Welcome to a parenting advice blog which provides only the significant and simple tips to help mixed aged group families.
Where to Look for the Perfect Parenting Resource
The Book and Video Haven
Any place where they sell or lend a vast selection of books and videos may be a parenting resource. You can go around looking for a bestseller parenting resource or something created by experts in the field of parenting and psychology to get a good parenting resource. Surprisingly, an experiential parenting resource account or even fictional stories of parenting may be useful parenting resource for the discriminating parent.
Comprehensive Sites and Links
Not surprisingly, the internet can have every kind of parenting resource imaginable. You have the option of checking out sites that will provide you with a comprehensive parenting resource section or one that will provide you with specific parenting resource information. You can also check link or .net sites if you want to have a brief overview of some other sites that may be good places for a parenting resource.
Message Boards and Others
You may prefer a parenting resource that’s highly practical and that comes from people who have actually experienced parenting. You can use parents’ forums and message boards as your parenting resource. In this kind of parenting resource you can swap stories and practical tips and information. A lot of parents may warm up to this kind of parenting resource because it is conversational, light and a fun way to go about talking about parenting.
Formal Classes and Support Groups
A clear and structured parenting resource may come from such formal areas as parenting courses and support groups. This type of
parenting resource will surely offer highly professional pieces of information. There is no doubt that if you enroll in a parenting resource class, you will get a load of theories and actual practice accounts from trained professionals in the field of parenting. Support groups can also offer parenting resource that may be both categorized as formal expert quality and personally supportive and uplifting in nature.
People You Know
A practical parenting resource source would be people you actually know. Your own parents, family, friends and colleagues may each be a parenting resource. Ask these live, actual parenting resource people what they can share based on what they know and their experience. This may be the cheapest and best parenting resource you can ever have.
However and wherever you choose to get your parenting resource make sure that your parenting resource is applicable to you and your family. Remember, not all families are the same.
Veronica Fisher
Tips Of Positive Parenting Skills - Parenting Guidelines For Single Mothers
There are numerous ways to deal with various age groups. Confronting strategies for toddlers differ with those for teenagers. Your 16 year old boy is likely to make fun of you if he is told to spend some time in a thinking chair as he is being obstinate, stubborn and aggressive. On the other hand a few minutes time out will do wonders while tackling a 4 year old. So to be successful as a single mother you should have a set of parenting tips for each group.
Material regarding good parenting skills is widely available. A number of genuine and self proclaimed specialists are also around. A list of websites, books and other means in this aspect would probably require paragraphs. To make your life easy I would mention a few here. You can start with a library or a book shop. Single moms bringing up toddlers and smaller children will really benefit from the Parents Magazine. Unfortunately the major content in Parents Magazine is aimed at married parents. Among the various books available, you should go through at least a couple of them. Those who like Dr. Fan will recommend you his books. Dr. Terry Brazelton is an authority on child behavior. He is a father as well as a pediatrician. Even though a number of his books may be out of date, the attitude of babies and other children has remained the same since long. Last of all "The Well Trained Mind" is a good choice for those who want to train their children early.
A number of websites and organizations are available to assist single mothers with parenting tips. A renowned group is Parents without partners. They provide a wide range of information for single mothers. In the UK similar information is available on gingerbread. Early Start and Head Start Programs deliver the same services in the USA. You may not be eligible for their preschool assistance, but you can participate in courses and seminars which they conduct on positive parenting. Last of all you can look for topics like single parenting and single mothers through any search engine on the internet and get the required information. So if you are a single mother in search of parenting tips now you know where and how to get the required information.
If you require some parenting tips just now I can give you a few basics. As an adult you should be in control. Keep yourself composed all the time. This may not be easy, particularly when you find green finger paint all over your kitchen. The moment you become angry and irritable, you lose your composure. Such a situation may make your little child scared. To be successful always be composed and exercise control over your voice and actions.
Discover ways to get help from single parenting support group and resource on single mother support when you visit http://www.singleparentingfordummy.com, the online single parenting support resources for dummy
Parenting Tips for Struggling Parents: Lesser-Known Gems
Parenting is a task that comes with a lot of responsibilities, challenges, and fun moments. However, it can be a daunting task for parents who are struggling to make ends meet. The struggle to balance work, family time, and personal time can be overwhelming. Thankfully, there are some lesser-known parenting tips that can make life easier for struggling parents. In this blog, I will share some of these parenting tips that you may find useful.
Have Time for Yourself: This sounds counterintuitive to what parenting is all about, but it's vital for your well-being and that of your family. Take time to engage in activities that rejuvenate your energy levels, such as hobbies, exercises, or meeting friends. Set some time for yourself regularly when your child is asleep or engaged in another activity.
Celebrate Small Milestones: Parenting is a continuous journey, and it can be challenging to celebrate milestones when you're focused on the next steps. Celebrate small successes like your child's potty training or their first solid meal. This creates a positive atmosphere, and your child will be encouraged to celebrate their milestones, no matter how small they may seem.
Take Advantage of Technology: Yes, too much screen time has negative effects, but technology can also be a helpful tool in parenting. Use parenting apps that can schedule your tasks, track your child's development, and engage them in learning activities. You can also use devices like baby monitors to keep an eye on your child as you attend to other tasks.
Embrace Routine: As parents, we can't overemphasize the impact of routine in our children's lives. It brings a sense of structure, consistency, and predictability, which can reduce anxiety and improve their relationships with others. Create a daily routine that's flexible enough to incorporate spontaneous activities and make your child feel engaged in the process.
Don't Avoid the Hard Conversations: Sometimes, as parents, we tend to shy away from difficult conversations like death, sex education, religion, or divorce. However, these conversations are essential in our children's lives, and avoiding them can have long-term negative effects. Be honest, use age-appropriate language, and allow your child to ask questions or express their thoughts.
Parenting struggles are real, and as parents, we need to
invest in strategies that can make our lives easier. While these are
lesser-known tips, they have a significant impact on our parenting journey.
Take a deep breath and remember that parenting is all about figuring out what
works for you and your child. Try implementing one or two of these tips and see
the difference it can make in your life and that of your child. You've got
this, and you're doing a great job!
Learn more valuable tips about parenting on this blog, see here.
You Don't Need a "Supernanny" to Be an Active Parent
I have to admit to having only seen one episode of "Nanny 911," but, speaking as a parenting educator, I was impressed. The nanny sent to the rescue knew her stuff. She taught the parents to set limits, how to discipline using logical consequences and how to be firm and calm at the same time. She was good enough--and here's a huge compliment coming--to have been an Active Parenting leader. In fact, at one point, as the passive father is learning to be more involved, these words appear on the screen: "Father is becoming a more active parent."
Although I'm not a big reality TV fan in general, I think these two particular shows can be of real value to a lot of parents. They provide useful information and teach good parenting skills. Let's face it--if it works with these dysfunctional families, these skills will probably work for you, too!
And here's the good news: you don't have to be on a reality show to learn effective parenting skills. Parenting classes are available all over the country. You can watch the videos, consult with a parent educator, and share ideas with other parents just like you. To find one in your community, check with your child's school guidance counselor. Many classes are also listed on our web site.
But however you decide to improve your family life, please keep making the effort. Parenting is not the only influence on a child's life...but it's the one you can do the most about.
Author: Michael H. Popkin, Ph.D.
Dr. Popkin is a former child and family therapist in Atlanta. He founded Active Parenting Publishers in 1983 to help parents raise responsible children who are able to face life's challenges. His free, online "What's Your Parenting Style?" quiz is a popular way for parents to spot the strengths and weaknesses of their style. http://www.activeparenting.com/parents.htm
14 Things Needed for Successful Family
1) Be Open to Taking Quality Parenting Advice
Parenting Advice
Nine Steps to More Effective Parenting
10 Bad Parenting Habits | HowStuffWorks
Traits of a Good Parent - Father
2) Patience
20 Good Character Traits That Will Help ... - A Fine Parent
How to Be a More Patient Parent | Tips on Parenting Patience
3) Money Management
10 Easy Tips to Help Manage Your Money - The Dough Roller
Money Management for the Family: Some Truly Timeless Tips
4) Employment
CareerBuilder - Official Site
Indeed.com - Official Site
Simply Hired - Official Site
ZipRecruiter - Official Site
Snagajob - Official Site
Monster.com - Official Site
5) Flexibility
13 Benefits of Flexible Parenting - One Time Through
Flexible Parenting Lessens Kids’ Anxiety, Depression ...
6) Health Check-Up/Mental Stability
Quiz: How Healthy Are You? | The Dr. Oz Show
The 10 Personality Disorders | Psychology Today
Types of Doctors | MD-Health.com
10 Stress-Related Health Problems That You Can Fix
6 Inherited Health Conditions | Parenting
7) Time with Spouse
7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them - WebMD
50 Date Ideas for Couples - Lifehack
8) Time with Children
Fun things to do with kids | FamilyDaysOut.com
20 Activities To Do with Your Family This Weekend - Parents
9) Support System
Build a Personal Support System - Life skills
Support Systems – www.loveisrespect.org
10) Education
General Educational Development Test (GED®)
Going Back to College - Frequently Asked Questions
Trade Schools Guide | Find a College or Vocational School
7 Tips for Choosing the Best School for Your Child - TIME
Choosing a School . Going to School . Education | PBS Parents
Choosing a school for kids in grades K-12 - Bankrate.com
How to Choose the Best High School for Your Child | High ...
11) Bigger Place to Stay
How to Buy a House: 9 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow
How to Buy a House - 6 Must-Dos Before Buying A Home
How to Buy a House -- A guide for first-time home buyers
12) Reliable Transportation
Buying a Family Car | DMV.org
How to Buy a New Car - Consumer Reports
10 Steps To Buying A New Car - Kelley Blue Book
13) Insurance (all kinds)
HealthCare.gov - Official Site
Compare Cheap Life Insurance Quotes | MoneySuperMarket
Insurance Quotes and Comparison - Car, Life, Home & Health
14) Faith
Search out your denomination and find out what services you can attend locally to elevate you spiritually. As the struggles of life increase, you will find yourself wanting something more than what appeases your flesh. Take out the Holy Word and read it.
BONUS:
You will definitely need to know how to manage your time.
15 Time-Management Tips - Pregnancy, Birth, Babies, Parenting
10 Time Management Tips For Parents | Planning With Kids
Parenting EBooks - Download Today!
Parenting Your Teen Book Written By Renowned Parenting Experts
How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. Ebook & Audio Book, DVDs, CDs, Transcripts & Reports.
Parenting Classes Are Widely Accepted Online Across The Nation. Online Classes Are Perfect For Court Mandated Requirements, Legal Obligations Or For Personal And Parenting Skills. Take The 4 Hour Online Class To Receive A Certificate Of Completion.
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The Parenting Struggle is Real But You're Not Alone
Dating Tips For Single Parents
For those who have already taken the plunge into dating; some single parenting tips to help you discuss your new dating life with your children follow the dating tips for single parents.
List
Make a list of qualities your dating partner must have, qualities you would like them to possess and qualities that absolutely will not work for you.
Some desirable qualities might include patience with children. If a long term relationship is your goal; a desire to have a family might be important. Common interests and mutual hobbies could be qualities you would like but are not necessarily required. Qualities that you do not want may include a party lifestyle or lack of motivation. You may also want someone who has an understanding of the demands of parenthood or at least a desire to learn about those demands.
Mindful
Be mindful of your appearance when in social settings. Try not to wear attire that is provocative. You don't want to give the impression that you are readily available. Conduct yourself in a manner that says you have respect for yourself and others will respond accordingly.
Sex
Sex is usually an awkward subject when you are a parent. Professional dating advice for single parents recommend that you do not engage in sexual activities on the first date. In fact, their dating advice for single parents caution against sexual activity until you have established a relationship that is intimate and shows promise of developing into something long term. Sexual relations too early in a relationship that then ends can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem.
Friendship
Work on building a social framework of friends. Participating in social activities with friends is a good way to meet people with like interests in a nonthreatening group environment. Don't be afraid to initiate conversation and introduce yourself to someone you are interested in.
Dates
If friends want to set you up with a blind date; ask for the persons email. Begin corresponding with the person via email so you can begin to learn about the person. Conversation will flow more easily when you already have an idea of the person's interests. This will help ease nervousness on the first date; and hopefully you will have a more enjoyable date.
Explaining dating to your children may seem difficult and awkward. It needn't be stressful. For parents already dating; single parenting tips to help you follow.
1. Graphic details of your dating are not necessary. A simple response that you are spending time with a close friend will suffice in the beginning. If a relationship progresses into more; you can begin to discuss you dating partner with your children. Omit intimate details even if you have a teenager.
2. If dating begins to turn into a more long term relationship; you may consider an introduction. Prepare in advance for the meeting. Professionals recommend to parents dating, this single parenting tip: public areas such as a parks or a zoo make neutral places to introduce a dating partner to your children.
3. Give your children time to adapt to this new person who is getting so much of your attention. Expect your children to have questions and concerns. Answer their questions honestly and keep the communication lines open. Reassure your children they are still your priority and you dating does not change how you feel or take care of them.
Hopefully when you begin dating; these single parenting tips [http://www.singleparentdatingadvice.com/dating-tips-for-single-parents.html] will make the transition for your children go more smoothly.
Pieter West travels the world on a regular basis and have written about numerous subjects. He has an extensive knowledge about, finances, DIY, parenting advice and many more subjects.
How to Be a More Engaged Parent and Meet Educational Goals
Parenting can be a challenging responsibility, especially when it comes to education. As a parent, it's your duty to ensure that your children are receiving the best education possible, but it's not always easy to do. The good news is that with a little effort and dedication, you can become a more engaged parent and meet your educational goals. In this blog, we'll be discussing a variety of ways that you can be more engaged with your children, improve your parenting skills, and achieve your educational goals.
Spend Quality Time with Your Children
The foundation of any strong parent-child relationship is quality time. It's essential to spend quality time with your children to help them develop emotionally, build trust, and cultivate a love of learning. You can do this by simply reading books together, playing games or engaging in conversations. When you spend quality time with your children, you'll be able to learn about their interests, likes, and dislikes. This will help you tailor their education to meet their unique needs.
Create a Learning Environment at Home
Creating a learning environment at home is an effective way to promote education and improve your children's learning outcomes. You can start by setting up a designated study space, stocking it with educational resources like books, posters, and learning aids. You can also consider setting up a homework schedule, so your children know when they need to study. Don't forget to put away all electronics and distractions during study time!
Engage in Learning Activities Together
Another way to enhance your children's education is by engaging in learning activities together. This can be as simple as visiting a museum or attending an educational event at your community center. You can also attend parent-teacher conferences, read educational books, or even take an online course together. By participating in these activities, you'll be able to learn alongside your children and show them the importance of lifelong learning.
Utilize Online Resources
In today's digital age, there are plenty of online resources available to help you improve your parenting skills and enhance your children's education. From parenting blogs to online learning platforms, the internet can provide invaluable resources to help you become a more informed and engaged parent. You can even find educational videos and games to help supplement your children's learning.
Prioritize Communication and Accountability
Last but not least, communication and accountability are essential to achieving your educational goals as a parent. It's important to communicate effectively with your children to understand their needs, challenges, and successes. You should also hold yourself accountable for your role in their education, setting goals, and tracking your progress. If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to other parents, educators, or community resources for support.
Being a parent is no easy task, but with dedication, effort,
and a willingness to learn, you can become a more engaged parent and meet your
educational goals. Use the tips in this blog as a starting point to build a
more positive parent-child relationship, create a learning environment at home,
engage in learning activities together, utilize online resources, and
prioritize communication and accountability. Remember that education is a
lifelong process, and as a parent, you have the opportunity to inspire your
children to be lifelong learners.
Learn more about parenting children and teens When Mothers Cry blog for new and mature moms.
PBS Parents: Your Resource for Parenting Tips & Parenting Advice
PBS Parents: Your Resource for Parenting Tips & Parenting Advice
Welcome to Our Parenting Advice Blog | Simple Tips for Success
Welcome to our parenting advice blog, where we focus on providing significant and simple tips for families with mixed-aged children. Raising kids of different ages can be both rewarding and challenging. Our goal is to share practical advice that makes parenting easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Understanding Mixed-Aged Families
Mixed-aged families often have children at different developmental stages, which can lead to unique challenges. Whether you’re managing siblings, step-siblings, or children from different backgrounds, our tips will help you navigate the complexities of family life.
Simple Tips for Success
1. Foster Communication
Encourage open dialogue among family members. Create a safe space where everyone can express their feelings and concerns. This helps build trust and understanding.
2. Promote Teamwork
Involve all children in household chores or activities. Assign age-appropriate tasks that require collaboration. This not only fosters a sense of responsibility but also strengthens sibling bonds.
3. Set Up Family Meetings
Regular family meetings can be a great way to discuss schedules, plan activities, and address any issues. Allow each child to voice their opinions and suggestions, making them feel valued.
4. Celebrate Individuality
Recognize and celebrate the unique interests and strengths of each child. This helps them feel special and appreciated, regardless of their age or role in the family.
5. Establish Routines
Create consistent daily routines that accommodate the needs of all children. This predictability provides security and helps reduce conflicts.
6. Encourage Peer Relationships
Facilitate friendships between children of different ages. Organize playdates or activities that allow for interaction, fostering empathy and social skills.
7. Be Flexible
Understand that what works for one child may not work for another. Be willing to adjust your approach based on individual needs and circumstances.
8. Share Responsibilities
Teach older children to help care for younger siblings. This not only lightens your load but also encourages nurturing behaviors in the older kids.
9. Use Positive Reinforcement
Recognize and reward positive behavior, whether it’s cooperation, kindness, or completing chores. This motivates children and promotes a positive family atmosphere.
10. Prioritize Quality Time
Make time for individual and family activities. Whether it’s game nights, movie marathons, or outdoor adventures, these moments create lasting memories and strengthen family ties.
Conclusion
Parenting a mixed-aged group can be a fulfilling journey filled with challenges and joys. By implementing these simple tips, you can create a harmonious family environment where all children feel valued and supported. We’re excited to accompany you on this journey and look forward to sharing more insights in future posts!
Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, or questions in the comments. Let’s support each other in this wonderful adventure of parenting!
Everything You Need to Know Team
Sex Education For Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
Talking to toddlers and pre-schoolers about sex can be very challenging for many parents. Sex education for young children is a natural responsibility for parents.
At some point, toddlers and pre-schoolers usually get curious about their own bodies. It's best to let them explore and ask questions at their own pace. Parents can benefit from being honest and frank with children at these early ages. For instance, when a child becomes curious and asks about a body part, giving the proper body part name, rather than a "nickname" like some parents are inclined to try, or perhaps trying to avoid even addressing the questions. This may send a message of dishonesty or mistrust to the child once they get a bit older and realize mom or dad cannot seem to call it the proper body part name.
Also parents can benefit from taking any conversation about sexual awareness seriously, without joking or shame or embarrassment. It is the nature of children to be curious, and denying them this curiosity may affect the parent-child relationship and bond. As an example, many dads have never been able to even refer to female body parts with their daughters without some level of embarrassment or discomfort. Most times, this awkwardness started when their children were babies, and can affect the relationship for years.
Some children may ask a lot of questions. Especially in the most healthy parent-child relationships, a child may feel comfortable firing many questions at mom or dad. They may compare their genitals to a parent's and ask questions about that. Many kids want to know where babies come from at early ages, as well. For parents that may not feel comfortable answering all of these queries directly, perhaps an indirect approach may work, like getting one of the many books written for toddlers and pre-schoolers on awareness of their bodies to help share information.
Toddlers and pre-schoolers can begin to understand the concept of "private" body parts. This is helpful as once they begin to explore themselves, they may also want to begin to explore with playmates. Curious exploration with others is also natural for children, and is mostly harmless. Children at these young ages can learn boundaries and be taught to set limits with issues about their bodies.
Masturbation is also natural at this age. This can be very shocking to many parents. Toddlers and pre-schoolers may even do this in public and at the most inappropriate times, as they are still exploring and unaware of the inappropriateness. Again, parents can benefit from not reacting to a child's self-stimulation by joking, acting embarrassed or shameful. There will be many teaching moments to help children learn that these are private activities.
Dealing with these difficult conversations at early ages is vital for parents. As children get older, the questions about sex just get deeper and more complex. Parents should want children to depend on them (rather than friends) for information about sex. In trying to encourage healthy communication and a close parent-child relationship, parents can begin to earn trust and respect when their children are young. By forging this bond when children are at the toddler and pre-school age, parents can look forward to more trust from their child and a closer relationship when he or she gets older and into middle school and high school.
More information is available on healthy communication with toddlers and pre-schoolers.
FREE parenting books, articles, videos and more - FREE parenting stuff.
For more information on understanding the complex nature of who a child is, how his or her brain develops and processes information, and to practice new and easy-to-learn healthy parenting tools, please visit: Responsible-Kids.net
Marty Wolner (BA, CPE, ICF, PACA) is a Certified Parenting Educator for the Institute for Professional and Educational Development, and New Paradigm Training Institute in Ft. Washington, PA and the Institute for Family Professionals in Philadelphia, PA, and the parent of two teenagers.
Advantages of Single Parent Families
Results of studies have indicated that a home filled with conflict is the least desirable home environment for children. When the child's prior two-parent household included frequent fighting and discord between the adults, the child can benefit from living in a one-parent home provided that the conflict is stopped. A parent who is no longer devoting time to warring with a partner may have more energy to give to the kids. Children observe adult relationships and usually apply what they have learned to their own relationships as adults. By residing with only one parent, the child may actually have a chance to observe healthier adult relationships.
Children learn valuable lessons from dealing with hard times and having different lifestyle from many of their peers Your family may not represent the stereotypical American family, but there can still be lots of love and fun in your home.
A single parent may actually have more time for the kids that a married parent would have. Since there is no longer a spouse around at mealtime, meals don't have to be as substantial and can be structured around kid-friendly ingredients. If your former partner was not very involved with housework, you may have more time since you now have one less person to care for. Financial worries may actually be fewer. Yes, you have less income, but you also have total control over the expenditures that you may not have had while with your partner.
The opportunity to spend time in two separate homes can be a good experience for your children. They will see different approaches to life and hopefully, take the best of both homes to use in establishing their own households as adults.
Often, a child with parents who live apart will gain a stepparent or two. Your child's extended family will then be even larger, giving her more chances to develop meaningful relationships with caring adults. Your kids may even get exposure to new ideas or experiences that could ultimately lead to a career or hobby for your child.
Kids who live with only one parent tend to develop independence faster than their peers. Since the parent will probably have a job and other many other duties on their plate, the kids may have to learn to do things for themselves such as preparing a simple meal or participating in household chores. Kids with stay-at-home parents or two parents in the home may not have as many opportunities to take part in the day-to-day responsibilities of running a household. The kids also learn that they need to be ready to take care of themselves, since they, too, could end up on their own or in a single parenting situation someday.
A favorite benefit of many kids from single parent families is that they often get two or more celebrations for each holiday. They may get two sets of gifts at Christmas, often getting more stuff than they would have if the parents were together. Two Easter baskets, valentine's gifts, etc., are also enjoyed by many of these children.
Two-parent homes can often provide many advantages. However, single parent homes can offer many opportunities for self-growth for children along with other benefits. You can commiserate with your kids about their ?different? lifestyle from their peers, but be sure to stress the advantages of their situation, too, along with offering lots of love. Your family can be a successful as a single parent family!
Get your free single parenting ebook and other single parent info at The Single Parent Spot Co-parenting with someone who is mentally ill or a substance abuser? Visit Co-parenting Nightmare http://www.coparentingnightmare.com/
Unhappy Being a Parent? 10 Ways to Be at Peace with Parenting
Dads Are (Harried) Parents, Too!
I think it was during our toddler invasion years (we had three at home) when I realized that losing one's mind--particularly a portion of the memory feature--was an unavoidable by-product of parenting. Why didn't the baby books warn that lost car keys, lost eye glasses, lost bottles and pacifiers--things that turn routine days into triathlons--would become par for the course? There is probably a specialized branch of the government mothers should work for. Who else can conduct a frantic search for vital home security items in less than a minute--and still make it to the pediatrician's office on time?
My husband has hinted that "lost-mind-syndrome" (or, LMS, as we affectionately call it) after parenthood can only happen if one is prone to it in the first place. In other words, that I was really just plain nuts and parenting was bringing it out. Ha! Little did he know that his day would come!
I admit that I had been displaying grave signs of the malady: There was the time we were traveling with two friends when we had to stop so Mike (my husband) could check the engine. Climbing back into the driver’s seat he complained that he'd gotten some antifreeze on his bare arm. Instantly a wayward maternal instinct leapt up in me like an alarm and I blurted, “Don’t lick your arm!” To peals of laughter from the backseat, my husband thanked me profusely for reminding him not to lick his arm since, of course, he was in a terrible habit of doing so.
Another time we were visiting friends and I spotted a pretty lamp, which our hostess explained was a "touch-lamp," the kind you simply have to touch to turn on. They were NEW at the time, and, impressed, I gushed, “Oh, so it’s good for blind people!” For the split-second the thought was in my head until I spoke it aloud, it actually had made sense. Acute LMS in action.
Fortunately lots of parents display symptoms of the syndrome, so I never feel alone. For instance, at the supermarket you can always spot the harried parents at the checkout: they are the ones rocking the shopping cart back and forth. No matter that baby is home—they don’t even know they’re doing it.
Or the 19 mothers in the department store who turn their heads simultaneously when a young child cries "Mommy!" The brain affected by LMS always thinks, "that could be my child!" So what if we left the kids home with Dad? Reality has nothing to do with it. Yup, and friends tell me I am not the only one who has offered a visitor a nicely warmed bottle of milk instead of the tea they were expecting. And I've actually seen other people begin to chop meat into teensy, tiny little pieces--for their spouse.
Often, when bottles or Binky's were missing, my husband would shake his head. "Didn't we just buy a few?" he'd say. I could answer that yes, we had, without even thinking about it--we were ALWAYS just buying a few.
One evening I had just finished bathing our two older kids. As I walked past the den Mike spotted me and asked, worried, “Is the (baby) gate on the stairs closed? Make sure it’s closed!” I saw that Matthew, our youngest at 16 months, was safe for the moment, but I checked the gate anyway. It was closed.
When I passed Mike again shortly afterwards, he fretted, “Did you leave the bathroom door open? Matthew could be getting into the bathroom!” He was worried that I had left water in the tub, and that Matt might be at risk. I had not left water in the tub and stopped in my tracks, suprised to see Mike getting even more indignant. I hadn't even answered the question when he demanded, “Where is Matthew, anyway? WHERE IS HE?!”
I gazed at my husband, shaking my head softly. In a gentle voice I broke the news to him: ”Honey, you’re feeding him.” I felt sorry for the guy as he looked down at Matthew on his lap, sucking quietly from a bottle, and it hit him: He, too, had lost his mind!
Ah, isn’t marriage and parenting great? Give the dad in your house an extra big hug this Father's Day. He deserves it!
Linore Rose Burkard writes Inspirational Romance as well as articles on Regency Life, Homeschooling, and Self-Improvement. She publishes a monthly eZine "Upon My Word!" which you can receive for FREE by signing up at http://www.LinoreRoseBurkard.com Ms. Burkard was raised in NYC and now lives in Ohio with her husband and five children.
Parents: The 3 Most Catastrophic Mistakes Parents Make and How to Avoid Them
In all the years I have been working with children and parents, I am amazed at just how many parents believe they can tell their children what to do and their children should just “do as they are told”.
Well I am here to tell you: nothing could be further from the truth. Most of these parents who expect or demand compliance from their children are needlessly headed for frustration and ultimately disaster. The worst part is: it just doesn’t have to happen!
As parents, we know we are far from perfect. We know we make mistakes; in fact, mistakes are a part of life, so it is inevitable. However, what we want to avoid are those serious mistakes that create larger problems that are difficult to resolve.
TOP THREE PARENTING MISTAKES
• Getting into power struggles that create resistance in your child
• Treating your child as if they know nothing and you know everything
• Towering over and overpowering your child to get them to do as you want
WHY ARE THESE TOP THREE CONSIDERED CATASTROPHIC MISTAKES?
All three really deal with power OVER your child. While you have responsibility for your child, ultimately you want them to develop to their full potential so they can live fulfilling, independent lives. If you tell them what to do all the time, they will not learn how to problem solve effectively for themselves.
Think about what you would feel if someone were to assert power and control over you, at your expense. It would be hard to thrive. In nature if a sun loving plant lived under a tree with a huge canopy, the lack of sunlight would mean the plant would not thrive.
THE RESULT OF OVER CONTROL
Parents who micromanage their child and overshadow every move their child makes, will often say, “it worked for me…I turned out OK… Actually, I was so wild I needed that type of control”.
What a parent who was micromanaged often does not realize is that much of their upbringing and behavior was a product of their parent not knowing other options.
While most children ultimately bend to their parent who exerts their authority in a controlling manner, they do not learn effective coping skills. This hampers them in resolving conflicts through means other than overpowering someone else. Imagine using a sledge hammer when a small hammer would work so much better.
No matter how well intentioned an overpowering parent might be, they build a resistance in their child. A child might submit but silently defy. Silent defiance comes in many forms, perhaps in “showing” the parent that no matter how tough the parent is, they will not give the parent the satisfaction of crying or showing emotion.
This becomes the stoic child who stores their anger and frustration. These emotions when under pressure tend to either leak out or explode at some point with someone less powerful that they can intimidate.
Some children respond to over control with anxiety and fear. Over controlling parents then may feel frustrated that these children seem to have “no backbone”. These children may perceive themselves as weak and ineffectual.
We need to let children struggle against the elements of life, in order for them to develop their strength. If we squash the evolving strength with our rules and demands, we can weaken them.
WAYS TO AVOID THE TOP THREE PARENTING MISTAKES AND ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO GROW AND THRIVE
• Connect with your child, step into their shoes to experience the world as they do
• Calm your emotions because emotions are contagious and if you are calm they will catch your calmness
• Listen to their thoughts and feelings. Children see things, as they appear to them in the moment. Enjoy the humor; children can be enormously entertaining as they tell it like it seems to them. Art Linkletter interviewed thousands of children on his early TV show, and showed us how “Kids Will Say The Darndest Things”.
• Limits are important but you will deliver them very differently if you complete the first three steps first.
• Fresh-Starts are very important because it gives you and your child freedom from mistakes. It normalizes mistakes and communicates your belief that you child can correct the mistakes. This is important as a way to focus on making better choices in the future. With fresh-starts, there is no making a child feel bad about past mistakes once they correct the problem.
No matter how long you have been a parent, chances are you are missing one of these steps or applying them out of order. The good news: you can follow the simple steps I have outlined to stop making mistakes that have lasting impact, and insure that you connect to have positive influence with your child.
Sandra, psychotherapist and Child Expert, creator of the 5-Word Parenting System: Connect, Calm, Listen, Limits and Fresh-Start. Learn it once use it for life. Contributing author to All-in-One Marriage Prep.http://one-step-ahead-parenting.comhttp://www.facebook.com/OneStepAheadParentingNeed Original Parenting Articles, Videos for Your Blog, Social Media Page or Website?
When I Had Babies...I Didn't Anticipate How Much My Life Would Change
- No more looking out for just me.
- No more eating just for me.
- There isn't a day that you don't think of your children.
- Men change and don't see you, the mother, the same way.
- Relatives and friends treat you differently (more respect, sometimes include your children, want to help...)
- Career focus is not what it use to be.
- Everything costs more.
- You take your faith in God more seriously.
- Bodily changes.
- Friends come and go.
- Jobs come and go.
Walking on Egg Shells When It Comes to Parenting Your Children the Right Way
Be A Parent Not A Friend
It is your job as a parent to teach your children the facts of life—good or bad—so that they can make their own good decisions in the real world. It is simply not fair to expect children to be able to make decisions that negatively affect their lives when they are not prepared to make those decisions. You have a pretty good idea of what is best for your children, and certainly a better idea than they do. It is your responsibility as the adult to pass the love and knowledge you have experienced in your own life to your children to give them the best opportunity to lead a successful life.
The principles you instill at a young age will follow your children throughout life. When they are little you make them brush their teeth, eat their vegetables and clean their rooms, not only because you know that these things are good for them, but also because you want them to one day learn to do them without being told. There are many times in life when we have to do things we do not want to do, and by not sugarcoating this idea when your children are young, they will be more accepting of it as they grow and mature into adults.
Never saying no doesn’t build friendship with your children. It may content them in the moment, but in the long run it will only make them selfish and rude. Never using the word no gives your child a handicap that will make it harder for him or her to succeed in life. No one will want to befriend, date, hire or live with a selfish person.
Playing the role of disciplinarian may not seem like a way to bond with your children, but once they grow past the stage when you are responsible for making their decisions, friendship can grow. They will respect you for making the good decisions for them that they were not able to make on their own. Let their peers be their friends. Their peers certainly are not going to act as parents, so this all-important chore is left to you.
Parenting is a grand struggle between giving to your child and instituting discipline. The balance will be different for everyone, but it is important to keep reevaluating what needs to be done and take steps to reestablish and maintain that balance.
About the Author
Solomon Brenner is an Author, speaker and columnist on success and parenting he can be reached at Actionkarate@comcast.net or 267-939-0424