Sometimes, Pregnancy Is Rubbish. And That’s OK

Sometimes, Pregnancy Is Rubbish. And That’s OK: Motherhood blog based on book entitled, When Mothers Cry by self-published author Nicholl McGuire. Parenting, relationship, women issues discussed.

Gift Idea - Journaling For Kids - Why Writing A Journal Is Great For Children

I’m sure a lot of us kept diaries when we were kids. The trope of the angsty youngster pouring out their heart into the pages of their diary is a well-established one, for good reason. Whether we used our diaries to complain about our parents, bewail our unrequited crushes, or (as a couple of girls at my school did - to mixed effect…) leave them ‘casually’ lying around in the hope that a specific target would read the ‘secrets’ within, journaling was something that many of us undertook with gusto.
Nowadays, however, journaling is falling out of favor with the younger generation. This is partly due to the rise of social media. Daily posts and status updates have taken the place of diary entries. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing on some levels, it’s a real shame that journaling is increasingly being pushed out of children’s lives. Why? Because journaling can be very good indeed for young people - in a way that social media simply cannot.

So, what can journaling do for your child?

•Journaling allows children to express their innermost thoughts. Doesn’t social media do the same? Well, sort of, but not in the same way. The average social media post is calculated to get a reaction from or pass information to one’s social circle. With a journal entry, however, the child can express their innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of the kind of censure or judgment which can occur on social media.
 
•Journaling helps to develop creativity, providing a place to experiment with language styles.
 
•By allowing them to express themselves freely, journaling helps children to get to know themselves a little more - to develop that all-important self-knowledge which we all need to be happy and fulfilled.
 
•As they record the world around them and their experiences with it, journaling can help children to develop observational skills, and perceptive intuition.
 
•By providing something to look back on - a record of past successes and mistakes - journaling may also teach kids when to trust their intuition, and when to go with their rational judgment.
 
•Journaling is cathartic - an excellent way to process and eradicate negative emotions. Not for nothing is journaling used as a form of therapy in the mental health fields!
 
So, while it’s not for everyone, it might be worth buying your child a journal this Christmas.

Do You Have Something to Say? Guest Blog Posts are Welcome

A new year is fast-approaching and we would like to hear from our audience.  If you have a story, artwork, photography or something related to helping our visitors with their family related concerns then by all means reach out.  Send your work to nichollmcguire@yahoo.com  We look forward to hearing from you.

Have a great new year!

This blog is managed by Nicholl McGuire Media

How to Get that Mind, Body, Spirit Back After Kids - Personal Experience

It's a struggle when you don't really feel like it, don't want to, and have more excuses than most, exercising not just body, but mind and spirit too!

I admit I felt a bit lazy after childbirth one, two, three, and four.  But the kids' cries were a motivation for me.  I wanted to get out the house!  So I grabbed the stroller, dressed them well, and headed out as long as there wasn't a blizzard or a rain storm.  I wasn't about to stay in the house all day with a crying baby!

Sometimes we can be so caught up in the routine of doing some things that we neglect ourselves. Having children isn't a license for letting yourself go mentally, physically and spiritually--you are more than just a parent!

Keep in mind, you aren't any good to a child if you don't take some time for yourself.  No one wants a tempermental, overweight, and resentful person around them for always--I know--lived it.

It is okay to give yourself a time out for you!  Trust me, the people around you may have either told you or secretly wish you go away fro awhile.  You can delegate some responsibilities to other members of your household (pick up toys, dust, clean bathrooms, take out trash, organize, run errands, etc.) even if they turn up their nose, pout or complain.  It took two to make a baby, remember?  Throw in the grandparents and other relatives who want to see and do for your children--well create some opportunities for them while you get some needed stress relief.  If you don't have the luxury of having kin around, you can look for babysitters with excellent references, visit nearby schools, check for good Samaritans at the local churches who other parents boast about, or daycares with great reviews.


I willed that I would do some things differently to get my mind, body and spirit back after the birth of my children and I did ( I am a size 6, I have written over 10 plus books since their birth, participated in media interviews, and relocated with husband a few times)  Children haven't stopped me from my goals and they shouldn't with you either!

The following is a list of what I did to claim me back again!  It didn't take long to fit in my jeans, get back to work, and maintain my household.

Body

1.  Positive images.
2.  Self-hypnosis to encourage weight loss.
3.  Dieticians
4.  Taking vitamins and supplements.
5.  Long walks.
6.  Doctor's visits.
7.  Eat healthy--always working on that--oh the holiday season!

Mind

1.  Reading uplifting work.
2.  Painting.
3.  Sitting and walking at a park.
4.  Studying something new.
5.  Journaling or audio record highs and lows. (Check back to see or hear progress).

Spirit

1.  Meditating on inspiring words of faith and praying.
2.  Participating in spiritual fasts.
3.  Reading the Bible. Concentrating on Scriptures to aid during difficult times.
4.  Church attendance.
5.  Being around or talking to close family members and friends.

In between doing all these things on different days, I was able to get other things accomplished like teaching children, home organizing and lending my service to others like a woman who was dying from cancer needing her hair braided.  Sometimes we have to stop the complaining, fault-finding, and personal jealousies of others and appreciate all what we have.  Times with her were humbling experiences.

When you make up in your mind that you aren't just going to say you are going to do things, but plan to actually do them on designated days without too much thinking or excuse-making, you will start doing them naturally.  Your spouse or partner will notice you are working hard to improve you and will become more attracted to you.  Your children will appreciate your fresh, patient, and kind attitude toward them.

Nicholl McGuire
Blog Owner and Author of When Mothers Cry

They Won't Be Like This Forever...

 
Capture those precious moments!
Get a quality camera and a whole lot of patience this holiday season--you will need it.

Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy


The Children Won't Remain Babies, Toddlers for Long

When people told me, "Appreciate your babies...they will grow up so fast...That age goes by so quickly..." they knew what they were talking about!  When I started this blog I had a newborn, a toddler, a tween and a soon-to-be teen.  Those days are like a blur!  If it wasn't for the blog, videos and other things to remind me of some good times, I would have long forgotten!

Your babies are here with you for as long as you welcome them and the mighty Creator keeps breath in their bodies.  When a parent shows sincere love and appreciation for their children, they do come back around, but when they don't, children move on with their lives and forget about mom or dad during their senior years (if they live that long).

While they are growing up quickly, what this also means is that as parents we are getting older.  The reality hit me as I saw more and more grays show up on my head, aches that came out of nowhere, and thinning hair.  Yes, I am getting older, but I must say wiser too--thank you God!  My children have taught me and still teach me a lot about life as well.  They want so much and I just don't have enough time, money or patience to give to all four.  However, what I have been doing in recent years is trusting in God more and instructing the children to seek him for direction on their life's purpose.  They are never too young to learn that we are made up of mind, body and spirit!

So we pray, I tell them stories about childhood, I warn them about pending dangers, and I encourage them to look up things to help them in their future endeavors. 

Life is indeed short and I have also talked to them about my passing whenever that might be--I don't know anything, but they should be prepared.  A morbid conversation, I know, but we just aren't promised tomorrow.  It is so important that we leave good information, family history, photos, and more to help them grow in knowledge, wisdom and love.

Feel free to check out YouTube channel NM Enterprise 7 for spiritual life lessons, wisdom and freedom from the things that emotionally and physically bind you this day!

Season Greetings!

Nicholl

Harsh Stuff Some Parents Think, The Truth Is

You weren't ready for children and may never be.

You really can't afford them.

You really don't trust your children with relatives or friends.

You don't trust your kids, but it sounds nice saying so.

The kids don't like you much, because they are still holding things against you from as far back as 5.

You aren't into their creative works no matter how much they say, "I made this for you...isn't it nice? I was inspired by Picasso..."

Your parents were right about you and now the grandparents are right about your children.

You don't know what you are doing when it comes to disciplining children, but you convince your spouse and other people otherwise.

You don't like playing with children, you prefer to make money any day.

If you could give kids back to the heavenly Father above, you would strongly consider it.

Parenting isn't easy although you thought it was when you didn't have children of your own.

You prefer to work long hours away from home rather than help with homework.

You prefer to work long hours away from home rather than do other things like: parent/teacher conference, sporting events, plays, recitals--you name it.  No one's judging--we get it.

Your child isn't as cute as others, but hey, it doesn't bother you, right?  He/she is really smart. But then again...

You convince yourself a lot that you will do better than your parents in the parenting department, how's that going?

"Drinking, drugs, rated R, X movies, cursing others...it's all okay for adults..." Who are you kidding?

That "friend" you were hugging...the children know you like him or her better than their mom or dad.

Who are you fooling, you know you don't want to lug your children to church, the family event, or another children's activity, so stop fake smiling?

"Where are the kids going, how long will they be gone, do they have their belongings..."  What do you care?  They are leaving for awhile--yeah!

What would people think if you dressed in a cape, wore a pair of stockings and an S on your chest?  "You look like a d&mn fool!"  But you will do it anyway, it's Halloween, right?

You are out of shape, yet you really try to keep up with the kids.  You know you really need to watch your eating habits and exercise.  How long do you plan on being around for your kids, but then again do you want to be?

Why do I have kids again?

Pregnant again?  Aww sh#t!  I mean I am so happy...

You convince yourself you are a good parent, really?  Let's talk to the kids.

When was the last time you said you loved anyone in your household yet you want them to show some appreciation for you?

So you love your kids more than your partner...your world is all about your kids, eh?  Wow, impressive--wonder how your spouse feels.   So what happens when your children move on and start a family of their own?  Guess who will be around-- that's if you don't end up divorcing before then?

"I put my children before anyone I date...I love my kids...No one can come between my children and I...I will hurt someone about my kids...I will do anything for my children!"  We get the point.  So don't date, be there for your children.

You are too old to be arguing with children, so why do it?

"If I told you once, I told you..."  Keep talking, they aren't listening.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains the blog When Mothers Cry and also check out her book with the same name.

We Know There is Something Wrong But We Keep on Living Anyway

You hoped your child didn't end up acting just like the part of you, you simply don't like.  That one a parent never understood, was often impatient with and couldn't wait for him/her to grow up and get away. 

They said, "You're crazy!" and now your child is experiencing the same.

You know deep within there are some things that aren't right within, but they aren't so dysfunctional that you can't go about your daily living.  However, your child might be quite a different story.

At first, we don't want to believe that our children have "issues."  We want them to reason, play, behave, and do all the things that "normal" children do.  But when they behave bizarrely the reminder shows up, "My child is different..."  We know, but we just don't like to face the facts and we definitely don't want others pointing out our children's weaknesses either! 

To think of an awesome and perfect God that many believers speak of and associate Him to our child's suffering provides mixed emotions on the existence of a righteous being.  We question how and why when we are still trying to cope with what went wrong.   We talk ourselves in either believing or not in a perfect God with an imperfect creation.  We make excuses for our hardships.  We gravitate to others with similar woes.  We hope, pray, visit doctors, read books, obtain prescription medicines, herbal remedies, or do nothing. 

And so the fact still remains, something is wrong, but we keep on living anyway.

Nicholl McGuire

Stressed with Partner, Taking Out Issues on Children

It happens.  You are angry with your partner and out of the clear blue your children do something that upsets you and before long you are emotional with all.  The children are punished more than usual and your spouse is the last person you want to talk to.  But what started the madness?  Was it the tone of voice from you or a partner that morning?  A bit too much silent treatment could have aided in the emotional swing.  Sometimes repeated rejections from a partner who just doesn't want to have sex.  All this and more can affect one's interaction or lack thereof with children.

A spouse or partner doesn't always see how he or she is impacting the household due to any number of reasons: stubborn ways, mood swings, irritability with others outside the home and more.  We don't always have the mind capacity, energy, or time to deal with our partner's woes.  So when the rain starts to pour, it won't be long before yet another storm.

Consider the following if you are having your share of the blues at home:

1.  Take a break and be alone for as long as you can.  If this means you have to sneak away, then do so for a time.  Leave a note if you are going out of the home explaining why you really need some time to yourself.  Think about how you can make things better at home and with children.

2.  Don't always assume that a partner understands what you are going through.  Write yourself a note airing out everything that is bothering you, pray, and then throw your cares away.  This way you feel a little lighter and ready to face the world again and your family.  Talk to a trusted friend or professional if need be.

3.  Children will misbehave and you will not always be equipped to handle whatever they throw your way, so forgive yourself if you are a bit callous at times with them.  Come up with a system to handle some of those household issues.

4.  If you feel like you are obsessing about leaving the relationship, chances are you just might need to distance yourself from a partner.  Seek the counsel of an attorney before you say anything about a divorce to anyone.

5.  Keep in mind, you were once a child, would you want to walk on eggshells everyday around the family home?  Make children feel safe even if you don't feel secure sometimes.

6.  Note how you have been feeling since changing your diet, routine, a medicine, or something else.  You might be going through a myriad of emotions because your body is fighting up against change.

7.  If you feel you are losing your mind with a partner due to things he or she may be going through, communicate your concerns, but also take necessary action if there is no compromising.

May peace be restored within you and with those you love!

Nicholl McGuire

When the Children are Away...

You may be one of the blessed who have a strong support system around you that you can rely on for things like: babysitting, gifts for children, special event attendance, party planning, etc. but there are many parents that don't have those circles.  For many reasons, parents are usually taking turns watching, care-taking, and supporting children.  One is busily working while the other is tending to children.  One is in need of a break while the other is driving children to one appointment after the next.  But when the opportunity comes that children are away, what are you doing?

When children are away, here are some ideas to keep you and your partner close rather than apart:

1.  Discuss plans on what to do when children return.  Re-work anything you both may or may not be doing to bring peace to the home.

2.  Take some time to do the things you really wanted to do in and around your residence.  Whether tasks are big or small, take advantage of that 1 to 24 hours that children are away and get as much done as possible.

3.  Maybe you don't have anything individually that must be tended to, then why not have that date night you have been talking about?

4.  Breathe.  There is nothing wrong with doing nothing while children are away.

5. Pray.  Chances are you haven't spent any quality time with the Lord in a long time.  Drag those prayers out.  Read the Bible or fellowship with Christian friends.

6.  Lastly, enjoy yourself by tending to personal needs (without a partner) from pampering yourself to shopping.  Sometimes time together isn't what you need, but some space away from it all.

Although moments away from children don't come often, when they do come, embrace them and appreciate those who help you gain that much needed quality time!

Nicholl McGuire

10 Things that Define a Quality Mother

Sometimes we lose sight as to what defines a quality mother.  The following list are some common traits that show up with caring and loving mothers.

1.  No matter where they are, they check in with children.
2.  They love children even when they are difficult.
3.  They will stand up or fight for their children.
4.  They are not fearful of their children.
5.  They teach sons and daughters about life.
6.  They train children to be respectful and caring toward others.
7.  They brag about children.
8.  They are happy even with the little things that children do.
9.  They ask a lot of questions concerning children.
10.  They encourage family togetherness.

A mother who loves will do what she can, when she can.  Mom is special, treasure the good ones!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and When Mothers Cry.

What Date Night? The Tips that Mean Well But Don't Always Work

Baby, Baby Girl, Sleeping Baby

"You need a date night."  Date nights didn't help a failing relationship; instead they took away from money that could have been better used to help pay for the divorce attorney.

"You need more alone time."  More anything goes out the window when you have a newborn to care for and you are the stay at home mom or dad as well.  Try break time and even that is determined by the baby.

"Get out more."  When you work from home, that happens very little.  You are everything to your business.  Throw in managing a family and "getting out" is a luxury that happens once in a blue moon.

"Take some time off."  If you receive paid personal and sick time, good for you--take the advice.  If not, manage your bills and then see if you can make extra money to make up for that day you want off.

"Buy something for you."  Whatever that "some thing" is it is usually on sale, not what you really want, or you have to put it back, because there are other pressing needs.

I'm sure you can think of a few more.  Don't hate the person who advises such things.  Just smile and walk away.  It's obvious, they don't know you or your family like you do.  Be blessed, do what you can when the time comes.  Never put pressure on yourself or loved ones just because some one advises you to do something.  It takes time to rework schedules, create budgets to fit in needs, and other things.  When the time is right, you will know it!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books and a mother of four sons.  Sometimes she feels out of her mind, but she manages by saying, "I will not be everything to everyone.  What would they do if I wasn't here anyway to serve them?  They would live...and life would go on.  Take one day at a time, my friends."

On Loving Your Children

The love that you can't explain.  It is a wonderful emotion that comes along when you least expect it after your baby boy or girl has been born. You are ecstatic, nervous, worried, or even irritated about what is ahead.  Life is never quite the same.  Then you do this again and again and you find yourself being a pro at it. You know a lot more, you have been through much and for some they never want to do it again!

Loving your offspring doesn't have to be a challenge, but it can be depending on your personal view. Some people are quite negative when it comes to child-rearing and others not so much.  Many families don't fall apart when challenges show up, but there are plenty that do.  Those that fail don't seek necessary help outside of themselves or toxic circles.  Some parents complain, badmouth, lie, and fight with their children.  They don't seek anything more than a rabbit hole of misery.  But we all have a choice, don't we?

Today we can choose to be that one who shows love, appreciation and care for children or we don't. The world is tough enough and we only make it worse when we don't parent children effectively and when problems arise don't seek professional help.  Whether your children are with you or not, love them, you just might be the only person they can trust.

Nicholl McGuire shares wisdom on YouTube channel NM Enterprise 7

Seeking Parenting Guest Bloggers, Videomakers, Writers...

Do you enjoy writing about parenting topics?  Do you have videos already released around the web?  If so, we would like to hear from you.  We feature parents, educators, and others who enjoy sharing practical advice about everything essential from baby care to sending your teen off to college. 

If you would like more exposure, feel free to share your material to be viewed by many who visit this blog.  Send links, video, articles, etc. to nichollmcguire@gmail.com  Hope to hear from you soon!



Welcome to a Blog for Large Families with Mixed Age Groups

Thank you for taking the time to check out this blog.  I started this work back when I had children in four different age groups, the time is coming back around again.  I will have a young adult, a teen, a soon-to-be middle-schooler and one in elementary school.  Each personality is different and all require some flexibility when it comes to parenting and varying ways of communication. 

There are many useful topics about all age ranges on this blog.  You will find human picked videos, articles and other resources on the site addressing issues related to newborns to teens.  Unlike other blogs, there is no explicit content or harsh humor on this blog, it is family friendly. 

Sometimes as experienced parents we forget things and so this blog reminds us of challenges as they arise and how best to address them.  Do take a moment to click on links provided on this blog and feel free to comment.  Thanks again for stopping by and do share with others.

Nicholl McGuire



Treasure Hunts at Riddleme.com

She's Crazy Since the Baby or Maybe She was Always that Way

One thing that many men don't anticipate is their women will not be those same sweet ladies they once knew prior to child birth, new jobs, relocations, and more. It is then that these men must question were the life changes so challenging to send their partners or mothers of their children over the edge or were they always that way, but the men just never saw crazy-making behaviors coming?

Blog Owner Shares Family Related Insight from Spiritual Perspective

Nicholl McGuire who is a wife and mother maintains this blog and others.  She also expresses her thoughts on Spreaker, a podcast site which broadcasts many thought-provoking audio from individuals around the world. 

Feel free to listen to some of this blog owner's material on Spreaker and connect with her there as well.  If you haven't subscribed to this blog, please do so for the latest posts.  Nicholl is the author of many nonfiction books including When Mothers Cry, Say Goodbye to Dad and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.  If you are interested in being featured on this blog, feel free to leave comments and thanks for stopping by.  Check out Spreaker today and don't forget to connect.

 Learn more about me nichollmcguire.blogspot.com

Find the Time to Say I Love You

Whether you speak the words out loud, do something kind, or leave a token behind that says, "Honey, I love you,"  it means so much even if they don't act appreciative.  We are all living in a difficult world balancing many emotions.  What would it hurt to say or show, "I love you?" -- Nicholl McGuire


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