right balance between their job and family responsibilities? We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Check out blog owner and author Nicholl McGuire's book When Mothers Cry, a must-read for those moms who feel overwhelmed with being a parent.

Parenting Tips for Struggling Parents: Lesser-Known Gems

Parenting is a task that comes with a lot of responsibilities, challenges, and fun moments. However, it can be a daunting task for parents who are struggling to make ends meet. The struggle to balance work, family time, and personal time can be overwhelming. Thankfully, there are some lesser-known parenting tips that can make life easier for struggling parents. In this blog, I will share some of these parenting tips that you may find useful.

Have Time for Yourself: This sounds counterintuitive to what parenting is all about, but it's vital for your well-being and that of your family. Take time to engage in activities that rejuvenate your energy levels, such as hobbies, exercises, or meeting friends. Set some time for yourself regularly when your child is asleep or engaged in another activity.

Celebrate Small Milestones: Parenting is a continuous journey, and it can be challenging to celebrate milestones when you're focused on the next steps. Celebrate small successes like your child's potty training or their first solid meal. This creates a positive atmosphere, and your child will be encouraged to celebrate their milestones, no matter how small they may seem.

Take Advantage of Technology: Yes, too much screen time has negative effects, but technology can also be a helpful tool in parenting. Use parenting apps that can schedule your tasks, track your child's development, and engage them in learning activities. You can also use devices like baby monitors to keep an eye on your child as you attend to other tasks.

Embrace Routine: As parents, we can't overemphasize the impact of routine in our children's lives. It brings a sense of structure, consistency, and predictability, which can reduce anxiety and improve their relationships with others. Create a daily routine that's flexible enough to incorporate spontaneous activities and make your child feel engaged in the process.

Don't Avoid the Hard Conversations: Sometimes, as parents, we tend to shy away from difficult conversations like death, sex education, religion, or divorce. However, these conversations are essential in our children's lives, and avoiding them can have long-term negative effects. Be honest, use age-appropriate language, and allow your child to ask questions or express their thoughts. 

Parenting struggles are real, and as parents, we need to invest in strategies that can make our lives easier. While these are lesser-known tips, they have a significant impact on our parenting journey. Take a deep breath and remember that parenting is all about figuring out what works for you and your child. Try implementing one or two of these tips and see the difference it can make in your life and that of your child. You've got this, and you're doing a great job!

Learn more valuable tips about parenting on this blog, see here.

How to Be a More Engaged Parent and Meet Educational Goals

Parenting can be a challenging responsibility, especially when it comes to education. As a parent, it's your duty to ensure that your children are receiving the best education possible, but it's not always easy to do. The good news is that with a little effort and dedication, you can become a more engaged parent and meet your educational goals. In this blog, we'll be discussing a variety of ways that you can be more engaged with your children, improve your parenting skills, and achieve your educational goals.

Spend Quality Time with Your Children

The foundation of any strong parent-child relationship is quality time. It's essential to spend quality time with your children to help them develop emotionally, build trust, and cultivate a love of learning. You can do this by simply reading books together, playing games or engaging in conversations. When you spend quality time with your children, you'll be able to learn about their interests, likes, and dislikes. This will help you tailor their education to meet their unique needs.

Create a Learning Environment at Home

Creating a learning environment at home is an effective way to promote education and improve your children's learning outcomes. You can start by setting up a designated study space, stocking it with educational resources like books, posters, and learning aids. You can also consider setting up a homework schedule, so your children know when they need to study. Don't forget to put away all electronics and distractions during study time!

Engage in Learning Activities Together

Another way to enhance your children's education is by engaging in learning activities together. This can be as simple as visiting a museum or attending an educational event at your community center. You can also attend parent-teacher conferences, read educational books, or even take an online course together. By participating in these activities, you'll be able to learn alongside your children and show them the importance of lifelong learning.

Utilize Online Resources

In today's digital age, there are plenty of online resources available to help you improve your parenting skills and enhance your children's education. From parenting blogs to online learning platforms, the internet can provide invaluable resources to help you become a more informed and engaged parent. You can even find educational videos and games to help supplement your children's learning.

Prioritize Communication and Accountability

Last but not least, communication and accountability are essential to achieving your educational goals as a parent. It's important to communicate effectively with your children to understand their needs, challenges, and successes. You should also hold yourself accountable for your role in their education, setting goals, and tracking your progress. If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to other parents, educators, or community resources for support.

Being a parent is no easy task, but with dedication, effort, and a willingness to learn, you can become a more engaged parent and meet your educational goals. Use the tips in this blog as a starting point to build a more positive parent-child relationship, create a learning environment at home, engage in learning activities together, utilize online resources, and prioritize communication and accountability. Remember that education is a lifelong process, and as a parent, you have the opportunity to inspire your children to be lifelong learners.

Learn more about parenting children and teens When Mothers Cry blog for new and mature moms.

Breaking the Cycle How to Overcome the Challenges of Lazy Parenting and ...

20 Things Parents Can Do with Children who are Bored that Don't Cost Money

Relying on others to entertain your children is expensive isn't it? So for the family who has a limited budget it is always a good idea to watch spending and come up with other ways to enjoy time with your family. These ideas kept boredom away on most days. Here are 20 tips that might help. Most of these I have done with my four sons during long school breaks.

1. Engage in imaginative play: Encourage your children to use their creativity and imagination by engaging in pretend play. This could involve building forts, playing dress-up, or creating a make-believe world.

2. Go on a nature walk: Take your children on a walk in a nearby park or nature reserve. Explore the outdoors, point out different plants and animals, and encourage them to observe and ask questions about their surroundings.

3. Cook or bake together: Involve your children in the kitchen by allowing them to help with age-appropriate tasks such as measuring ingredients, stirring, or decorating. Cooking and baking can be a fun and educational activity that also yields delicious results.

4. Have a family game night: Gather the family and have a game night with board games, card games, or even video games. This not only helps pass the time but also promotes bonding and friendly competition.

5. Create art and crafts: Provide your children with art supplies such as paints, crayons, paper, and glue. Encourage them to create artwork or engage in simple craft projects. This can be a great way for them to express themselves and develop their artistic skills.

6. Read books together: Choose a book that suits your child's age and reading level and read it aloud together. You can take turns reading, discuss the story, and even act out scenes from the book.

7. Set up a scavenger hunt: Create a scavenger hunt around your home or in the backyard. Give your children a list of items or clues to find and let them explore and search for the hidden treasures.

8. Plan a family movie night: Let your children take turns choosing a movie and set up a cozy movie night at home. Prepare popcorn or snacks, dim the lights, and enjoy the movie together as a family.

9. Visit a local museum or exhibition: Check if there are any child-friendly museums or exhibitions in your area and take your children on a learning adventure. Many museums offer interactive exhibits and hands-on activities specifically designed for kids.

10. Teach them a new skill or hobby: Use the opportunity to teach your children a new skill or introduce them to a hobby. It could be anything from learning to play a musical instrument, knitting, gardening, or even basic coding. By engaging in activities like these, you can help them discover new interests and develop their talents.

11. Have a family dance party: Clear some space in your living room, put on some music, and have a dance party with your children. It's a fun and energetic way to get moving and enjoy some quality time together.

12. Build a blanket fort: Use blankets, pillows, and furniture to create a cozy fort in your living room or bedroom. Let your children's imaginations run wild as they design and decorate their own secret hideaway.

13. Host a family talent show: Encourage your children to showcase their talents, whether it's singing, dancing, telling jokes, or performing magic tricks. Everyone can participate, and it's a great opportunity to cheer each other on and have a good laugh.

14. Plan a backyard picnic: Pack some snacks or sandwiches, grab a blanket, and have a picnic in your backyard. Enjoy the fresh air and sunshine while having a relaxed meal together.

15. Organize a treasure hunt: Create a treasure hunt by hiding small objects or clues around your home or backyard. Provide your children with a list or series of riddles to solve, leading them to the hidden treasures.

16. Teach them card games: Teach your children simple card games like Go Fish, Crazy Eights, or War. Card games are easy to learn and can provide hours of entertainment for the whole family.

17. Have a storytelling session: Sit in a circle and take turns telling stories. You can start with a sentence or a theme and let each person add to the story. It's a fun and imaginative activity that sparks creativity and storytelling skills. I took this a step further as my third son and fourth son got older. Here is an example: 

18. Do a DIY science experiment: Look up simple science experiments online using household items. Engage your children in hands-on learning by conducting experiments like making a volcano erupt with baking soda and vinegar or creating a homemade lava lamp.

19. Play charades: Write down different activities, movies, or objects on small pieces of paper and put them in a hat. Take turns picking a paper and acting out the word or phrase while others try to guess. It's a lively and interactive game that requires no additional props.

20. Create a family scrapbook: Gather old magazines, newspapers, scissors, and glue. Sit together and cut out pictures, words, or phrases that represent special memories or interests. Help your children arrange and glue them onto a large piece of paper or a scrapbook, creating a personalized family keepsake.

Remember, the most important aspect is spending quality time together and nurturing the bond with your children, regardless of the cost of the activity. Now that two of the four sons are adults, I have checked in with the guys to get their feedback about those many school breaks and all the fun stuff we have done. What was most important to them was being with me and sharing quality time with the rest of the family no matter what we did. They mention they enjoyed playing games and going outside to play the most before they started spending more time playing video games. 

Make great memories Moms and Dads!

Have a fun summer!

Nicholl is the manager and blog owner feel free to fill out the contact form for business inquiries. Check our more blog posts about parenting When Mothers Cry 

Parenting Tips - Behavioral Signs That A Child Has Been Molested

How to Parent Yourself - re-parenting, advice for parents, self-improvement, parenting tips

Parenting Advice: What to Do About Breaking a Child’s Bad Habits?

When it comes to bad habits, there are a few things that parents can do in order to help their children break them. 

First and foremost, it is important to be consistent with any consequences that are put in place for breaking the bad habit. For example, if a child is disrespectful and is told that they will lose screen time for a week as a consequence, then it is critical that the parent follows through with this consequence every single time the child is disrespectful. This will help the child understand that their actions have real-world consequences that they will have to face. 

It is also important for parents to provide solutions for their children whenever they break a bad habit. For example, if a child is being lazy and not doing their homework, the parent could sit down with them and help them come up with a plan to get their work done. This could involve setting up a specific time each day for homework, setting smaller goals to avoid feeling overwhelmed, and providing incentives for completing tasks.

Finally, it is helpful for parents to lead by example when it comes to breaking bad habits. If a parent is trying to get their child to stop watching inappropriate shows, then the parent should also avoid watching these types of shows themselves. This will send the message to the child that these types of behaviors are not acceptable.

Bad habits can be difficult to break, but with consistency, parenting solutions, and leading by example, parents can help their children overcome them.

Personal Experience with the Teens Pushing Back, Talking Back

I must admit I'm not ready for these major mental and physical changes my two adult sons and their younger brothers are going through!  There I said it!  I recall when I started this blog back in the day when the two younger ones were in diapers and the two older ones were in elementary school.  Now fast forward, I got two in high school and two grown men.  That photo to the right when you scroll down, are my four sons when they were fun and naive without a care in the world!  Two not-so fun busy working and the other two having too much fun time to work soon!

These days I am seeing all of them go through personality and bodily changes that I know are normal for their ages, you know arriving at their manhood, defining who they are and what they hope to accomplish in life, but there is this other personality developing that is pushing back with the two younger ones.  This personality shows up and tells me at any given moment of the day regardless of what I ask or demand, "No I'm not doing...I don't want to...I don't have to..."  Whoah!  Who is this?  Excuse me?  Now I realize why parents had to go get belts back in the day or kick kids out!

"Excuse me, but you will do or else...what did you say?  Who do you think you are?  After all I have done for you, and you treat me this way...I don't like you right now.  I'm taking everything out of the room, and you can sleep on the floor for all I care!"  

Yes, the joys of parenting.  The clock is ticking, and I have less than 36 months to prepare them for the great move.  Yes, they will be moving out sooner rather than later.  My rules are if you think you are old enough to manage your lifestyle, then by all means, here's the door!  These coming months are becoming increasingly more uncomfortable for them, because there will be no relying on me for everything like they once had.  "You need personal products; you earn money, and you buy them.  You need this taken care of, you can fill out the form and do your research and make a phone call.  You need...you want...you got to have....and there's Jesus!"

"But you did this, Mom and you said, Mom...I don't want to...I don't have to..."  So, the conversations of explaining and listening, explaining and listening turned into shut-downs and shut-outs until we meet again on the same topic or a multitude of different topics.  I had enough of the merry-go-round.  I put action to what I originally told them, you want out, you will start by doing the kind of things that will ensure a safe exit.  Dad had to get on board; otherwise, the ship was going to sink.  When I talked about their plans of redirecting what they were asking for to him, he had time to talk to them.

Parents have to be on the same page, but sometimes it has to be a bit uncomfortable for the parent that is less strict to see what the future might look like if we all continue to let children have their way.  The future isn't so bright when separation rears its ugly head.  I have been there in a previous marriage that ended up in divorce court.  Many factors involved in that sour end including the parenting issues.

The talking back with the rebellious teen has led to no explanation necessary and nothing else given.  It has also stopped any future opportunities that had once been discussed.  Plans to remove devices out of rooms is forthcoming for a limited amount of time with not a chance in sight for a decision to be reversed.  It's unfortunate that it had to come to that, but I told them, "Enough."  I meant it.

Chores and other tasks that needed to be completed could not be put off any longer.  They were to either do them or suffer the consequences of favorite items not being bought by them, of course.  "Sorry guys, I have no budget for your wants or needs, that's why there are ways to earn money legally and ethically.  They are called jobs.  I will not assume any more of your responsibilities or burdens. It's not fair to me or your dad.  By law we are required to give you the basics not the luxuries, capice?"

I spelled everything in writing since one son joked, "Well I don't see anything in writing so you can't hold us accountable."  But I did.  It's up here on the fridge.  "I didn't sign anything," he says.  "Your signature isn't necessary to enforce rules that have long existed in this household that you chose not to follow."  It got more uncomfortable for him as a result of his smart mouth.  "Would you like your phone shut off so that you can focus on your chores?  Of course not, just do what you are told and enough with your comments."  I said something about we all live here, don't you want a nice place to stay?  I guess that last line made a difference and started and completed his chores.

So, you see, it hasn't been easy for me, but I am doing the best that I can.  I hope that you too are hanging in there, Parent, and standing your ground.

Nicholl McGuire is the owner of this blog and the author of When Mothers Cry.  She also has a blog on home organizing, see here.  

30+ SMART PARENTING HACKS AND CRAFTS - 5 Minute Crafts

Many of these hacks will help you repackage items so that children will eat certain foods and also help with organizing and preserving some items.

The Parenting Struggle is Real But You're Not Alone

Raising children isn't easy and anyone who says that it is, they aren't doing as much as they should for their children.  When we think of all that goes into parenting boys and girls, it is overwhelming.  From their basic needs being met to their wants, we are cautioning, encouraging, saving, hoping, praying and more.  Good parents want what is best for children which includes saying "No" sometimes.

When I put together the following audios and videos, I thought about a parent struggling like I once was trying to figure out what was most important in a child's life besides toys.  I also had to discover how to parent them effectively based on their personalities, interests, and bodily strength.  As they grew up, I didn't want them to remain in a time where they were stagnant.  I knew that they were curious about a lot of things and wanted to do more than just sit in a room and play.  So I sat down and had meetings with them talking about all sorts of things and asking them questions about their likes, dislikes, fears, worries, and other thoughts.

1.  How are you today?  Are you happy, sad, or mad?

2.  What did your teacher talk to you about ____________________________(fill in the blank with child's interest, ongoing problem, etc.)

3.  What was the best part of your day? (Provide examples).

4.  What would you like to eat? (List some options).

5.  What don't you like to eat? (Mention things you already know, but there maybe some new ones).

6.  What fun thing did you do at ______________________________(fill in the blank with the relative's title, name of friend...)?

7.  Did you go to _________________________ (fill in the blank with the place visited)?

8.  That sounds like fun.  What did you see?  What did you hear?  What did you smell?

9.  Would you like to come with me and help out with_____________________?  If you help, _____________ (fill in the blank with a good thing they will receive, get to do...)

10.  Why did you ___________________________ (fill in the blank with the negative thing they did, express how you feel about it).  You will not be able to__________________(fill in the blank with te consequence of their action).

NOTE:  When they do something great they are praised with a smile and warm hug.  "Great job! I knew you could do it.  Wonderful!  That is so nice, let me give you______________.  Keep up the good work."

What I did above for years helped them emotionally.  They were eager to help out and wanted to learn more.  Now that they are a tween and teen, the struggle is real, but I keep pressing forward.  I don't care about their negative attitude about doing chores or why they feel they shouldn't have to do A, B,C.  The discussion is limited, things need to get done.  When they're not I remove cords from electronics and other privileges are revoked until I get results.  One son had to look at an almost empty room for almost 48 hours after disputing about what he didn't want to do.  He did what he was asked then told what to do, but there wasn't much left of his room afterward. 

 

The little boys seen in some of my videos have grown up in front of cameras and are now embracing all that comes with being a teen and tween.  They have been great inspirations and I have learned much about being a parent with every challenge they have presented before me.  I sincerely hope that the advice and challenges I share on the recordings will help you in your quest to be the best parent you can be!  There are also some visuals that might inspire as well, enjoy! God bless :)

Do Not Provoke Children to Wrath - parenting kids, adult sons and daughters

Co-Parenting - parents, separation, divorce

On Teaching Children How to Read, Tell Time with Flashcards

Walls closing in on you, at home with the kids? Here's a few ideas...

Never too young to do chores. 3 and 4 years old

Dysfunctional Parents and Challenging Children - parenting tips

Tired of Feeling Miserable - Emotions, Health, Life, Relationships, Work, Parenting

Do You Know How Children Really Feel? On Communicating with Your Kids - Parenting

Parents Who Don't Want to Raise Children

Following After Parents' Poor Examples

     

The Newborn Brought Out the Best and the Worst in My Family

Cute and cuddly,  I was holding a precious life in my hands.  Little did I know just how much would change in a matter of weeks in my own family.  Relatives were not always behaving themselves.  Negative comments were thrown around about who would see the child, how long, and whether others would do anything for the new baby.

The journey of not only parenting a newborn was well underway, but so too was the mean-spirited behavior of some in-laws turned outlaws had showed and showed out!  There was possessive grandmother, jealous grandmother, controlling grandfather, and lazy grandfather.  Once in awhile someone had time and money for their grandchild while others didn't and then another would step it up and the cycle would continue.  It was like they were taking turns on being nice one minute and uncooperative the next.

With the tension in the air and the know-it-all attitudes all around, my relationship with the father suffered.  I grew fed up early on with relatives.  I was already tired often, felt the emotional and financial strain, and the lack of support from the father was pissing me off on a regular basis.  He behaved like a single man rather than a family man.  It wasn't until almost a decade later that he finally got it and by that time we had divorced.

I also experienced post-partum that didn't last just a week, I was depressed, sad, and sometimes emotionally withdrawn from everyone on and off for about a year.  The phone was irritating, the baby's crying drove me up the wall, the household tasks were mounting, and my bank account was draining.  No one or book could prepare me for the years of challenges ahead raising a child.

That baby turned out to be a light that exposed the dysfunction back then among so many.  A dysfunction that I didn't want to see.  I got to see sides of relatives that I suspected existed, but having that baby amplified them.  I didn't want him to experience what I had experienced growing up and worked hard to keep him away from any foolishness.

As he grew older, he had his own personal challenges and not always did we adults understand or was all that supportive.  For me, I had to do much praying and trust God that He knew what he was doing.

When I relocated, against my own parents wishes, it was tough.  We all had some growing up to do.  I knew I had to be independent and learn some things about life on my own just as they did.  I found that I could parent without needing a babysitter, relying on family materially and emotionally, and loving who I was as a mother without watchful eyes.

These days that child is now 20 years old--a grown man!  He is living in a nice location, driving a 2017 Jeep, and carrying two jobs that he enjoys.  He prays nightly and whenever I talk to him he motivates me to live my best life!  He tells me, "Don't worry about me, I will be fine!"

When I looked back on how the baby rocked my world and those around me at the time, I also understand why.  He was a gift.  A child that would grow up to be one of the good ones.  It isn't easy raising any child, but a child of God is something special.

So I encourage every parent who is expecting a child or has a newborn, think ahead--years ahead!  What do you want for your child and for you?  What type of influences do you want your child to be exposed to?  Are you respected, loved and appreciated in your own family?  Will you provide those things for your own child?

Imagine your child grown able to encourage and help you one day, it was motivating for me during some tough times.  I had to walk out of the room, breathe and tell myself, "It won't always be like this."  I picked up the phone and called those same people who had their share of issues with me getting pregnant in the first place.  I gave them an opportunity to be a part of our lives and for a time they were.  But I had, had enough and realized that I wanted more for my family that didn't involve pettiness and controlling behaviors.

Your baby is a gift, enjoy him or her while you still can.

Nicholl McGuire 

Co-Parenting - parents, separation, divorce

What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD

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